For OVERTHINKERS

Overcoming Insecurity

Are you one of the many people dealing with insecurity in today’s complex environment? No matter how intelligent and capable you are?

Do you find yourself feeling filled with self-doubt and short on confidence?

Despite your accomplishments, do you feel like a fraud destined to be exposed?

Do you feel that you don’t deserve lasting love and that your partner will inevitably leave you?

Do you stay at home, afraid to venture out and meet new people because you don’t feel you have enough to offer?

Do you feel overweight, boring, stupid, guilty, or ugly?

There isn’t a person among us who doesn’t have insecurities, even the most confident and outspoken people have some things about themselves that they are not completely happy or satisfied with. Some are just better at dealing with them, or perhaps hiding them.
It’s normal to have down days where you feel you can’t seem to do anything right. But feeling insecure about yourself all the time can take a toll on every aspect of your life, from your physical health and emotional well-being.

When we feel insecure about something, we are unable to fully trust ourselves at that moment. And without trust, there’s a shadow of uncertainty. This leads to hesitant behavior where we struggle to take decisive action toward a desired outcome. Because of our insecurities, we tend to live with excessive anxiety. We avoid taking proactive action and judge ourselves harshly when our lofty expectations are not realized.

There are times when people will be doing something not necessarily right, but since the majority would be doing it, you and others would feel insecure about not joining in together. You would feel left out, and feel bad about yourself because of insecurity. Not only that, but it affects your relationship with others because you can no longer “be” yourself and you lost your own identity.

While experiencing with insecurity, we form unhealthy attachments to others. We use people as a platform to boost our own self-esteem and confidence. We rely on them to build our self-worth. Moreover, we secretly hope that they will bring the best out of us. But time and again people let us down, and this just cause self pity.

But why do we do this to ourselves?

Sometimes others may see you as a competent person, but you actually feel bewildered by everyday situations.

You feel insecure because you make irrational interpretations about yourself or about your ability to get something done.

Past experience can feed your sense of not belonging, not feeling important or interesting, or just not being good enough. 

You may also feel that your peers do not accept you, or that you will never “fit in” with society.

Unhappiness also influences your self-esteem, failure and rejection can deliver a double effect to your confidence.

Distorted beliefs about your self-worth and about the extent to which other people are judging you. 

Beating up on yourself and constantly worrying about not being good enough.

How do we learn to find contentment and peace?

Below are the process you can use that will help you to work through your insecurities. These are progressive combat steps, which means that it’s important to go through each step fully before moving onto the next step.
You need to first commit yourself to the process, you need to commit to putting in time and effort into this process. Only in this way will you see results.

• Understanding yourself and what you feel
What uncertainty exists that is making me feel insecure?
The first step involves understanding your insecurity and all about awareness. Take a moment and ask yourself why you have feelings of insecurity in the first place and determine where those feelings originate. The deeper you go, the better you will understand how you have come to develop these insecurities.
•Practice being objective
Is this really how things are or just how I imagine them to be?
Your insecurities are nothing more than interpretations you have made about yourself. When you challenge yourself to think objectively, you start to question the validity of your thoughts. You throw doubt at the interpretations you have made and open the door to new possibilities and perspectives.
•Celebrate your wins
What have I excelled in the past or even now?
Make sure you think even the smallest things you’ve done and successfully achieved over a lifetime. It gives you the confidence and self-assurance needed to get through anything.
•Positive self-talk
I will learn from my mistakes and keep moving forward without hesitation!
This ain’t about finishing the race or process rather about going just a little further than before.
•Change the story that you’re telling yourself
I am a confident and capable person, I believe I can do this!!!
We can create space to tell ourselves a new, more empowering story. Focus on your goals and progress.

We may not be perfect in another person’s eyes but always remember that we're perfect in God’s eyes because he created us in his liking.
It is not necessary to be perfect in order to be in a happy, healthy, and secure relationship with yourself, others, and God. He gives us many obstacles in life including insecurity and He want us to accept it as a challenge to test our self-endurance and faith. It is important to remember that when you take your attention off in what other people think and keep the focus on yourself, you can help become a better or even more secure version of yourself.