Part I: The Alchemy of Anxiety

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Take the brightest cole

and shove it 

down my throat,

pain is fruitful.

Crush my skull with the songs

that project depression as colorful.

How pitiful,

crisp coins weigh

your pockets down like 

a southern drawl.

Same beat and unfaithful lyrics,

make others fall into

this black hole. 



I feel sorry for you,

really I do;

bask in the glory

while you call me baby.

Petty,

sing for me like a dying 

bird that's in

the middle of a bourbon gallery.

You're so ordinary

when dairy blinds you

in illusions of territory.

Bad play,

the main character

is suffocated free by ugly chains 

that are pretty.



Such an old tale

of mold and gold

that doesn't seem

to unfold.

My hands tremble,

you feel it,

you feel it;

you're being controlled.

My hands put

pressure on your ice-cold head;

my heart is resold.

Eyes,

eyes always on you,

lend me your fear;

nerves and hurt are pulled. 



The wind of the mountains

contrast with my skin,

hear the song of the siren.

It's hot,

it's cold,

it's open,

it's closed,

it's common;

do you feel the pattern?

Transform that sudden change,

once a curtain now a broken lesson.

That same person sees

your veins pooping and only pens down:

"Be a captain..."

How can I be one 

when the seas

of uncertain motion have

left me in a fraction?



Pills can only do so much,

I'm down on the floor

like a mouse, you

only tell me to hush.

Depression, make me blush;

tears are the only

soft touch I taste

as lush!

I'm not in control,

that's why I'm lost with no touch;

My kin, keep walking with your elegant such.

Our path is closing in,

no it's not,

it's better to be lost 

than humanly crushed. 



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