Scarlett

Chapter 21: Something called love

The way that I felt at the exact moment was beyond what any word could explain. Yes, I was delighted and ecstatic but I was also overwhelmed and a little bit frightened. Tears of happiness emerged and they rolled down from my eyes and very likely spoiled my mascara but I did not care. I did not care because I watched the man in front of me look into my eyes and sing for me in front of an entire crowd. I could hardly blink my eyes when I watched Mark look at me so intently, the way he did. 

The crowd cheered in appreciation when the song came to an end and Mark thanked everyone before he walked out of the stage and towards me. At the moment that he reached up to me, he held my face in between his hands and pulled me into a passionate kiss. Our lips moved together in harmony as I felt a foreign sensation within my body. I felt pressure build up within me, somewhere deep down. I felt his fire burn me with passion when I kissed him. I melted away in his arms as I wanted him to hold on to me. He pressed his body slightly against mine and I felt the desire and want that he possessed. I held his face with both of my hands and deepened the kiss. I heard a crowd of people who cheered for us in the background and I was sure that Mark had heard it too. We pulled away from each other and looked around us in surprise. Everyone in the club clapped for us in support and I tried to hide my face in embarrassment.

Soon, Mark and I escaped the maddening crowd and hastily drove towards home. Dad was still at the club and we knew that he would return home late. He never noticed time when he was amidst alcohol. Mark and I would be alone at home. I suddenly felt conscious of my own self. The thought made me feel an intense rush from within. I did not know what Mark had in mind. I did not know about his intentions. I recalled our kiss at the club and the way my body melted against his touch. His eyes had revealed that he desired me and the kiss confirmed it. My thoughts melted away as soon as I realised that we drove by the Cheshire lake.

"Stop, stop, stop. The lake is here. Stop the car, Mark." I almost jumped in my seat and asked Mark to stop the car.

"At this time?" He asked, with confusion clear in his voice while he parked the car by the road.

"Yes, at this time. There is never a specific time to visit a lake. Come on, get out of the car." I told him and hopped out of the car. Mark followed.

We sat by the lake and watched it shimmer under the moonlight. The ripples in the water formed a beautiful shape. The leaves from the surrounding trees rustled and I heard an owl hoot. It was the most beautiful night. I watched Mark sit by the river, next to me. He did not look at me, his eyes remained fixed on the water in front. He had the most beautiful pair of blue eyes that had so much to tell. They were expressive looked delighted as if wanting someone to notice them. His dark blonde curls looked soft and I noticed that he often licked his pink lips, perhaps a habit he occupied when in deep thought. I then noticed that he was humming a tune, so soft that it was hardly inaudible. He had a sense of gentleness in his voice. I realised that he was humming to 'Hero' by Enrique Iglesias. It was one of my favourites.

Finally, he averted his gaze at me, watching me with intense longing. I could not decipher his thoughts or what his bright eyes wanted to say. He touched my right hand and held it as our fingers entwined. His grip on my hand was gentle yet firm and it felt right. His smooth olive skin felt strong to hold. He inched slightly closer and offered his hand around my shoulder. He was comfortable, and it felt right. I could smell his cologne, the familiar musk and woods. He smelt heavenly, like fresh grass in Paradise. I looked up and our eyes met. I inched closer and gave a soft peck on his pink lips. His honey like sweat buds dripped and the kiss left a sweet after taste on my delicate lips.

It felt like a Deja Vu for some reason.

"You know, I once had a dream about us." I told him.

"And what did you see?" He smiled.

"I watched us sit by the lake, just like this, relaxing in each others arms."

"And what else did we do in your dream?" Mark smirked.

"We kissed." I told him and pulled him towards me for another long and passionate kiss. Mark pulled away briefly and then he slowly made his way towards my neck. He nibbled softly on the sensitive skin and I felt a tingling sensation run through my body.

"Today has been the best day of my life." I confessed after we had pulled apart.

"Me too, Scar. Me too." He smiled.

"You know, I have a question." I told him.

"And what would that be?"

"Why did we fight?"

"Ahh. I knew that was coming." He chuckled. "To be honest, I did not know it at first. I was just bothered by the fact that you were too close to Steve. I had begun to realise that I wanted you all by myself. You were mine." He looked at me in the eye when he said that to me and I gulped nervously.

"But what changed your mind today?"

"I found Steve making out with the bar tender."

"That was David. Steve's boyfriend." I told him.

"Right. I could guess." Mark nodded, "I would have confessed my true feelings for you a lot sooner had I known the truth about Steve."

"You did not even listen to me when I tried to talk to you." I sneered.

"I know and I am so sorry for that." Mark apologised. 

"I would have also expressed my feelings to you, had I not known that you had a girlfriend." I told him.

"What? You know, Jen and I were never actually in a proper or a stable relationship. We had always been on and off. She cheated and broke my heart. I wanted to get away from her but I could not, something always stopped me."

"So you both were together?"

"We were. But our relationship was more of the physical kind than emotional. Friends with benefits kind of a thing."

"Ohh." It was all that I could say. I felt a pang of jealousy rise within me at the thought of another woman with Mark. The thought made me feel uncomfortable and broken.

"She broke my heart and even tried to break me forever, until I met you." Mark's confession built up my lost confidence.

"You are important to me Mark, I want you to know that. You are the reason that I want to live. Sometimes when I feel like giving, I think of you and I feel a lot better." I revealed to him.

"I am glad that you feel that way. You inspire me Scar, everyday." He smiled at me. It was perhaps his smile that I had missed the most in the past few days when we had maintained our distance. He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me close to his chest. His body radiated warmth and I drowned into it.

"Thank you Mark, for everything." I began to sob.

"What happened, Scar?" Concern washed over his face and he held my face close to him. He looked into my eyes in search of the source of pain that had brought the tears.

"I don't want to hurt you Mark. Believe me, I don't...I love you Mark. But sometimes I wonder if I deserve happiness. I want to listen to you and give life a chance. I want to enjoy life more and think about myself and say yes to things but there is still a part of me which thinks that it is not worth the try because in the end, I would only die." I explained in a rush.  

I shared my dwindling thoughts with him and he told me, "Everyone will die in the end but life is worth a try, always. You matter more than you realise." The words touched me deeply. The line caught my attention more than I wanted it to. The more I thought about it, I greater I realised that I was lucky to get even the smallest chance to live. My desire to live grew stronger.

After some time, we drove back home. Dad had still not returned. Both of us retired together to my room. Both of us were tired and we spent the rest of our night glued to each other, and slept in each other's arms with a smile spread across our faces.