Little Mercury

Hurting

The doctor leads them to the right room and left them to it. In the room, Ben wanted to go straight over to her but he stood back giving Freddie the time with his daughter first.

Freddie felt like he'd stepped back in time to the day she had that appendicitis, only this time she fills more of the bed. Her skin is still pale not the tan hue it usually is.

He couldn't stop his tears, like the doctor had said if the ambulance had been a few moments later this would be an entirely different scene. He took his daughter's hand in his and she stirs, "Dad?"

"I'm here sweetheart."

She tightens her grip around his hand. Her eye's flit around the room as she searches her brain for a memory of why she is here and then it hits her, "The baby?"

Freddie bit back his cry shaking his head and she got the message. Her tears reappear, "I tried to stop it but I... is it my fault did I do something wrong, is this payback for getting pregnant in the first place? Maybe Grandpa was right I am a disappointment."

"Never, Milly. Don't ever say that, your not a disappointment and this wasn't your fault," he couldn't wipe her tears away fast enough they stream down her face, "The doctor said it wasn't something you could have stopped it just happens."

"I called the baby a mistake that first day but I didn't mean it," She sat up slightly but Ben came to her other side to help calm her down, "Ben I'm so sorry. I love our baby and didn't want to lose it," They both try their hardest to calm her down but she gets more and more upset, "please bring it back," She finally snapped weeping in Freddie's arms.

Tears covered the faces of everyone else in the room, Freddie climbed on the bed next to her and she curled herself into him like she was just a little girl. He whispers comforting words into her ear running his fingers through her hair until she fell asleep from exhaustion.

He looks up at Veronica once she is asleep but doesn't let Amelia go, "How do we help her Ronnie? I'm stuck this time I don't know how to help her?" He's seen a lot in his life so far but this is an entirely different ball game, he would do anything to take her pain away.

Veronica wipes her tears away it kills her to see Amelia this way she usually such a bright happy girl, "We just have to give her time to grieve. Your already helping her by letting her cry it out and letting her know it's not her fault. It's going to take time some people might not see it this way but she has just lost her child and so have you, Ben, so don't be afraid to grieve."

Ben doesn't blame Amelia it wasn't her fault but like her, he loved that baby too and was ready to be a dad no matter how hard it was, "I won't move into Garden Lodge if that's okay? It's doesn't feel right now."

Still holding his daughter Freddie nods, "I understand that but your welcome there anytime. Jim, darling, could I ask you to go home and make sure that the nursery door is lock before Amelia comes home?"

Jim had stood quietly in the corner until now, shedding his own tears, "I'll go back with Roger when he drops the spare clothes off."

"I'd better go too, I need to make sure Laura is okay. Do you want a lift home, Ben?" Veronica knew Freddie just wants to be alone with Amelia. Ben takes her offer and once Roger returns with the bags he takes Jim home leaving Freddie with his daughter.

Freddie washed the blood away binning the clothes he was wearing, they were ruined anyway. At his request, a nurse brought a bowl of warm water and a clean cloth and he wipes away the last of the blood still on Amelia. The nurses had done a good job cleaning her up down there but they hadn't done her hands.

Stirring again later that evening Amelia looks to her side find her dad asleep in the chair next to her. She feels better for letting her tears out but she still felt sad and dazed, "Dad," she calls and like earlier that day she tightens the grip around her dad's hand.