Grand Duke Cajarte

Chapter 22

In the past, while I'm still living in the Claintery Empire. Daughter of a Count, they expect the eldest to be a good role model from their sibling. However, I failed to do a simple task that resulted to my father being humiliated.

Like what I always stated, my current self was a sheep hiding under the wolf's fur among the crowd. Dare not to overcome the fear but instead, I remain a doll that wasn't trying her best enough to succeed.

When I open my eyes, the massive shelves greeted me and old books with their dusted covers and vintage pages have made a coffee scent that filled the ancient library. I can hear the creepy ticking sound of the wall clock with the hour hand striking the five afternoons, as if my time had stopped.

I couldn't feel the veins of my fingers that was loosely gripping the book which I was reading, numbness crept inside of my body. The chair was cozy that put me into a nap without making me realize. As I look around, the notice of the chosen books had piled on the table where I left untouched.

Knowledge, is all I have. If I can provide His Excellency with more innovations then, perhaps they won't be able to dispose me. I could prove myself that I'm worth it to the position of being the Grand Duchess hence, everyone might treat me with respect and to never insult me again.

Rather going in the kitchen to find nutritious to fill the empty belly just like how spacious my heart, I found the words coming inside of my mind as I flip the pages eagerly. With my hand supporting my head, the lamp that struggle to burned against the dark and cold wind blow the curtains.

Why?

I am trying so hard?

Is the reason perhaps the feeling of knowing how people that surround, see you as a worthless being? A lady should not hold a sword nor act daring. She must be firm and proper, be able to socialize and entertain the honorable guests.

Because I couldn't do those things. What if they'll find me vain and kick me out? If my own father could despise me and stake me for their welfare. Does it mean that the Grand Duke is not an exception? Then, where should I go?

Where should my soul reside in peace? A place that will occupy the vacancy of the heart through doing things with freedom. The so-called home that I've been longing under the vast sky with unending road. Is there a possibility that I will be able to find it?

At last, the noise of the grumbling stomach has stop as I ignore it. I already skipped breakfast and lunch for the exchange of reading and I've been here since early in the morning. Would it be bad if I stay here for a bit longer?

I was busy understanding the context of the paragraph. I was trying my best to forget, erasing the images of him giving a ring to her that he couldn't even provide to her first wife despite with all of those presents I received. Why do I care if the Grand Duke has found a concubine?

Shall I also look for a lover?

My eyes went wide as a ridiculous idea came up. I shook my head to shun the nonsense brought only by a spur moment. In the first place, I was already anticipating for this day to happen. Yet, my heart keeps wavering and troubling my head that it causes me confusion with jungle emotions.

I knitted my thick eyebrows when the letters suddenly became doubled. I draw my face closer to the sentence for me to make sure that I haven't gone insane. Then, I decided to rub my eyes and blink a few times before gazing down again. I need information as much as I can be able to gather.

However, the words became blurred this time and incapable to read. Suddenly, I started to panic as my vision that I terrified to lose was slowly slipping away in my grasp. I flinch when I heard the voice of Jackson, appeared mysteriously beside me and my sight instantly returned.