Whumptober 2020 | Sanders Sides

No. 24 YOU'RE NOT MAKING ANY SENSE

Full Prompt:
No. 24 YOU'RE NOT MAKING ANY SENSE
Forced Mutism | Blindfolded | Sensory Deprivation

Prompt(s) chosen: All of them.

TW: Not respecting someone's triggers, unsymp!Janus, abusive relationship, manipulation, faking saying "I love you", sensory deprivation, blindfolded, forced mutism, knives, being harmed by knives without your consent, blood, selective mutism, suicide mention, sort of gorey description... sort of, its just crap, major chracter death

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Logan was constantly aware of his surroundings. Well, at least he wished he could be. During sleep you were deprived of your sense of sight. During showers you were slightly deprived of your sense of hearing. Long story short, life doesn't give you everything you want. 

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It started one day two years ago, on October 24th. I had feelings for the side known as Deceit, or Janus Sanders. On that day he came up to me and asked me out on a date. We officially started became boyfriend and boyfriend a month later. That month of dating and the five months that followed were amazing. I loved him so much, and it seemed he loved me back. The key word in that sentence is seemed. 

After the first half of a year, or six months, Janus started.... doing things. My sweet snake turned... evil. I had told him about my fear of not being aware of anything around me, and that was my first mistake. One day he came downstairs when the other were there and forced my hand over my mouth so I couldn't say a thing. I tried to let him know this was scaring me and that I didn't like it, but he didn't take the hint. 

I went up to him and tried to get him to tell me why he was doing this, but the only answer I got was a whisper in my ear. "I'll remove it if you stay silent." I nodded vigorously  and he allowed me to move my hand away. I let out a sigh of relief and kissed him on the cheek. I stayed silent through the rest of the night, mostly avoiding the others so I wouldn't have to talk with them. 

A week later the same thing happened, but after I agreed to stay silent I broke the agreement and talked with Patton. That night was the first night. I went back up to my room to see Jay waiting there, a blindfold in his hand. "What did I say about staying silent?" He said as he walked over to me. He held me still as he tied the blindfold around my eyes. 

I scrambled to get it off, but he held it there. Unmoving. "Hey, hey. It's okay. It's just me." I continued panicking though, Why was he doing this? He loves me! After about five minutes he finally removed it and I collapsed in his arms. "Shhh." He whispered in my ear, and rubbed my back. "It's okay. I love you." 

I thought this was how a relationship worked. I had never been in one prior to this, and although there were points where it definitely didn't seem right, he still loves me! He always made sure to do that after he did his stuff. 

This continued at that level and only a little further until the end of our first year. By this time I had stopped messing up as much so Janus wouldn't do things to me. In case you were wondering what "do things to me" meant, it means blindfolding me, putting in earplugs, and nose plugs. I couldn't do anything other than stand there panicking until this was over. 

It was one year, five days, and 54 minutes when Janus hit the point of no return. I will recite what happened that fateful night. 

I had messed up and said a simple "Salutations" to Roman when he entered the kitchen in the morning in order to eat breakfast. That night, at around 5:00pm Janus took me to a place in his room. He tied me down to a chair, blindfolded, unable to hear, and unable to smell. This wasn't all that uncommon, well, until I felt a sharp, cool, metal blade press down on the side of my neck, near my collar bone. 

It hurt, but I was unable to scream. Oh, right, I forgot to mention that he gagged me. He pressed hard enough to draw blood, and soon I could feel the hot sticky blood more commonly known as blood dripped down my neck. He did this in a few more places, including my upper arm and my leg. He said that if I told anyone then it would be worse next time, so I kept quiet. 

This was normal, right? This continued and got worse. Soon he did it to make it look like I was self-harming. If anyone caught me I had to convey that I did it myself. I knew sign language by this point, and the others were learning it too. They didn't understand why I had begun to use it, but at least I couldn't explain. Therapy sessions started for the "self-harming" and it was horrible. I had to lie. About everything. This was normal though. 

Today was the two year anniversary of our wonderful relationship, and I wanted to make Janus happy. I had went to the store earlier and now was coming back with a box of chocolates, and rainbow flowers. I walked to his room, a smile on my face, as I knocked on his door in my signature steady rhythm. 

He opened the door and smiled at me. He took my gifts with a smile on his face. "Thank you so much, baby." He pulled me in and kissed me passionately before summoning a vase and putting the flowers in there. He would trim them properly later. He pulled me into his room and pulled up a chair for me to sit on. I sat down, hoping that maybe today he wouldn't do anything. It was our two year anniversary after all! 

I smiled as he grabbed something. I felt saddened though when he tied together my wrists. He then proceeded to tie me to the chair. He blindfolded me, put in the earplugs, and.. didn't gag me. I was surprised that he didn't do that... He then pressed the blade against my neck and dug it in hard. I let out a hiss in pain. He the pulled away. This was the part that killed me. I was fully exposed and I have no clue where he is so I couldn't prepare a certain part of me. 

I felt him slash down my leg quickly. It was in my calf, on the side of my lower leg. I cried out in pain after he left it bleeding. He put the knife back in the slash he had already made and pushed. "Please, get it out." I begged. He pushed harder and my previous begs were left to incoherent mumbles. 

"You're not making any sense, baby." He removed the knife. "You need to speak up." At the speak up he slashed his knife across my stomach, officially ruining my favorite shirt. The blood poured out of the freshly formed wound. It was uncomfortable, and hurt, obviously. Obviously it hurt, considering it had cut through skin and caused me to bleed. 

My mumbling and begging continued. He was going to far this time. I was starting to feel woozy, and if I could see I would probably be seeing black spots. "You died of a suicide. You felt that no one loved you even though I had spent so much time with you. That's why you had gone selectively mute." His voice held evil intent, malice I think is the word. I am unable to think straight. No, now is not the time for a gay joke. 

"One night, everything got to much. After cutting and crying for to long you stabbed yourself in the heart. Your boyfriend will greatly mourn your loss." He laughed maniacally and walked up in front of me. His footsteps weren't as light as normal so I could tell exactly where he was. 

"Goodbye, Baby." I felt a sharp pain in my chest then everything went black as I took my final breath. 

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Word Count: 1321

I wrote this on 9/21/2020 - 9/22/2020.