Protecting Her Lost Soul

Chapter 1

Time is the only thing that I'm certain of right now. Christmas is slowly creeping on us. It's been two weeks since the whole goodbye thing with Flynn and it has been. I don't need him like I used to, I'm still cold all the time but my heart is still pumping. Time is clearer now, I don't lose time so much. Nathan and I have watched another two films and Jesse and I have spent some time together. 
    I'm making time for my friends and family. I also got a part-time job to fit around my classes at the local ice rink. I don't need to but I want to start supporting myself. I don't want to be the spoilt rich kid. I look at my phone. 
   JESSE- You me, Nathan, Tristan, yours tonight? X 
   ME- Sure, I'm not at work tonight. Bring your own drinks. 
   I don't store any alcohol in my house to resist temptation not that I've been wanting it. I shower and get ready for uni. I grab my bag and leave the house. Flynn and Tyler are waiting for me as I lock my apartment. "So next week we will leave for Blowing Rock. Are you ready for Christmas Sis?" 
   "No, don't remind me. Two hours in the car, no thanks! I'm not going Ty, I can't be so far away from her not for two weeks." 
    "Don't start that shit again, you're coming. The kid can cope for a couple of weeks without you. We however can not." I sigh and look at Flynn. He hasn't seen her as much as me over the two weeks as I went on my own much to his annoyance. He hates me getting public transport but I don't want to have to rely on him. 
   He seems pained to leave her for too long too. We walk to the elevator, "But Ty, what if she needs me." 
   "She won't, think of Mom and Dad and Nana and Pop's they will be heart broken if you aren't there." I know okay? The home have agreed to let me have Miley for the weekend once a month. She hates it in there but she's grown up enough to accept the rules the home set for us. She knows I'm doing everything I can. 
    I haven't told anyone but I've got my Dad to start kinship proceedings. Well she's not my relative but she might as well be if we are keeping up the whole engagement thing. I want the courts to let me have custody of her until the adoption is complete. Dad is getting advice from a family law attorney to help speed things along. 
    We head to the car and I slide into the back. Tyler drives to the campus whilst we talk about the plan to go home next week. Once we reach campus I get out the car. I walk to my next class, "Bye then Sis!" Tyler calls. I don't bother looking back and I sit on the fountain wall in the courtyard before class. 
   I watch as people pass by. I've been getting this odd feeling like I'm being watched but I can't put my finger on it. I've been feeling that way for a few days. I scan the courtyard again and I see a figure looking right at me. A shiver runs down my spine and I feel sick. I hold my breath as I take in the features of the familiar looking guy. I look away for a second and when I look back he's gone. 
   I blink, did I imagine it? Am I going crazy now? I suck in a breath as the panic drains away. "Looks like you've seen a ghost Spanner," I flinch away from the voice and my heart is beating frantically.  He scared the shit out of me. I look at him and he's staring at me confused. 
    "I. . . I thought I had. Kind of," I shake my head. His blonde hair was messy and under a hood. His blue/green eyes were boring into me. I'd remember those eyes anywhere. His facial stubble was scruffy like he hadn't shaved in a while. Why am I starting to hallucinate him around me? Is it because I'm finally happy? Nathan grabs my shoulder and I jump out of my skin. I glance at him and look back at the alleyway were I thought I saw the ghost. What does this mean? 
    Nathan holds my elbow and lifts me to my feet. "Riley? What's wrong?" I cringe as I look at Nathan. 
   "Nothing, I just. . . I don't know." It wasn't real or it was someone that looked like him. James is dead. 
   "Shall I call your brother?" I shake my head but he pulls his phone out anyway. He didn't look like the James I remember this one looks rougher, dirtier. James was always well shaven and in smart clothes. I don't think I ever saw him in a hoodie. It had to be someone else besides, he's dead anyway. He was brain dead for fuck sake, I killed him. Maybe I'm crazy now. 
   "Lee," Tyler says placing his hands on my arms and I flinch. "Lee, what's going on?" I look at him. How much time has passed? I didn't even notice Nathan calling Tyler. I'm sitting on the fountain wall again and Tyler kneels in front of me. "Are you in shock?" 
    "No, I um. . ." I scratch my forehead trying to process my thoughts. "I thought I saw. . . it's nothing." I shiver again when I picture the figure in my head. 
    "You aren't making any sense." I don't know what to say, "Fuck, where's Flynn?" 
    "Don't know, I'll call him," Nathan says. 
    "I don't need Flynn," I shake my head but I hear him call him anyway. "I'm okay," I push his hands off me and I try stand up but he doesn't let me move. I don't understand what's happening. I'm so fucking confused. I thought I was over the past? I was moving on and now I see his ghost. Why am I being haunted by my past? 
