Scissorhands The Last Snow

This Time Imperfect

I didn't stop running until I ended up in an unfamiliar part of town. It looked to be the poor side due to the decaying and dying buildings with run down shops and whatnot. There were a few people hanging around or the occasional pedestrian walking by, giving me a weird glance. Well I was dressed in a nice suit in a horrible looking part of town. I would imagine I'm sticking out like a sore thumb. I had no idea what time it was or where I even was. I don't even know how long I had been running. I threw my phone miles ago. But it must have been later than at least 11 due to the cold air circling around me. I was really cold. I could even see my breath due to every shaky breath I let out. I wrapped my arms around myself and kept my eyes to the ground. I had long ran out of tears and I was left feeling totally dry.

But that didn't stop the pain that was consuming me. Everything inside me was a broken note from a song of beauty that was turned into a horrid song of agony. I wasn't hurting because I was leaving that wretched place called school, that hell called home, those demons called people and Satan as known as "father". None of it bothered me because in all honesty I felt a weight that was lifted off my shoulders because I would no longer have to deal with them. I don't have to hear how much they hate me or how much I'm not wanted. I don't have to endure the glances of disdain. All of it was over and that was a relief to me.

But the weight was replaced with the hurt of leaving him behind. Leaving someone you've spent so long being in love with, longing to be with them in every way possible, to tell them how special they are and how much they mean to you. The entire future you spent dreaming about since the moment you laid eyes on them. Getting married and living a long and happy life. Sticking together through anything and everything. Getting to call him mine and mine only. Just staring into his beautiful eyes and knowing that everything is going to be okay. All of that has been erased forever.

And I know he hates me. He hates me for leaving him behind despite him begging for me to stay. I even hate myself. I hate myself for being weak and not being able to hang on anymore. For running away from everything and not facing them head on. I hate that I did it. I fucking despise myself.

But it seemed to be the only option for me. I was ready to snap and burst. I was ready to destroy everything because there was so much anger and rage. Too much for me to hold without destroying myself and those around me.

Kade may hate me, but he doesn't deserve to be dragged down with me. Straight to hell. But I'm glad he hates me, everything will be so much easier if he does.

I sighed and stopped in front of shop that used to be in nice condition but it clearly has been abandoned. The windows were either dirty or busted. There was a gate the was locked in front of a green colored door with a window in the middle. I pressed my back up against the wall before sliding down and sitting with my knees pulled up against my chest. I hugged myself closely for warmth since my tux jacket wasn't really doing the job.

I honestly didn't know what to do at this point. I have no money, no family, no job, no friends. I have absolutely nothing but yet it seemed better than staying in a place where everyone wishes you were dead.

But how was I going to survive? Surviving when you have nothing doesn't seem so bright.

I let out a sigh before burying my face in my knees. I could always go back but nothing will change. It will continue to be the same and I don't think I could continue dealing with it anymore. I just want a fresh start. Somewhere different and away from the drama.

But then again I wanted Kade with me. That's what was tearing me apart. I'm going to miss him so much. He was my rock through everything. He's what has kept me around all that time. But I'm just a fucking mess. A mess that he doesn't need. He's gonna find someone who could love him better than I can. Give him what I can't and be what I can't be. He's gonna be happy because Kade deserves to be happy. He deserves all the goodness in the world.