Attack On Titan One Shots

Various Pick Up Lines

Three faint knocks come from Levi's door.

"State you're name and business." He says, his voice stoic as he takes a sip of tea.

"Armin Arlert, sir! I-I need to talk to you!" Armin says nervously.

"You may enter." Levi says, irritated. This better be good, he's interrupting his tea time.

Armin enters hesitantly, gulping. Levi makes a 'hurry up with it' hand motion. "I'm sorry sir, but I'm going to treat you like my books, slam you on the table and keep my hands on you all night,"  Armin says quickly, salutes, and leaves before Levi can say anything..

What was that about? Levi shrugs it off, going back to his paperwork and tea.

Not five minutes later another knock sounds on the door.

Sighing,  Levi grunts, "Enter."

Jean walks in, his back too straight and a faint blush on his cheeks. "You look great and all, but do you know what really looks good on you? Me." 

" Cadet-" Levi starts, angry. But Jean leaves just as quickly as Armin had.

Again, a few minutes later there's a knock.

"If it's not important, go away!" Levi growls.

Hangi enters, a creepy smile on her face. She sits down, proping her feet up. "Are you one of my experiments? Because I'm so checking you out."

Levi fumes. He watches her as she stands, laughing so hard she clutches her sides. Once she leaves, he pulls a small flask from a locked drawer on his desk.

He tips the harsh liquid into his tea, capping it when he thinks he has had enough. Thinking again, he pours just a little more in before slamming the drawer shut with the flask inside. "God help me," He whispers to himself, gulping the entire tea in one go.

He gets up to start more tea. Another dreaded knock sounds on the door. The person comes in without being invited, and Levi spins around aggressively to tell the person off, only to discover it's his superior.

Commander Erwin nods at Levi. "Would you like to see a magic trick?" he asks, trying to hide the grin trying to break out on his face.

"Commander-" Levi warns.

"Bend over and watch my dick disappear." Erwin spins and rushes from the room, failing to hide the grin that splits his face.

With his tea now done, he hurries to his desk and empties the rest of the flask into his cup. The liquid threatens to spill over the rim.

There's another knock, and he let's the disturbance enter.

It's Eren, much to Levi's delight. His throws his head back, draining the tea cup before standing. Eren looks a little scared, but doesn't say anything for a moment.

When he starts to, Levi shushes him with his mouth he breaks the kiss before Eren can respond. "Got any French in you?"

"Wha-" Eren starts, only to be stopped by Levi's seductive voice.

"Want some?"