    "Ri," Flynn says breathlessly. I look up at him and he's jogging towards me. He looks panicked for some reason. "What the hell is wrong with her?" I frown. 
    "I'm fine," I whisper and he kneels down next to Tyler and he places his hand on my leg and looks up at me. "I just, saw something." 
    "Saw what? You're white as a ghost." Well that seems fitting, he touches my cheek, "you're cold and shaking, Ri." I am? Well, I guess I'm not exactly surprised. 
    "It doesn't matter, it's not real." I push them away from me and I stand up. They follow my lead and hold my arms so I don't fall, not that I am. I walk towards the buildings and I know they are behind me. 
    "Sis, are you sure you're okay?" I stop and spin and they almost walk into me because of my abrupt stop. 
     "I'm fine, I saw someone but it wasn't real. It scared me but now I've processed it and know it's not real I'm okay. I obviously haven't dealt with the past as I thought." I shrug and turn to keep walking to my class. 
    "How do you know it wasn't real?" Flynn asks. 
    "Because he's dead!" I remark, "I killed him," I shiver again as I walk into the building. Tyler grabs my arm so I have to face him. The hallway is empty which is good means people aren't watching our arguement. 
    "You saw James?" Tyler asks confused. 
    "No, I thought I did or did you forget that he's dead?" 
    "I didn't forget, I'm just confused." 
    "Me too, okay? Just forget it, I need to get to class." 
    "Wait a second. Did this person say anything? Do anything?" I shake my head. Why would it if it's all in my head. 
    "No, I told you it's not real. I just saw them in the alleyway. He was watching me, when I looked away he was gone." I pull my arm away from Tyler and I walk away and they let me leave. I head to class and the day flies by. No more ghosts jumping out at me and now it's forgotten at the back of my mind. 
    I've been for a run and showered and now I'm wearing a black dress with make up and my hair curled. I've tidied the apartment even though I keep it clean anyway. I put on background music with my Alexa. There's a knock at the door and I check the camera. I'm still jittery after this morning. I open the door and all three guys are standing outside. I welcome them in and Nathan hugs me. 
    I smirk into his neck as he spins me around. "Let's get this party started!" Tristan bellows. He walks to the Echo and turns up the music. Nathan releases me and he pulls me to his body and starts dancing and I laugh. Tristan slides the scotch across the counter. He goes through my cupboards until he finds some glasses. 
    Tristan fills some glasses and spills the scotch on my counter. Nathan spins me around so I'm facing away from him and pulls me to his body and his hips sway to the music. He rests his chin on my shoulder and I rest my cheek against his. Nathan and I have grown closer during the two weeks.  We've learned how to be friends, how to be around each other comfortably. 
    Tristan passes us a glass but I decline mine. He tips mine in his glass. Jesse holds up a jenga box and I frown. "Strip Jenga!" he yells. Man, my neighbours are going to kill me with these rowdy guys. Jesse takes the box to the couch and starts setting it up on the coffee table. Tristan turns the music louder and jumps over the back of the sofa with the bottle. 
    Nathan takes my hand and leads me to the couch. I should have worn more clothes. I sit in my seat and Nathan slides in next to me. "You look hot tonight," he whispers in my ear and I smile. 
    I smell Nathan's scotch and I wrinkle my nose, it's revolting. Tristan tops everyone's glasses up, he already looks out of it anyway. 
    "Ladies first," Jesse winks at me. "Although, you aren't much of a lady." I grin and I perch on the edge of the seat and pull a block out. Nathan takes his turn easily. Tristan takes his go but his hand is shaking. It stays up but it looks like he'll be losing the most clothes. Jesse takes his go and it's starting to become unsecure. 
   "This is hardly fair if you aren't drinking Blake," Tristan slurs. I take my go and stand up and grab some 7 up. "Not that type of drink," I roll my eyes. I know what he meant. 
    Nathan has already taken his go by the time I sit down with my drink. "Can I use your loo, Spanner?" he whispers in my ear. I nod and he gets up. I hear the door bang and I get up. I open it and an older lady stands in the doorway. 
    "Riley, dear please turn the music down." It's my next-door neighbour on my other side. She's sweet. 
   "Sure, sorry Mary. I just have some friends over. They are a bit rowdy. I'll turn it down for you." I glance at them on the sofa and Tristan knocks it over on his go and he boo's loudly. 
    "Thanks, dear, goodnight." I nod and shut the door. Tristan stands up and lifts his shirt over his head. I bite my lip as his back muscles flex as he does it. I hear the bathroom door open and Nathan comes out. 
   He smiles at me and watches me as he sits down on the couch. I turn the music down and then I follow him and I take a sip of my drink. I screw my face up, it tastes funny. Maybe the glass was still soapy. Oh well. Jesse takes his go. I take my go shortly after and sip my drink again. I cross my legs and Nathan places his hand on my thigh once he takes his go. 
