Secrets on Melody Street (Jenlisa)

11

March ~ approximately 4 months later

I've been running for so long that I can't even feel my legs anymore. The hurried wind as it rushes past my ear and whips through my hair is all I can pay attention to, aside from the fact I know I must keep going as fast as possible.

I can feel her warmth surrounding me, I can hear her voice coaxing me to safety.

Almost there Lili, just a couple minutes more. You're doing so well.

Her encouragement inspires me.

Although the road stretches on for miles, my body glides over the tarmac like it's easy. Effortless. I'm practically floating towards my destination.

A destination that never seems to arrive.

I can feel a weight in my right hand slowing me down and when I look over I see Luca, holding onto my hand for dear life. His mouth is moving and I can't hear what he's saying but I can tell he's screaming for me. Screaming for his Mother. The sight of him only spurs me on to move quicker. The sooner we reach the singing voice at the end, the sooner we'll be at peace.

Peace, however, never came.

It felt like a gunshot straight to my chest. It knocked everything out of me with a force so strong we went flying through the air.

Weightless.

I landed in strong arms and he cradled me. He cradled Luca. He promised us that we'd be safe forever as he locked shackles on our wrists.

He stroked my hair, caressed my body and tended to my wounds, although now, I can never be truly healed.

Each time I cried out in longing for the arms of my true lover, he would make love to me in the night until the only words escaping from my lips were his name.

Even in my subconscious, I know my true duty.

And who I am bound to by oath.

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I leant over the toilet bowl and vomited violently into it, the same way I've done nearly every day for the last couple of months. I've been having that reoccurring nightmare for around the same time too.

The one where I'm running to safety but end up trapped.

I hate it.

I hate my life, my mind, my body...

My pregnancy.

I take that back. It's not the baby's fault, it's mine.

I made a commitment to something I wasn't completely ready for, and for that, one must pay the price.

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"I thought you said we'd have pancakes."

"Sorry Lulu baby, but the smell of mixture still makes Mommy feel sick, and we don't wanna eat pancakes with a side of puke, so this will have to do." I slid the bowl of cereal over to my son as I took slow sips of black coffee. Strong. No sugar. It's all I can stomach these days.

"Morning." He kissed me on the cheek before grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl. "I didn't hear you get up earlier."

"Yeah, morning sickness woke me and then I went for a light stroll to clear my head. The dawn air makes me feel better."

The weather's starting to improve now that we're leaving winter behind, so I'm making the most of it. I love to watch the spring daffodils blooming in peoples front yards and the sun rising in an amber sky. Plus, it's my birthday in March so evidently, it's clearly the best month.