Second Year

the cut that always bleeds

9.

The Cut That Always Bleeds

Kiss the bruises 'til they're gone
Bittersweet, 'cause I can't breathe

💜

Third person

The sisters sit in the car, none of them speaking as the radio plays music from the joint playlist that Sam has with Alex and Tyler consisting of anything from Stray Kids to Radiohead. After about 40 minutes of driving, Sam gets nowhere with Skye and getting something out of her, before deciding to get the two a drive thru in Supermacs. Sam has known their whole life that the secret to getting anything out of Skye is the delight of the best sausages in the country, bland chips and the best cookies money could buy.

When they pull up to the drive thru, Skye laughs slightly. "You know me."

"Well, I'd want to, I've known you for 17 years.", Sam replies with a smile, before ordering their food.

When they had their food less than 5 minutes later, they parked up, and after they had their food on their laps and the drinks in the cup holders, Sam wasted no time in saying, "So, what's up with Her?"

Skye stops her actions as she brings a chip to her mouth, finally sighing and beginning to speak. "When all that went down in first year, we all know I wasn't doing well, and I locked myself in my room all the time. The father called them the glory days, remember?"

"The glory days with you because he didn't have to father you, the horror days with me because I came out?"

"Yep, basically, he's such a prick. But yeah, all that happened, and basically when I locked everyone out, She came in then. She would just say everything terrible I was thinking about myself and just everything, and She'd tell me to do stuff. It was like the bullies came home with me, but they were in my head now. That was how the cutting started. She was terrible, but She was all I had. She's never left, She just quietened down for a while, up until this summer. Let me tell you, She came back with a vengeance. But it's somehow scarier now, since She was feeding off of my loneliness then, but now She's feeding off of my trauma and weakness, probably even some other shit. But what can I do? She has complete control over me, even when I'm sleeping. She leaves me alone for a while when I hurt myself, but I don't know what to do to get Her away for good. I don't think I want to know."

Sam catches on to what she is implying, and it's as if the blood rushing through her body has turned stone cold, as if it was the same temperature as the large cup of Sprite full of ice in her hands. 

"Well, you're still going to therapy, right?" Skye looks away from her sister, awkwardly scratching her neck. "Skye!"

"She started coming back when I started going there. I just didn't want to waste the therapists time when I could only listen to Her and not him. Like, what's the point?"

"What do you mean, Skye?"

Skye shrugs. "I've always felt weird about going to therapy, and She knows that. I feel like a fool for ever going there."

"So, all this with Her has been going on since around the New Year?"

"Pretty much, yeah. Only intensified by what happened. Fuck, She loved that."