It'll be our secret, Miss Abrams (GirlxGirl) [COMPLETED]

Eleven

I give her Jackson's address and she drives me there. I watch as the houses pass by through the window. I text my dad to remind him I'm sleeping at Jackson's.

"Why do you think you fainted?" she asks me and I shrug.

"Dehydration?" I offer and I see her glancing at me.

"Spencer..."

She shakes her head and we both know she didn't buy it. And as if to prove her point, my stomach grumbles.

"When was the last time you ate?"

"Just now. You were there with me, remember? Some crackers."

She shoves me lightly. "I mean it, Spencer. When was it?"

I bite the inside of my cheek. I hate lying and I'm bad at it, so she'll know anyway and keep pressing me. I sigh.

"Remember the cake?" she nods, waiting for me to keep going.

"What? That's it?" I nod and she looks at me when we stop at a red light. "Spencer, that was like, 24 hours ago!"

"Yep. I mean, I ate Jackson's leftovers at lunch, but that was my last proper meal."

"How?"

Oh well, I forgot that she could also get to the truth through talking about my eating habits. Gotta love having a mouth that goes faster than my brain.

"Uh... I woke up late today and I didn't have time to eat breakfast or pack lunch," I say. And it was the truth.

Well done, Spencer.

Diana glances as me from the corner of her eyes then nods. "Okay," then she gives me a weird smile that makes me think she's up to no good.

She pulls over after that and I see Jackson opening up his door with his mom behind him. I get out of the car and his hands are immediately on my shoulders, shaking me.

"Spencer! Are you okay? What happened?"

"I fainted. Please stop shaking me or I'll puke again." He stops shaking me, but his hands are still on my shoulders.

"That's what happens when you don't eat, you dumb..." he looks to his mom than back at me, "friend. Did your dad buy bread already?"

"I don't know, I had to run to get to school today, remember?"

He sighs. His mom's talking to Diana away from us, and she keeps stealing glances at me. I smile slightly at her before looking back at Jackson.

"Mom was freaking out. You know you're like her daughter from another woman."

I chuckle at that. "I just fainted because I've barely eaten in a day, no biggie."

"No biggie? Spencer, you have to eat!" he shakes me again then releases me. "Sorry."

Then Diana tells us goodbye and enters her car. Soon she's out of our sight.

"Come in, Spencer," Andrea says and we all come inside. I've been here so many times it's like my second home. "Now, I'm gonna make a lasagna and you better eat until you can't anymore, you hear me?"

I smile at her and she gives me a hug. "Yes, ma'am."

Jackson and I walk up to his room. I remember being so shocked when I discovered he was into computers and hacking shit. I have no idea how all that works, but I think Jackson sometimes gets paid to try and break into websites to see if they are secure or things like that.

He made me promise not to tell anyone because he doesn't want people thinking he's a nerd. Apparently, that'll totally mess up his carefully made relationships with the popular people in school.

I don't really care nor have someone to tell, so his secret is safe with me.

His desk is big and half of it is made of screens and the rest of what makes a computer. The other half is now full with sheets of paper and open textbooks.

"So, do you wanna shower first and then see if we can clean you jeans and then do homework, or do all that in another order?"

"We can try to clean my jeans first, then homework. I like to shower before bed."

"Okay." I leave my backpack in his room and we go down again to the laundry area. He gets a basin and we put water and soap in it before putting my jeans in.

I pray to the money gods to let me have my jeans.

To our surprise, it comes off. "I think it was gouache paint all along," I say.

"Thank God. You looked too good in those jeans for Amelie to destroy them."

I wash my jeans and Jackson keeps me company. We can hear his mom singing softly to herself in the kitchen.

I wonder if in another timeline this could be us in my house. Jackson and I, with my mom singing as she made dinner for us.

I push that away from my head. It's not good to think about this kind of thing. It won't change anything, and it'll only cause me pain.

We move to the dining table so both of us can do our homework at the same time. We work great together, focusing and then joking in between in a way that we actually get work done.

"Dad's travelling today, so it'll be only us for dinner," Jackson tells me. I like his dad, it's been some time since I last saw him, so that makes me kinda bummed.

"Jackson, set the table, please," Andrea tells him and me put our notebooks away to set the table.

We eat and make small conversation. She asks about my grades and I tell her about my 97 in Diana's quiz. She smiles at me like the proud mother she is and I feel the empty hole in my chest fill a bit.

Her lasagna was delicious and I stay true to my promise and eat until I physically can't anymore. It feels weird to be this full but I'm enjoying it.

Yesterday ended terribly with my dad, and today began even worse, with me being late then with Amelie bullying me and the thought she'd destroyed the pants I worked so hard to be able to afford.

I felt so broken, so empty, so worthless, but now I'm feeling... loved.

Don't get me wrong, deep down I still feel like that, but now I feel accepted, I feel like I matter, like I'm loved. And I love them back, so much. Andrea is the mom I could've had if it wasn't for the accident and Jackson is my best best-friend I could've ever asked for.

We clean the kitchen and I shower. I'm tired and I hope Jackson is too. I wash my hair and put on my pajamas then sit on his bed as he showers. I feel normal now. The weight I carry isn't weighing more than normal.

I lie and I look at the ceiling, waiting for him. I'll need to borrow some pants for tomorrow. Maybe I can ask for a thicker hoodie, too.

I fall asleep waiting for Jackson to get out of his shower and he pulls the duvet over us as he lies next to me.

"Good night, Spencer," he says softly before turning off the lights.