    He necks his drink and Tristan tops it up for him. The smell lingers in my nose, it's skanky. How can they drink that stuff and like it? Tristan manages to keep it up this time but Jesse takes a block out that almost defeats me. I frown, my hand wobbles and I knock the damn thing over. I swear he did that on purpose. 
    I stand up and shimmy my dress up my thighs and I feel them watching me. I lift the dress over my head and place it on the couch next to me. I sit back down and I'm thankful I've got a nice underwear set on. Nathan coughs and then starts stacking them again. Once they're up he takes his go. I take a glug of my drink and my cheeks feel flushed. 
    We carry on playing the game until we are in our underwear. Tristan scrambles to his feet and turns the music up louder than it was before. I get up and I fall onto Nathan's lap. My head is spinning a bit, what the hell? "You okay?" I nod and make my way to Tristan. Tristan grabs my wrists and pulls me away from the music. 
   "Tristan, my neighbours will call the police." 
   "Stop worrying, Blake. Dance with me." He pulls my arms onto his shoulders and we slow dance to the fast beat music. He dips my body close to floor and I giggle. He quickly picks me back up and his lips collide with mine. 
    "The fuck is going on?" Flynn shouts over the music. I pull away from Tristan and he rolls his eyes. He grabs the scotch bottle and drinks from the bottle. "Ri?" Flynn shouts to me. 
   "What? We are having fun!" I stumble towards him and he holds my arms to support me. Flynn grabs my cheeks with his hand and holds me firmly. 
    "Are you drunk?" he demands. 
    "What! No!" I protest. Except for some strange reason, I feel it. Flynn realises me and walks to the Alexa and turns the music off. 
    "Why the fuck are you all half-naked?" Flynn growls. I stumble back to the sofa and I fall again ending up in Nathan's lap again. 
    "We played strip Jenga. You're pretty," I say to Nathan and he smiles. I wrap my arms around Nathan's neck and kiss his cheek. 
    "How could you let her drink, Nathan?" Flynn growls. 
    "She hasn't, I swear to god I wouldn't let her drink. Not again," Flynn walks over to me and pulls me off Nathan's lap. 
    "Oh come on, lighten up. A little vodka in her drink to liven the party up is not breaking the law," Tristan slurs. Tristan grabs a vodka bottle off the floor and slides the small bottle across the coffee table. A quarter of vodka is gone, how did I not know that? 
    Flynn lunges at Tristan and starts punching him. I grab Flynn's elbow and he pushes me off him and I fall back onto the coffee table and fall to the floor causing glass to shatter around me. Ow, my arm hurts. "Lee!" Tyler shouts and I hold my head. "What the fuck? Flynn, stop." I shut my eyes as I hear the commotion around me. A hand grabs my arm and I open my eyes. Nathan is examining my arm. 
    Blood is dripping, "Jesse get me a towel," Nathan demands. I look up and Tyler is dragging Flynn out the apartment. "You're going to need stitches, babe." Jesse passes Nathan a towel and he wraps it around my forearm covering the wound. "Get him out of here," Nathan growls. "He deserved that you know? You can't spike someone's drink. You could have killed her." 
     "It was only a bit of fun, he needs locking up. He's out of control," Jesse says and he helps Tristan off the couch. 
     "Bit of fun? She's not allowed to drink! You literally could have killed her. She has heart disease, you idiot! The alcohol could stop her heart."
     "What? I didn't know, she said she said she was sober not why she was staying sober. Shit!" Jesse curses, "Riley, I'm sorry." Jesse assists Tristan out of the apartment and Nathan helps me up off the floor and sits me on the couch. I blink as Nathan starts to put his clothes on. Man, how did we go from having a fun night to this? Once Nathan is dressed he grabs my dress and slides it over my head. 
     "Is she okay?" Tyler asks. 
     "She needs stitches," Nathan says and he pulls me to my feet so he can slide my dress down. He lifts me into his arms. "You need to drive though, I've been drinking." 
     "Sure, let's go. I'll grab her a coat, one sec." 
     "Ty, Flynn," I ask.  
     "He's fine, don't worry. Worry about yourself," he sighs. He returns to us and places a coat over me. We leave my apartment and Tyler lifts me away from Nathan. 
      "But. . . where is he?" 
      "Next door, he's cooling off Lee. I told you he hurts people around him." 
      "It was my fault," I admit. "Don't judge him on this." 
      "Stop defending him, Lee. He could have hurt you a lot worse, this is what I was afraid of." I rest my face in his neck and I sigh. 
      "It was an accident, I was stupid. I wasn't thinking clearly." Tyler lowers me into the passenger seat and Nathan climbs in the back. Tyler belts me in before he makes his way to the driver's seat. 
