Confessions of an Invisible Woman

Chapter 7: Love and War

Ever since the Life of SGA Instagram post about me was posted it has gone viral to the point it was even mentioned on the Shade Room. I have definitely grown leaner, meaner, and in a way bitter. I was determined AlphaView was not going to break me or destroy me, but did it?

The real estate firm is coming along great, with every piece of foundation being laid down and built. On top of finishing school with administration down my back seems like every other day, I have no room to grow and be myself nor live for me. It's always as if there's no stone unturned when it comes to impressing them: my hair, my weight, my name, my attendance, my grades, my social life etc. Same old shit just a different damn day. I'd have to tell you it was downright dull. I mean those former royal court and SGA administration made it look so easy and carefree and full of benefits. Well this one opportunity is just a decision away from costing you something in your life whether you want it to or not. It's all about perspective and how you make a difference.

I look at the girl in the mirror with blotchy red eyes hiding behind sunglasses and hair splashing itself over my face and neck. If there's anything I learned about in life it's to never try to make love to a goddess early in the morning because she has to pick up the pieces of herself by herself.

The water is cleansing, warm, welcoming and it brings me back to reality. I see my phone has been blowing up with messages from Jasmine, Matt, and Calvin. I already know how this circle of rotation goes in this court of friendship. Calvin is going to try to talk to Jasmine so she can get her way and get me to not drag her or go off on her. As far as Matthew is concerned, there's nothing he can do at this time to get me to even talk to him or look in his direction.

It's been at least three weeks at this point since the photoshoot and since I've been planning countless blueprints and architectural designs on the firm I'm hosting nearby yet still on campus property. I've been trying to get my thoughts around getting it taken off the ground and the more I see construction workers from Latnx and Lennox LLC building the more anxious and relieved I seem to feel.

I can't help but walk close to the site of what will be my firm. Butch size men strut around with yellow and orange jackets around their stomachs trying to tuck in their guts. The future site will sit beside the campus Public Safety trailer next to the bronze statue of the incredible renowned scholar, Dr. W.E.B DuBois. The entire site is surrounded by barbed wire fences and next to it on the bottom of the stairs was a faded white bench. Next to its legs on the concrete were cracks mixed with old and new cement. I can't forget the façade of wilted roses that haven't been watered in so long wrapping itself around the leg of the cracked paint remains on that bench.

I take out my Skullcandy bluetooth headphones that my old next door neighbor from home, Zoe Baker, bought me for Christmas. I trail my fingers over the handle as I remember the simpler and happier times many Christmases ago before I even entertained the thought of going to AlphaView.

...

"Come on Ra Ra you got to open up your gift I got you – it took me almost two months to save up for it working at Greasy Joe's". I roll my eyes as she tugs on me while I'm half sleep and half awake in the bunk bed I shared with my cousin at the time. "Zoe, girl Christmas started at 12:00 AM and I'm sleepy because you kept on jumping for joy about it". I tug the covers close to my face trying to force my body to feel warmth.

"It's not my fault – I had brownies before I went to bed". "You still can't eat sugar before you go to bed huh?", I laughed and couldn't help it. "Look I'm about to reach magnificent adulthood – mom can't stop me every single time", she crosses her arms and makes a pouty face even puppies would cuddle up to. Ms. Baker always had that rule in effect despite the fact that poor Zoe was just an incoming freshman heading for high school.