Senseless

Chapter Three

  With the funeral over I would finally be able to concentrate on the more pressing questions. Who did this? Why did they do this? I knew that there was something that was being missed...but what? I needed to find answers. A funeral wasn't closure enough. 

  For the first time since Emily had gone missing I looked at myself, studied myself. The toll it had taken on me was shocking. My skin, normally tan and healthy looking, was dull and sallow. The dark circles under my green eyes enhanced by how sunken in and lifeless my eyes looked. My hair, while brushed, looked flat and almost as dull as my skin. It was normally a light golden brown, now it was mousey. I was thankful that I kept it shoulder length, had it been any longer it would appear to drag me down further. My pajamas hung off of my slender frame. When was my last real meal? 

  I sighed as I turned away from my reflection. No wonder I got so many stares and heard so many whispers. I'd never been vain but never really lacked confidence in myself either. Until now.
"Em wouldn't want me like this." I whispered to myself. Our relationship hadn't been perfect, of course, but we always looked out for each other. We didn't have secrets...or did we? I sighed again. I'd made a lot of mistakes in my life but Emily made my life perfect, complete. Did I let her down too? If I hadn't allowed my pride to get in the way would things be different now? 

  I had Emily when I was seventeen. My boyfriend, at the time, was talking about getting married right out of high school. We had our lives figured out. He was going to be a football star, complete with a full ride scholarship. I snorted and rolled my eyes at the memory of that. We were so young, so dumb, so naive. As soon as he found out he panicked and backpeddled, so much for having everything figured out. 

  My parents, rightfully so, were livid. They demanded so many things, tried to make decisions for me and my unborn child. They had raised a headstrong, independent, daughter of their own, a force to be reckoned with. Once they decided that I would be shipped off to Aunt Gertrude, of whom I didn't know, until the baby was born and then put up for adoption, I knew I had to escape. 

  It was the hardest time of my life. I came to this town, applied for every job I could find, and quickly felt more at home than I ever had before. I got a job working at one of the diners in town, so nice because I got a free meal every shift. I used up all of the savings I had to pay for a long term hotel room. My boss quickly discovered my situation and, even though I didn't know at the time, watched out for me. Even reaching out to my parents weekly with updates. I don't know how but she convinced them that if they pushed the matter I would be gone again, this time without a trace.

  After I had Emily, I didn't know what to do. Just as I thought I would have to prove my parents right Ms. Avalon, my boss, told me her daughter was looking for a babysitting job. It was also then that she told me about a small studio that was for rent. I had saved up just enough to afford it! The rest is history. It took a lot of hard work and discipline but Emily made every second worth it.

  It was time to get myself into gear and get answers. I hadn't let my past drag me down and I wasn't about to start letting it now. After a quick shower, I made myself as presentable as possible. It was time for answers. It was time for justice.

  Keys in hand I stepped out into the world I had shunned. The cheery sound of birds chirping, the warm sun on my skin, and the butterflies flitting around were such a stark contrast to the sadness I felt in my heart. I paused as I took it all in, surveying my surroundings. It all felt like a betrayal of sorts, as if the universe didn't yet realize what had been taken away from it. 

  I looked towards Martha's house and saw her peering at me from behind her blinds. Disgusted, I quickly walked to my car and got in. I tossed my purse into the passenger seat and was surprised by the thud I heard. I looked over and saw a beautifully wrapped box. 

  How had it gotten in my car? It wasn't there when I had driven home from the cemetery yesterday. As dark and gloomy as it had been, as distraught as I was, I knew there was no way I could have missed it. My car was locked, so there was no way it could have been placed there after the service. Maybe it had been there after all.

  The embossed silver paper glinting in the sunlight was inviting. The large silver mesh bow was tied perfectly. I noticed a card tucked under the bow. Lilly, written in careful calligraphy, the only word on the front. I decided to look at the card, after all, what if I ran into the person in town? 

  It was sealed with a deep red wax. The stamp used was that of a dove. I didn't know people still used wax to seal envelopes. It was a very dignified touch and I found myself smiling at the thought put into this. I cautiously opened the envelope so I didn't ruin the wax. Inside was a card printed with the words "Sorry for your loss" overlayed on a tranquil landscape.

  A gasp escaped me as I opened the card and saw what was inside. Crudely cut out letters formed the message, "It's your fault she's dead" I looked over at the box, no longer entranced by its beauty. It now seemed to be mocking me. A sense of dread filled me as I looked around, expecting to see someone. The only person I could see was Martha the busy body, standing on her porch looking at me, on the phone as usual.

  The gift called to me, begging me to open it. The sun, no longer warming my goosebumped skin, glinted off the package as I pulled it onto my lap. Piece by piece I tore away the paper, revealing a normal gift box. I took off the lid, feeling apprehensive as I slowly lifted the tissue paper.

  A horrified scream escaped my lips as I recognized what was contained in the box. Inside were Emily's favorite pajamas, well worn, the ones she was wearing the night she went missing.