Moonstone (supercorp)

We Can Be Terrified Together

Numb.

That's the only word Lena could think of to describe what she was feeling.

There was an emptiness in her body, a hollow in her soul; her bones felt brittle and overused and she could barely make it out of bed this morning.

It'd been one week since she last saw Kara. One week since they last spoke.

Kara had tried contacting Lena multiple times. The blonde had sent messages and left voicemails. The voicemails were all the same: Kara apologizing and asking Lena to call her back. And the texts were a reiteration of that.

Lena wanted to pick up the phone. She wanted to apologize. She wanted to show up at Kara's doorstep with a ridiculous amount of flowers and donuts from the diner that Kara loved so much. Lena wanted to tell Kara that she hadn't done anything wrong. It was Lena who had fucked up. It was Lena who had been out of line.

But Lena wasn't strong enough to face Kara without falling apart. She knew, that as soon as she saw Kara, she'd beg for forgiveness. And even though Kara deserved an apology, Lena thought it best to stay away. Kara was better off without her.

Lena blocked Kara's number and made a decision.

If she got away for a while, it wouldn't hurt as much. Maybe Kara would forget about her and move on. At least that's what she thought. So she booked a flight to go stay at her father's ranch in Smallville; the very place where she grew up. She booked it because she needed the escape. She booked it, because for the first time since she'd moved to New York, the city was starting to suffocate her. She couldn't stand to breathe in the city air; not when she knew that somewhere in the city, the girl she loved was breathing the same air.

New York City felt like Kara's embrace and Lena couldn't bear it.

So here she was at the airport, watching lovers say goodbye, and all Lena could do was stare emotionlessly.

The numbness was better than pain, she thought.

Lena had only told one person where she was going—Sam. And though her friend hadn't been too happy about Lena's decision, she told her to do whatever she needed to do.

The flight dragged on for longer than Lena expected. Probably because Lena couldn't sleep through it, which is what she normally did when she flew—she hated airplanes.

When she landed, she had two text messages waiting for her. They were from Alex. She wanted to talk.

Lena wasn't going to call Alex.

She put her phone away and went through the airport arrival process, then she climbed into the car that waited for her and headed to the ranch. When she got to the house, she headed straight to her bedroom and placed her phone on the nightstand, took a long and scalding shower, and decided to skip dinner and just go to bed.

Lena wasn't going to call Alex.

But it was nearly midnight and she was restless. She couldn't sleep. All she could think about was Kara. What if something happened to her? That's probably why Alex texted. It must have been an emergency, she told herself.

So she caved and she called Alex.

"Lena. Thank you for calling." The redhead answered on the third ring; her tone of voice was all business, her emotions indecipherable over the phone.

Lena didn't speak.

"Kara has been worried sick about you. She's been trying to reach you, but it goes straight to voicemail"—

"I blocked her number," Lena said matter of factly, cutting Alex's sentence short.

"Wow... what are we in high school? Jesus, Lena. You're a grown woman. You can't just runaway from this."