I Told The Stars About You

Chapter 33

Who knew walking away and trying to be the strong one would hurt this bad? Everything hurts.

From the way my head is throbbing, to the stabbing pain behind my eyes from crying so much. My heart feels like it's bleeding out and I'm afraid it's never going to stop.

My throat hurts from begging and pleading for him to stay with me, even though I will never truly say those words to him out loud. I can't help the silly little girl in me that wants to go back, get on my knees and beg for him to choose me instead of her. I would do anything if he would just stay with me.

I don't remember the drive home or making it to my bed after I left the track. I cried and cried until I felt like there were no more tears left in my body. He took my heart and all the love that I had to give until I was drained dry and now it's replaced with numbness.

I can't help but feel that his cheating on me was all my fault. I'm the one who let him in, even though he told me he wasn't capable of loving anyone else because his love belonged to her. It's my fault for letting him mess me up.

I'm so fucking mad at myself for being pregnant with his baby. I never got the chance to tell him.

I can't tell how many days I've stayed in this bed.

One moment I open my eyes to the day and the next moment I open my eyes to the dark. Olivia has checked on me multiple times throughout the day. She will just lay with me silent, letting me sob and scream while she holds me.

I never told her what happened, but I'm pretty sure she found out fast from Ryan or Kyler because she has been with me at the apartment ever since this whole thing started.

I hear a light knock on my door and then there's a dip in the bed next to me.

"I brought you some toast and some water." Olivia sets the food down on the nightstand and then lies next to me. I remain silent and turn my body to face her.

"Brinley, you need to eat. You've hardly eaten anything the last 2 days and I'm worried about you." She pleads in the softest tone.

I really should try to eat something since I am pregnant. It's just so hard to eat when all I want to do is throw up.

I sit up and Liv grabs the plate and hands it to me. I take a few bites and wash it down with water so she'll get off my back.

"Thank you Liv." I croak. She has been the best help during my heartbreak.

"Of course babe. I know it's fresh and you don't have to talk about it, but I want you to know that I am so fucking sorry. Both Ryan and I were in shock when we found out. We saw Kyler later that same day and he looked like complete shit. It took me a while to get it out of him, but once he let us know, I couldn't help but slap him across the face." Liv says angrily. If I had the energy to chuckle, I would. I love how Liv sticks up for me, even when I'm not around.

"Yeah, I don't know what I did to him to deserve being cheated on. He was so against cheating that I never thought it would've happened from him." I cry.

Liv holds me and I melt into her and my tears begin falling.

"Why do I keep falling in love with people who never want me? I keep falling for guys that are meant for someone else." It's true, I swear all the guys I date end up marrying the girls that they cheated on me with or who they end up dating after me.

"Oh, Brinley! It's not your fault that you find the best in people and love them with all your heart. How were you supposed to know Kyler was going to cheat on you? You didn't. You just gave him your all and he didn't know how to love you properly."