Senseless

Chapter Five

  With thoughts swirling in my head I pulled up to the police station. Why were there so many unanswered questions lately? I had never been one to take "no" for an answer before. I was always a big picture person, even in adolescence, always wanting one more piece to the puzzle. That was one of the reasons I was single, at least in these later years. I sighed heavily as I prepared myself to use this as a strength. 

  Walking into the station I was surprised by the bustle inside. Our town didn't seem like the type that would require much in the way of police work. Still taken aback, I walked up to the busy reception desk. The young woman was on the phone. Smiling her best customer service smile she covered the mouthpiece and mouthed, "just a moment" while holding up one finger. 

  The nameplate read Jennifer Clark. As I observed her I couldn't shake the feeling like I knew who she was. Light freckles sprinkled her face, auburn hair and blue eyes, she was strikingly beautiful. Her nose was slightly upturned, slightly crooked. I watched as she leaned down to grab the pen she had dropped, revealing the pale birthmark on her neck. 

  It came to me suddenly and I smiled faintly at how grown up she was. She had worked at the diner for a summer when she turned sixteen. She was four years younger than me and I had taken her under my wing. Back then she was just Jenny, sweet and naive. She was exceptional with the customers and everyone loved her bubbly personality. However, she also had two left feet, and we lost more dishes that summer than in the three years prior of me working there. It was good to see that she had found a job much better suited for her.

  "Lilly Hayes! Is that really you?!" she exclaimed, hanging up the phone and coming around the desk for a hug. "It's been years since I've seen you!" She hadn't changed a bit. I smiled and welcomed the warm embrace, not realizing how badly I needed it. Holding on a bit longer than I should, trying not to cry, I felt some of the stress melt away. 

  "Lilly? What's wrong? Are you okay?" she gasped. I didn't realize how hard I was holding onto her, grounding myself.

  "I need to speak to the Chief. I need answers about Emily's case." The words were so painful, so harsh, and the stress came creeping back. 

  Jenny gasped, the horror written all over her pretty face. "That was your Emily?!" she exclaimed, horrified. "Oh Lilly! I am so terribly sorry! I didn't know!" 

  There it was...the pity I had grown so accustomed to seeing. The pity I had come to despise. Never before had I known that "I don't know what to say or how to act" had a face. The awkwardness almost a slap in the face. Seeing this on Jenny's filled me with determination. 

  "Yes, that was my Emily," I said, looking straight into her eyes, "and I'm not getting the answers I need. I need you to allow me to talk to the Chief or I'll have to take matters into my own hands." The visible gulp was exactly the result I was hoping for. 

  "I, I, I can't just let you go back there," she stammered, " you have to have an appointment and even then he's a very busy man!" Fear filled her eyes as I grabbed the planner off her desk, writing my name across the page. 

  "There," I smiled smugly, "it looks like I do have an appointment." 

  Gulping again she picked up the phone, dialed an extension, and said the magic words, "Sir? Your ten-o-clock is here."  

  Head held high I strode into the chief's office, softly closing the door behind me. "Hello Walt..." I said, pausing. The look on his stupid face further fueling my need for answers. 

  "Lilly, it's Chief Steele." he said gruffly. "I know you didn't have an appointment...so why are you here?" 

  I couldn't believe the audacity behind his question. Why was I here?! I could feel my face flush with anger, this wasn't going to go well at all. "Excuse me?! Why the hell do you think I'm here?! My daughter is DEAD and you're not even investigating!" I shouted, "You've avoided my calls, haven't answered any questions, and even worse haven't found her murderer!" I hated myself in that moment, hated the tears I felt pooling in my eyes, blurring my vision.

  "Ms. Hayes I don't take kindly to you insinuating that me, or my team, are not doing our jobs. We are investigating but there is almost zero evidence." His calmness infuriating, even with my allegations he was a stone wall. "I am a very busy man, I can't simply answer your multitude of phone calls. As for not answering your questions...well, frankly you won't like my answers. Is that all?" 

  "No, it most definitely is not all!" I exclaimed, "it's not up to you to decide what I will and will not like! Answer my questions!" 

  "Fine. This is the one, and only, time I'll allow you to talk to me like that...understand?" This was the first time, in sixteen years of knowing him, that I'd seen his tough exterior crack slightly.
  He was nearing sixty, the years worn into every deep wrinkle on his face. He was a large man, one that I had always found comfort in, much like a teddy bear and grandfather rolled into one. I had seen pictures of him in his younger days, his bulk mostly muscle, intimidating to anyone who dared to break the law. Today, however, all I could see was a grizzled veteran, hardened by the job. I saw the cranky old man, after what had to be close to forty years as a cop, who had lost his humanity.

Pulling a sheet of paper from the top drawer of his desk he began again, "This should go quickly. First, there are no new leads. Second, we have interviewed all of her friends, teachers, etc. and nobody is talking. Thirdly," he said whiskey brown eyes peering at me over his reading glasses, "we suspect that she got mixed up with the wrong people, quite possibly drugs."

  "There is absolutely no way that Emily would have fallen into that!" I interjected, appalled at the very thought, "I would have known if she was! We were extremely close! We didn't have secrets!" 

  "Ms. Hayes...you certainly can't be that naive. She was a sixteen year old girl, all children that age have secrets. If you want me to keep going I'll not allow you to interrupt again." The gruffness in his voice astounded me. He sounded so heartless.

   Everyone in town knew how close Emily and I had been. We were always glued at the hip. Having her so young allowed us to grow up together it seemed. Emily wasn't perfect, of course, but she was a good kid. Her only real flaws being her messiness, which she got from me, her always having her nose in a book, to the point of her being so far in her own world she missed things, and her ability to always run late. It had always been me and Emily against the world. We were the only constants in each other's lives.

  "Your fourth question refers to evidence found, which I believe I made clear, there isn't anything. Other than the several locations she was located this seems very erratic. However, it was clearly not the first time the perpetrator had done this." He glanced at me over his glasses again. "Fifth, you already know the details of how she was killed. I don't feel that discussing it further will give you any more insight. Sixth, you wanted to know if we had any suspects," he paused slightly, worrying me with his silence, "To be frank, no we do not.. We do, however, also suspect that she was potentially running away, maybe to meet with a boyfriend, and a drifter found her first. We can't imagine anyone in town being responsible for this...especially with no evidence. Maybe she got tired of small town life." He shrugged, causing my blood to boil. He had warned me not to interrupt but I couldn't sit idly by and listen to this.

  "Emily did not run away!" I yelled, completely losing my cool, "She loved this town more than anything! There was no secret boyfriend, no drugs, no lies! How dare you?! If she had been older you'd be treating this case much differently!" 

  Chief Steele stood silently, coming around his desk. Unsure what he was doing I awkwardly stood as well. He passed by, not even looking at me, and opened his door. Motioning for me to leave he finally spoke, calmly, evenly, "Ms. Hayes it would serve you well to remember that you came to us as a runaway."