      "Stop it Lee, enough. Nothing you can say will make this right. You shouldn't need to condone his violence. He fucking hurt you," Tyler angrily puts his belt on and starts the car. I glare at him but he drives away not looking at me. 
     "Ty, I'm okay and he deserved it. I didn't know he spiked my drink." 
     "I know and I'm going to kill him myself tomorrow. No more parties without me, okay?" he glances at me and glares back at me. "Promise me," I roll my eyes. 
     "Only if you promise not to punish Flynn." 
     "Calm down, Lee. He's my best friend and he was defending you. I don't blame him for everything. He's punishing himself enough." 
    "What is that supposed to mean?" I demand. 
    "He feels like shit what he did to you. He asked me to make sure you were okay. He knows why I wanted you two apart and he's going to listen from now on." 
    "We've been apart for ages, Ty! He's always going to care! Are you going to stop him seeing me altogether?" 
    "Wait? You two were an item? You said nothing was going on?" Nathan demands. 
    "It's over Nate, it has been for a while." 
    "Who ended it? You or him?" Nathan demands. 
    "Well, it's complicated." 
    "How is it complicated, Roo? Either you did or he did?" 
    "Technically Ty ended it but then essentially I ended it but we were both in agreement." 
    "Is there still a chance you'll get back together?" I turn to face him and I hold my hand out. He takes my hand in his two large ones and I look into his sad eyes. 
    "No, it's over but it doesn't mean we can be together. I'm broken, you know that. I'm not like some electrical part like my TV you fixed for me. Your spanners and drill can't fix me." 
    "I thought you were happy how we are? That's all I want, no expectation. I accepted you for what you are babe, I don't expect more from you. I really like you." 
    "I am happy, with what we are right now." I move one of his hands to my cheek and shut my eyes. 
    "Then that's settled then. Again, screwdriver babe." I open my eyes and roll them. "My little Spanner." I smile and Tyler stops and parks the car. Nathan removes his hand from my cheek and lets go of my hand. Tyler lifts me out of the car. 
    "I can walk, Ty. I'm not so drunk anymore," I protest. He sets me on my feet and I sway a bit. He shuts the car door and I start walking and I stumble into Nathan's body and my hands grips his abs to stop myself falling. He could literally be the hulk if he was green. I slide my hands across the hard abs and he laughs at me. 
    "Not drunk, my ass babe." He picks me up effortlessly and carries me towards the building. My head is still swirling a little bit. His strong cologne is overpowering my senses. I rest my head in his neck. 
    "Hi, my sister cut herself and needs stitches. I also need her heart checked out. She was admitted into hospital a couple of weeks ago with Alcohol poisoning. She's got heart disease and her drink was spiked. Her name is Riley Blake, it will all be on her notes." Tyler informs the receptionist. 
    "Sure, I'll get someone to check her over as soon as possible. Riley does your heart hurt or is it beating too fast?" the woman asks me. 
    "No, it's okay," I assure them. 
    "Okay, good. Have a seat and let me know if you have any concerns. I'll get someone out as soon as I can. We are quite busy tonight." I cling to Nathan's neck as he sits down on a chair. Tyler's phone rings and he stands up to answer the phone. I grab his hand so he doesn't leave me. 
    "Hello?" he says and looks down at me and frowns. "She's fine, bro. We are at the hospital," he tries to walk away but I keep his hand. "Calm down, she just needs some stitches and I want them to check her heart just in case." 
    Tyler sighs and passes me the phone, "Flynn?" 
    "Ri, are you okay? I'm so sorry baby," his voice breaks and my heart aches for him. Tyler sits next to me again and I keep his hand. 
     "I'm fine, Flynn. It was my fault, I should have been more careful." Tyler snorts in disgust. 
     "No, Ri. This is on me not you. I can't ever lose control like that. You aren't safe around me, Ri. I'm too dangerous for you. My jealousy and my protectiveness over you is too strong. Whether we are together or not I'll still love you. I have to keep my distance. . ." 
    "Flynn, don't be so stupid." A tear escapes my eye, "You promised we could still see each other every day." 
    "That was before I realised what I'm capable of. I never thought I'd hurt you, you are everything to me. It's better this way," he says softly. 
    "No, it's not." 
    "You need to trust me Ri. I know this is hard but I have to keep you safe." 
    "You know what Flynn? This is so stupid, all of this. It was an accident, avoid it if you must. Don't expect me to come running back because you're protecting me. I really hate you sometimes," I end the call and give Tyler his phone back. 
     So first we couldn't be together and now we aren't even allowed to see each other. This is beyond ridiculous. I will never understand this. I bury my face in Nathan's neck. It was an accident for christ sake. Hell!