Anna: Harry Styles

Belong To You

24th of March 2018

I had barely slept over the last few days, both my mind and body exhausted for god knows what reason.

I tossed and turned throughout the evenings, my body hurting from how tired I was, but my mind unable to shut off during the night.

I knew it had something to do with my mum, who had called me the other day, once again asking what time I would be home and if Dad was with me too, which troubled me so much that Harry had found me sobbing in our hotel room bathroom at 1 am.

I hated being like this because I knew it also affected Harry and my friends, as none of us knew how to handle the situation at hand, that being grieving for someone who is still alive.

I wanted to drop everything and fly back to England after the phone call, but once again, Lauren convinced me out of it, saying that I only had four months to go before I was back home.

"Hey, Anna?" Ruby asked gently, my eyes fluttering open as I was trying to have a nap before the show but it was just not happening for me.

"Mhmm?" I asked, a small yawn leaving my mouth as I stretched my arms above me, my body curled up on the couch in the dressing room.

"I got you a cappuccino if you want it," Ruby said softly as I sat up, resting my back against the arm of the slightly uncomfortable couch.

"God, what did I do to deserve you, Rubes?" I questioned as she handed me the drink, the familiar logo of Starbucks greeting me as I took the warm beverage into my hands.

"I know, I'm a gem hey," she said with a laugh and I let out a small giggle as she sat beside me on the couch.

We were in Oberhausen in Germany and the weather had been fairly gloomy since we arrived, which I do not think was helping the slump that I was in.

"You truly are," I said softly and Ruby gave me a small smile before giving my shoulder a squeeze, the small but comforting gesture giving me some reassurance that my friends were here for me when I needed them the most.

"James is watching soundcheck, if you want to have a chat about things with me," Ruby said after a moment of silence and I sighed, not even knowing where to begin with what I was feeling. "Or we don't have to chat about that, we can talk about anything you want Anna."

"It's not that I don't want to talk about it, I just don't even know where to begin with what I'm feeling," I said before taking a sip of my coffee, praying that the caffeine would give me some form of energy.

"I know babe, but I'm just giving you the option for you to talk to someone other than Harry."

"Wait what? Has he said something?" I asked, suddenly feeling very stressed that Harry had made a comment about me dumping all my emotions onto him.

That's one of the things we differ in. Harry will never tell me when something is bothering him, whereas I need to get things out of me otherwise I will explode. He's getting better, but I hate the fact he feels like he needs to bottle things up to himself when all I want him to do is tell me everything that he is feeling; the good and the bad.

"No of course not, but I know sometimes it's good to get a different perspective or opinion about the situation at hand."

"I know, you're right," I said. "I don't think I'm up to talking about it at the moment though, Harry and I had a long conversation about how I was feeling the other night though."