NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT (BUCKY BARNES x OC)

Chapter 40

TW: None
Word Count: 1925

After I forced him back inside, we changed our clothes and hung out on the couch for a while. I wouldn't stop talking about how much I enjoyed the date. He kept asking if I was sure I had a good time. Of course I did.

We went into our rooms separately to go to sleep, and I found myself realizing that I'm almost positive that I love him. I started to overthink things and felt myself get overwhelmed. I stood up from my bed and started pacing around the room.

There's no way we can get far without him finding out about the wire I didn't remove. I'm a terrible person for looking through his journal just to rush him into something he might not even be able to handle yet.

I immediately grabbed a bottle of wine and looked at it. If I just got wasted and went to sleep, there'd be no harm in that. He told me to go to him the next time I was feeling overwhelmed, though. I sighed gently before setting the bottle back where I found it.

I made my way to his door and hesitated to knock. I finally did, though, and waited a moment before I was greeted with him shirtless and sweaty. I grabbed him tightly and he patted my back gently. He shut the door before leading me to his bed.

"You weren't having a nightmare, were you?" I asked, sitting on his bed. I noticed the journal was open to where the picture of me was and he closed it quickly before putting it in the drawer of his nightstand. Before he closed it, I also noticed that he had a picture from the Brooklyn-Peter incident.

"What? Oh, no," he said, sitting next to me after adjusting his sweatpants.

"Why are you all sweaty then?" I asked, grabbing the fluffy blanket on his bed.

"I uh, don't know," he said, shrugging. "Is everything okay?" He asked, putting his left hand on my shoulder gently. I shook my head and he pulled me into his chest gently. He laid down with me in his arms. "What's wrong?"

"I'm just feeling overwhelmed," I said quietly. "I just need to relax."

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked, resting his right hand on my cheek. My left arm was draped over his body and his metal arm was pressed up against my right. I shivered slightly.

"Not really," I said, shrugging. He sat me up before going to his closet.

He threw a sweatshirt at me. I put it on before he shut the light off. He laid on his back and I snuggled into his side. He held me with his left arm and I could only feel a little bit of freezing cold through his thick sweatshirt.

He helped me keep my mind off of my problem because I knew that I'd caught him in the middle of thinking about me sexually. I felt bad that I interrupted, but I thought about that mostly, keeping my mind on the idea of that instead.

I woke up to the feeling of his chest moving up and down rapidly. Instead of yelling, he was quietly saying "no." I wonder how long his nightmares last until they get to his normal yelling. I quickly turned on the bedside lamp and moved back to the very far side of the bed. I poked him with my foot as I called out his name loudly. He woke up and looked around quickly.

He grabbed me and laid me on my back. He buried his face into my stomach and cried softly. I played with his hair and tried to calm him down by talking to him. He soon came around to talking back to me.

"What happened?" I asked, rubbing his upper back.

"T-they had you," he said shakily. "And they made me," he stopped talking and started to cry again. I could tell where it was going.

"Hey, it's okay," I said, hushing him gently. "You don't need to tell me about it if you don't want to." I felt him nod his head slightly and we continued to lay together.