demons || luke hemmings/discontinued

|chapter 25|

Spencer ||

I woke up that day with drooping eyes and a pounding head. The night before was full of tossing and turning and too much thinking. I couldn't seem to take my mind off of the fighting, my mom and Luke, leaving me with a restless night. It's been awhile since I had one of these, and I did not miss them.

I slowly made my way out of bed and slumped across the hall into the bathroom. I looked in the mirror, not met with the once cheerful and in love girl, but instead met with black bags underneath my eyes matched with a pale face. And I didn't recognize her at all.

I hopped into the shower hoping that some of the tension would stop once the hot water hit me, and to my luck, nothing. I still felt like someone cut a gaping hole in the middle of my chest and just left it there. But I was too numb to feel it.

My body ached and my stomach growled pleading for food, yet it became nauseous at the sight of food.

And you would think I'm doing all of this over Luke, but you're wrong. Yes, partially, but what's actually making me like this is the fear of loving.

It looked like such an easy thing, you find someone who can make you laugh, can relate to you and except your flaws, but that can all change in the matter of seconds. And that's what I'm afraid of. I've always liked the thought of love and craved to feel that way, but now it's not the same.

I also thrived to be an independent women, unlike my mother. I don't want any man to think they can get what they want when it came to me. But ever since Luke, all of this vanished.

I really really like, Luke, I might even love him. But the thought of that makes me sick. How can I love someone that I've only known for like a month now? It made no sense and there was no way in hell Luke felt the same, I wouldn't blame him.

I just need time to myself, to get back to me.

-

I got out of the shower and dressed myself in just a t shirt and jeans. Finishing it off with a jacket for the cold weather. I put in some simple make up and headed down stairs. I prayed that I wouldn't run into my mom, I didn't want to talk to her right now. And I knew if I did I know my 'spying' incident would slip out of my mouth.

I rushed down the stairs and grabbed my to go cup filling it with coffee. I rushed out the door and onto the sidewalk to start walking to school.

I was going to call Ashton, but one; he always gives me rides and two; I knew he would ask me how I was doing and I would have to lie and I am not a good liar.

So I decided to walk to school for the first time in awhile. But it wasn't that far of a walk. I was glad I was out in cool autumn air, it gave me time to think and be alone with no sounds but car passing and birds flying from tree to tree.

But that time was cut short when a familiar silver jeep pulled up next to me.

"Spencer!" Luke says out the passenger window.

"L-Luke? What are you doing." I stuttered, slightly from shivering but mostly from the aching in my heart came back.

He worse his usual all black outfit but with a little twist this time. On the top of his head he wore a maroon snapback pushing back his golden hair. I was lost in him, but soon broke out of it remembering last night.

"Why are you walking? You could of asked me for a ride." He says.

"Oh i know, I just wanted to walk this morning that's all." I slowly say, still shivering.

"Spencer, you are shivering." Luke says, "c'mon, I'll give you a ride."

"No I'm fine, its not that much long." I lie through my chattering teeth.

"I am not leaving until you are in the car with me." Luke smirks patting the seat.

"It's fin-"

"Just get in the damn car." Luke says with a more serious tone, making me give up and open the door.

I get in and Luke drives off onto the road once again. The car was silent, not the comfortable silence we usually share, but instead an awkward silence.

I didn't want to be in the car with Luke as I was "needing time to myself". My stomach was in knots, wanting this car ride to be over.

"Are you sick or something?" Luke dragged me out of my thoughts.

"No." I say quickly looking at my fingers.

"Well, are you okay? You usually are cheerful in the mornings, and you haven't said one thing to me." Luke says placing his hand on my knee.

My heart races at the sympathetic touch. I get a huge lump in my throat making it hard to swallow.

"No, I'm fine." I say looking out the window, seeing that we are thankfully pulling into the school.

Luke takes his hand off of my knee and looks around for a parking spot. He successfully finds one, pulling in and parking his car. The engine turns off and Luke takes his keys out of the ignition.

The car fills with the awkward silence like before. We sit there for awhile until Luke breaks the silence.

"Did I do something?" Luke asks with concern in his voice and a worried look in his eye.

"No, Luke, nothing is wrong." I say wanting the conversation to be over.

"Well, why are acting like this then?" Luke says raising his voice a little, annoyed at my actions, "if I did something wrong just tell-"

"You did nothing, I'm fine!" I finally snap, "thanks for the ride." I say forcefully unbuckling my seatbelt and opening the door.

I stormed up the stairs and into school. I heard footsteps close behind me.

"Spencer!" Luke yelled from behind me, but I kept walking.

I was stopped by a soft grip on my wrist. Luke turned me around to face him.

"I'm sorry for raising my voice at you, you were just being frustrating and I just don't like seeing you upset." Luke explains.

"Well nothing is wrong, just let it go, Luke."

"Why are you acting this way?!"

"Why do even care?!" I snap right back, earning looks from on goers.

"Why wouldn't I, Spencer?! What did I do?" Luke says with a sad look in his eye, making my heart ache turn into a heart break.
((lol that's some basic shit))

My eyes start to well up with tears, I didn't want to be doing this to him, but I can't end like my mom. I know he would never do that ever again, but it's just scary.

"I'm sorry, Luke." I say taking my wrist from his grasp and turn away quickly before he can see the tears escape my eyes.

****
Spencer is a little shit sometimes, can she not see she changed Luke????

HEY GUYS. So I'm sorry for being a lil punk and not updating quicker, but school has been kicking my ass lately. I try my best, but just while school is in I think I update within 2-3 days, so hopefully that's ok.

I'll try harder to not do that though!

I was having a maaajor writers block BUT my sister helped and we got this, so I hope you enjoy!

ALSO WE FREAKING REACHED 1.13K THATS INSANE YOU ALL RULE AND THANK FOR STICKING WITH ME THROUGH MY HORRID WRITING!

I LOVE YOU, SAY YOU LOVE ME

anyway, you can see I left a comment, that's basically me encouraging you to do the same :-) in a lame way.

Oh and ps the picture at the top is my feelings towards Spencer rn xxxxx