My Only Insanity *Shoey Fan fiction*

Chapter 21: To be delicate

{one sex scene later because I'm too lazy and sad rn to write an actual sex scene because love is currently killing me but hell it won't stop me from writing and making you guys happy}

Shane laid down beside me and took my hand in both of his and held it too his chest, where I could feel the slowly decreasing rate of the pump of his heart, as our breaths were heavy but slowing down as well. He started to kiss from my hand down my arm all the way until he reached my neck, and started to suck and playfully nibbling at it. He made his trail of kisses lead to my face, and smiled cheekily at me and pecked my lips, and stared into my eyes.

Shane: I thought there was a beautiful man at the end.

I smiled back at him as is watched his eyes droop close slowly, and laid my head on his chest. I felt his heart beat slowly up and down, as my head moved in that pattern with his chest.

His arms wrapped around me almost like instinct, and he dug his face into my hair.

Dan walked in, and I shot him a 'I-don't-care-if-you-don't-want-me-to-bite-off-your-dick-you-better-turn-around-and-walk-straight-out-that-door' look and he just turned around and walked out of the room again.

I fell quietly asleep in Shane's arms.

{Shanes Pov}

My eyes flashed open in a second, afraid. I'm not sure of what. I'm just panicy, as if I'm going to be back in that hospital room. The doctors sure messed me. I felt unsure of all my surroundings for a second, then saw Joey curled up, laying on my chest, and it felt like coming home.

Joey: I love you, Shane.

Joey mumbled, asleep I think. He's so freaking adorable. His eyes opened slowly for a split second, he smiled sleepily up at me, and his eyes closed softly shut again.

I looked at my wrists that were showing to me, wrapped around Joey. How they had no cuts at all. It looked like you wouldn't even know I had ever sliced deeply into my wrists with a kitchen knife at one point, trying to slowly kill myself. When I was found on my bathroom floor, pulling up blood, because I stabbed myself in the stomach, trying to slowly kill myself. Because I thought I deserved it. I still think I deserve the most horrible and dreadful and vein death possible.

I looked down at my stomach, which still had the scars and the stitches, that would never go away, reminding me of the day I didn't feel good enough for anything.

Shane: You're my everything.

I whispered, tears falling from my eyes down my cheeks, as my legs and hands shook wild with panic and the fear of loosing him.

His eyes peered open again as looked up at my reddened face that was tear soaked, and my arm that shook frantically, still holding onto him.

He just dug his face into my shoulder, now laying almost completely on top of me. His chest pressed more against mine with every movement, every breath, that proved he was still here and so was I. And maybe that's what's important.

Just to know you reason to exist and live on this world full of sin is in your arms, laying with you, his head sunk deep into the crease on your neck. You can feel the small pecks he leaves, just terrified that the simplest touch could just might break him. To be delicate enough to handle such a beautiful person. Maybe that's what life is.

Joey: Don't cry, baby.

He mumbled into my neck, and left another kiss there. I wrapped my arms right around him, and he let me just hold him.

I could feel the way his very skinny hip bones pressed against mine, all the way up to his hands in my hair and all the way down to our feet wrapped around each other.

Shane: We'll get out of here one day.

Joey looked up at me.

Shane: Together. But we'll have to get better first. I'll help you if you help me.

Joeys eyes turned concerned.

Joey: I don't know if I can get better.

I put his face in my hands.

Shane: It's extremely possible. You just have to try, and remember I'll love you no matter what. Whatever or whoever made you this way, is gone now. You don't have to worry about them any longer. It's only you and I.

His lips came to my own, and we kissed slowly and beautifully.

Shane: I love you.

I whispered when we pulled away.

Joey: We need to make it to lunch. So we better get dressed.

I smiled at him and he smiled back.

Joey got off of me and struggled to sit up, and I got out of bed completely. I helped him get dressed, putting him in some black yoga pants, which seemed to be his favorite, and an 'Adventure Time' sweater, whatever the hell that is. He slid on his socks and vans by himself as I got dressed quickly as well.

As soon as I got fully dressed, Phil came into the room, and smiled at us.

Phil: You guys ready to eat? You must be starving.

I shrugged.

Joey: Let's go.

Joeys voice was raspy and sleepy at the same time, which made my heart just awe.

Phil walked us to the cafeteria yet again.

{Sorry it's short I'm depressed}