Tomtord; When you see it you'll shit bricks

Chapter 13: The Growth

Tord was having a hard time paying attention to the road. His balls itched too much. "Damn I need something to soothe the itch." Tord spoke aloud one hand on the wheel one on his orbs of glory. Before long he was able to pull into a gas station convenience store. He walked into the station and saw a chipper man at the table. "Hello customer! And welcome to the gas station." He said in a familiar voice. Tord thought he knew the voice from some sort of music video with Markiplier, but he couldn't be for certain.
"Hi! Do you have any... y'know" Tord said, whispering the end of his sentence. As a surprise to Tord, the cashier knew exactly what tord wanted. (Most likely due to Tord still having a hand on his marble sack.) The man brought up a little tiny mason jar full of brownish crusty liquid.
"We normally sell this for 40 pounds... But you seem nice so I'll give it to you for 3." Tord stared at the liquid, a bit repulsed by its color.
"Are you sure this will work?" The hair-horned freak replied.
"Positive. It's homemade here at the station." The man behind the plastic counter tops winked. Tord's itchy balls was slowly morphing into a burn
"I'll take it!" Tord impulsively bought the creamy substance.
Anything to soothe the itch...
Tord slammed the money on the table and rushed back to his car, He removed his pantaloons to see the blue patch was bigger. "Fuck." He mumbled under his breath.
He quickly took the sticky scentless substance and smeared it all over the patch. This made the patch turn black and start to bubble. Tord screamed in horror at his boiling balls.
OH GOD OH FUCK.
Tord didn't know what to do, he quickly tried to remove the substance but it was too late. The patch had turned completely black, but it started to form a tiny face, Tord couldn't instantly make it out but upon closer observation he recognized it.
Joe apa.
Tord felt blessed by the holy ape,
It's not a curse! This is a blessing!
Tord had been marked by him, the holy ape. Tord pulled up his pants and looked at the holy cream the man behind the counter gave him. He saw a small label on it that read, 'Matpat's Cum.'