Protecting Her Lost Soul

Chapter 15

Everyone is gathered in the living room with their presents. "Okay, open your presents," Mom says. Miley sits between me and Nanny with her presents.
   "Make sure you read the labels, baby, so you know who the presents are from and you can thanks them," I say to Miley and she nods. She scans her presents not knowing what to open first. I watch her as she opens all her presents. She doesn't stop smiling and my heart swells. She's been so spoilt. She looks at me. "Mommy, open mine." 
   I hunt around the presents but she picks hers out for me. It's a small box and I tear the wrapping paper and then open the box. My heart stops as I look at the small delicate necklace. It has a heart pendant which reads This mommy belongs to Miley. A tear escapes my eye and I wipe it away. "Honey, I love it." She smiles and crawls over my presents and slides against the back of the couch and me so she doesn't need to move my presents. I hug her from the side. "Thank you, baby." 
    "Open the rest," she demands. 
    "Why don't you open them for me?" I offer. I'm so tired. Miley smiles and opens the smallest one. I watch sleepily as she opens it. It contains a car key. "Mom! Dad!" I say sleepily. "You didn't!" 
   "Honey, you need a car. Flynn can't keep borrowing Tyler's." Mom explains. "You didn't like the last one so. . ." 
    "I don't drive," I complain. I'm sounding so ungrateful but I hate that they do this. I don't need a car. Well, I do but I didn't ask for it. It's too extravagant. 
    "Flynn's on your insurance. So technically it's a joint present. We had it delivered to your apartment." 
    "Thank you," I mumble trying not to sound too ungrateful. 
    "Cool, at least I won't need to keep lending out my baby." Tyler says amused. I shut my eyes and listen carefully as Miley reads out the labels and tells me what the presents are. 
    "From Flynn," Miley says and I open my eyes. She opens a small box and inside is a ring. It has two seperate names. Riley and Flynn. It has two small hearts next to each name. One white diamond and one pink diamond. Miley gets the ring out and there's engraving underneath that reads, You are my definition of perfect. 
     Miley takes my right hand and slides it on my ring finger. I shift my weight and kiss Flynn's cheek. "Thank you, I love it," I whisper and he looks down at me. 
   "You're welcome, baby." I shut my eyes and listen to them all opening presents. Tyler bought Flynn a tattoo voucher. I know Flynn said he liked tattoo's but he hasn't got any. I wonder what he wants to get. 
   "Abgail, Hayden?" Flynn asks confused. I open my eyes and see a credit card in a box. "I don't understand." 
   "You are our son now, Honey. So that means money and all." Man, my parents go over board. 
   "I can't accept this," he protests. I know how he felt about me paying for Miley's stuff. He wants to provide for himself and his family. I can understand that because I am trying to do just that too. 
    "Son, we worry about you, this way we know you'll be okay. Please, accept it, you'll upset her otherwise." Dad says. 
   "God forbid I'd upset Abigail by not accepting endless cash," he mutters. "Thank you," he says louder so they can hear.  
    "From Nana and Pop's," Miley says. I thought I'd had all my presents. I look at Miley and she's grinning. I guess she already knows what they've got me. She unwraps it and it's a photo album. 
   She opens it and there's pictures of Flynn and me. Ones I never knew were taken. They aren't all intimate, some we looked pissed as hell with each other. One of them makes Flynn flinch, he must be looking at it too. The time Flynn was in a coma a picture of me lifeless as Flynn is lying in the coma. We aren't together in the picture. 
    Why did she put this in here? I don't want pictures of Flynn in a coma and I don't want to remember the pain of losing him. Miley turns the page over and the sickening feeling is erased when I see a picture of Flynn, me and Miley on the sofa. I believe this was only a couple of days ago. Lot's of pictures of Miley, Miley and me and all three of us. Such a thoughtful gift. 
    "Thank you," I croak. 
    "You're welcome, Lee." Mom says. 
