And then there was light

Night Sky

The night is still young when Nate and I finish up with our work. I decide to walk in the park for some time. Walking helps me think about everything in my life a little clearer. I can feel free to express my emotions without anyone questioning it because no one would see in the first place.

My dad and I used to walk like this and talk about anything and everything in the world. Now that he is gone, it's been kind of lonely. I don't really like to talk about it, mostly because I just don't know what to say. Sometimes, I even blame myself. I am the one who forced him to quit that job of his that's keeping him so busy and stressed to the point he couldn't even treat his family like a family. He treated us like we were some customers coming to him with some or the other issue. Eventually, he gave it up and started working at a small IT job that was, at first, everything he needed and wanted. However, at some point, it was just not enough. Dad took it into his own hands and decided it would be a good idea to steal from a bank one night. It just so happened to be the same night another group of robbers were planning to get some money from the bank illegally. This caused there to be a massive shooting in which many people lost their lives, including my dad. That faithful night was almost a year ago.

I have stopped walking now, my legs are trembling and wet tears are streaming down my face. I drag my legs to the nearest bench and look up at the night sky. It is so peaceful up there, so serene. It's like the earth is in chaos and on the verge of destruction, and the sky is looking down at it with disappointed, but hopeful eyes.

I wipe my tears and and head back to my dorm. Once I am in my room, I decide to call my brother. He probably just came back from work so I text him instead.

*Hey*

*Hey little sis. What's up?*

*Nothin much. Wbu?*

*Oh u know, the usual. Yelling at Fred for not doing what he's asking to do, teaching Bob how not to puke before we do a chemical experiment, and the grand finale of coming home to a bunch of little clowns whom which I love.* I laugh at his choice of names and words.

*Oh so I see your job is going well, shouting at a bunch of people is definitely a good sign. Sounds familiar.*

*Hey, how are u holding up with that?* He's referring to our dad.

*I'm ok. I don't know what to think of it sometimes, but I guess no one really does.*

*Yea, I get that, just don't be too hard on yourself, ok? There is nothing you could have done to stop any of this, if anything you were trying to help him. Remember you are the one who told him to quit that job because it was stressing him out so much.*

*Yea I guess.* I smile remembering all those times when he would come home without that tired look in his eyes, and instead with happiness and energy coursing through him.

*Hey gtg. Need to feed the children. God I'm old.*

*K bye grandpa.*

I set my phone down and start getting ready for bed. It's already midnight and I have an early class tomorrow. I mentally slap myself for not realizing how late it was beforehand.

After brushing my teeth, I pull the covers off my bed, and sink into the cushion as I slowly enter the world of dreams and everything perfect.