Only Sway Girl

Forty-Two

2 Months later

Jessica's POV:

I'm so numb

I've lost myself

I just sit in my room all day, I haven't posted in a month, I havent eaten anything in three days now, and I havent talked to anyone.

Josh and Jaden left the sway house and now have their own house.

Josh also got back together with Nessa which isn't surprising.

It seems like Josh was my only happiness, like I need him.

He was the only thing keeping me alive, and now he's gone.

Bryce, Kio and Anthony and the girls come over and try to get me out of bed. But it never works. Nick hasn't called me, he got a girlfriend so thats probably why.

Josh's POV:

I dont know what i'm doing anymore. I got with Ness again, I dont know why though. She's grown so toxic, she doesnt even let me leave the house without knowing where i'm going.

Jess hasn't posted in a month and Jaden says she hasn't gotten out of bed or eaten anything. I haven't seen her, mostly because she probably doesnt want to see me. But today, me and Bryce are talking about moving again, and today we're meeting at sway.

Jessica's POV:

I've been crying for the last hour, nothing new except I heard someone downstairs, someone who I haven't heard in so long. There's a knock on my door, so I quickly wipe my tears, put on a fake smile and open the door.

"Hey"

"Hi"

"I just wanted to let you know Josh is downstairs if you don't want to see him" Bryce tells me. "I know i can hear his voice" I say. "Okay, call me if you need anything okay?" He says before leaving. I nod and walk back inside.

Like he would care

I walked downstairs, I was wearing a hoodie and sweats, it was comfortable. I headed towards the kitchen and opened the fridge. "Are you hungry I can make you something" Kio asks rushing towards me. "No, i'm good just grabbing a water" I say getting a water bottle. "Jess are you sure, please let me make you something" Kio asks. "I'm good seriously" I say closing the fridge and walking pass him. I hear him sigh, but i still keep walking. "Jess" I hear Josh say. I turn around and see Josh walking up to me.

"Hey" He says quietly.

"Hi" I mumble

"How are you" He asks wanting to make a conversation.

"I'm fine, how are you and Nessa" I ask. Everyone is looking at us now,

"um, she's okay" He says awkwardly.

"Good" I say before turning around and walking away.

I didn't want him to see the tears that were forming in my eyes.

I miss him so much

I decide to go live on Tik Tok, just to apologize for not posting.

I put on some makeup and change my clothes.

@JessicaHeart is live! Join now

"Hey guys" I say as more and more people come onto the live.

@User: I thought you were dead

@User: Did you actually try to commit

@User: Dude where were you

@User: I love you

"Hey, sorry for not posting; i've just been in a bad state lately"

@NessaBarrett: kys love

@User: PLEASE SAY "HI KAYLA"

@User: whats up with Nessa

"Anyways, just wanted to see how ya'll are doing" I say smiling.

@User: how are YOU love, you look like you were crying

@Joshrichards: Can we talk

@JoshandNessa4ever: EW why would Josh ever date you. Your so fucking ugly

@User: Wait they broke up? I though Josh and Nessa became friends again and Jess was ok with it

"'Can we talk', no josh I dont wanna talk right now... 'ew why would Josh ever date you your so fucking ugly', I honestly dont know why Josh would date me, you should ask him. 'Wait they broke up i thought Josh and Nessa became friends again and Jess was ok with it' Um no, me and Josh broke up. He is in fact dating Nessa".

"Okay we'll, just wanted to say i'm sorry for not posting and sorry for letting you guys down. But thank you to the ones who always supported me. I love all of you" I say smiling and ending the live.

Should have said goodbye, todays the day

New tweet!

Jessica|@JessicaHeart

Hey loves, sorry for not posting as much as I used to

I probably wont be posting as much tho,

So i'm sorry, may be taking a break, I love you all

|

User| @User

@JessicaHeart Honestly no one cares

|

User|@User

@JessicaHeart BBY take as long as you need

Here I am, back to square one.

I absolutely hate myself

I feel alone

I am alone

I'm so tired of fighting

I'm so done

I'm done

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Just a filler, but also not really, just one chapter left loves. Thank you guys so much for reading.

Word count: 788