    "Really Sis?" Tyler says. I look behind us where Tyler is sat on the floor. His cup reads Being my brother is the only gift you need. Flynn reads the writing and laughs. I smile and lay back down on Flynn's chest. 
    "Oh, Lee, this is beautiful." She holds the clock up to show me. It's lots of pictures of our family at each hour. "Thank you," I smile at her and shut my eyes. 
    "Ri," he gasps. I open my eyes and look up at him. He's looking at the black ring I bought him that reads Forever and Always. He slides it on his middle finger and peppers kisses on my cheek and I giggle but stop because it hurts. "Stop doing that," he says playfully. He kisses my forehead and I shut my eyes again. 
  I feel Miley get off the couch and I listen out for her. "Uncle Tyler?" 
  "Urgh, what kid?" he groans. 
  "Where is my present?" she asks. 
  "Umm, it's not arrived yet. It's due to arrive today, I paid extra to get it delivered today." I hope he's not lying. What could he have bought? Why couldn't he have gone a bought something from the store? I know she was a last-minute addition but he could have got something in time as I did. 
    "Okay, thank you, Uncle Tyler," I carefully turn on my stomach and Flynn grabs my hips to still me. 
   He whispers in my ear, "Can you please stop moving? It's bad enough you lying on me, you know just looking at you makes me hard. Imagine what you lying on me is doing," I feel his breath brush across my face. I smile and try not to move. I listen to the chatter around me as I snooze. Damn painkillers have made me so drowsy. At least I'm not in excruciating pain. 
   "Ri," Flynn whispers waking me up. "It's time for lunch," I groan. He sits up and lifts me up not waiting for me to respond. He walks into the dining room and I blink adjusting to the light. Mom has extended the table and she's placed loads of bowls of veg so we can help ourselves. 
   Flynn sits me in my usual chair. Miley climbs on my lap and I hug her tightly. Everyone is sat at the table now. "Toast everyone," Nanny says as she holds the glass up after she's finished pouring everyone a drink. I grab the glass in front of me and hold it up, "Merry Christmas, I'm so blessed to be with all my family." 
   We all clink glasses and I bring the glass to my lips and Flynn grabs the glass from me. I roll my eyes, I don't even like Champagne so one sip wasn't going to send me over the edge. He tips my drink into his glass and places it as far away from me. "What do you want to eat, baby?" I ask Miley. 
   "All of it!" she squeals and I laugh. I grab her plate but Flynn takes it off me. He loads her plate up with everything as she asked and pours gravy on it. She tucks in straight away shoving food in her mouth. 
   "That's not very ladylike, Miley," Nanny scolds. 
   "Mother, leave her be. Lee taught her some bad habits for sure but at least she's eating." Mom says and I smile. 
    "Ri, what are you having?" I shake my head and he groans. He grabs my plate and starts putting a bit of everything on it anyway. He puts it next to Miley's plate and passes me a fork. "Don't start. I can't wait until you are feeling better, you need to eat, Ri." 
     We all pull our crackers and wear the stupid hats. "You've got this one well trained, Riley. Good on you, don't back down or he will take you for a ride." Nanny says and I roll my eyes. "Don't roll your eyes at me, young lady. I'm giving you my wisdom here. Don't settle Sweetie, I went through a lot of dogs before I met Pop's." 
   I shove a potato in my mouth so I don't groan too loudly, "When you decide to marry make sure it's for the right reasons. I thought when I married Jack that he was the one. I was young and naive. He was the bad boy in high school, he wanted me and I thought I wanted him. He did nothing for me, he was actually a piece of work. Cheated on me behind my back. What I'm saying is don't rush into anything. Just because you think you're in love doesn't mean you are. You need to play the field, Riley." 
   "Mother, enough can we have a nice meal for once?" Mom scolds. 
   "I'm only giving her years of advice. She's too young to know what she wants, I don't want her to be trapped like I was." 
   "Mom," I urge. I'm not listening to this, she doesn't know the half of what's happened to me. If she did she wouldn't be saying this. Mom looks at me to warn me to calm down. 
    "I'm just saying the bad boy is great for right now but he's only going to break your heart. You need someone dependable." 
    I'm done, she doesn't know me or Flynn. Not that we are together, how does she know he's the bad boy anyway? "Honey, can you sit with Flynn please? I need the loo," I whisper and she nods and get's off my lap and Flynn looks at me when she climbs on his lap. 
   I hold my ribs as I get up, "Lee, where are you going?" Mom panics. 
   "This is what I avoided. . . for all those months. I am the black sheep. . . of the family now!" I walk away as they call for me. I climb the stairs and I enter my room and slam the door locking the door. 
   There's a knock on the door and I know it's not Flynn because he would try to open the door. "Riley, I'm sorry. I only want what's best for you. Please, I'd like to talk without a door between us." Nanny calls. 
   I roll my eyes and open the door. She goes to walk in but I hold my hand up. "Not in here," I protest and she frowns. I walk out my room and down the hall to Flynn's room. I'm safer in here than I am in my room. She takes in the room as we walk in. 
   "Is this Flynn's room?" I nod. "Why are we in here and not your room?" 
   "Because Nanny, I hate people in my room." My speech is so much better today whether that is the painkillers or something is easing, I don't know. "You don't know half of what happened to me." 
   "That's because you have been avoiding me!" 
   "No, I avoided everyone. After the accident, I lost myself. So utterly lost that I tried to kill myself more than once!" 
    She gasps, "Riley!" 
    "It wasn't just the accident. I lost myself before that, the accident just sent me over the edge into oblivion." 
    "I don't understand, Sweetie." 
    "You all thought James was amazing. In my room down the hall was where he stole my virginity! He pinned me down and took what he wanted." 
    "What?" she covers her mouth in shock. 
    I lift my top up to show my bruising, "This isn't the first time this has happened. I was alone to deal with this!" I let my top fall as tears fall from her eyes. "Guilt of killing him, Mom losing her hand I detached from everything. Destroyed everything! I drank myself to oblivion. I was intoxicated all day every day. I cared for nothing! 
    "I even took drugs, that was what made me suicidal. It made me truly numb. They shipped me off to Duke because they couldn't handle me. Sure, Flynn is the bad boy but more importantly, he's my saviour. I tried pushing him away as I did everyone else. He made me feel again when I tried to block it all out. 
   "I didn't know what love felt like until he broke all my walls. He brought me back to who I am. Who I was before the accident, before James. Mom says Flynn made me a better version of myself. He made me stronger. Flynn got me sober, I could have killed myself with the booze. I can't touch it as I damaged my heart." She walks towards me to hug me but I put my arms out so she can't. 
    "What's wrong with your heart?" 
    "I have heart disease," she gasps and ignores my protest and hugs me anyway. "You say I should play the field but I can't. I can't handle people touching me sober. Hell, since Flynn I can't handle intimacy intoxicated. We can't be together but it's only ever going to be him. He saved me from myself." 
    "Why can't you be together?" she says as she releases me.
    "Tyler for one and well, Flynn has anger issues. He hurts people around him. He hurt me by accident once and I needed stitches. It was my fault, I was drunk and I didn't think. I make him lose his shit." 
    "What do you mean, Riley?" 
    "Well, he's protective over me. If someone is a threat to me or shows me too much attention he snaps. I trust him but he doesn't trust himself. He won't put me at risk. Yet, I need him. If he's not with me I get two hours sleep with terrifying nightmares. He can make me do things no one else can. He can calm me, he tells me when I'm being impossible." 
   "Sweetie, no relationship should be abusive. If he's hurt you even by accident you should walk away." 
    "Then I'll be alone forever." 
    "You'll find someone, he's dangerous for you. You deserve better," I snort. 
    "Deserve better? Are you kidding me? He saved my life more than once and you say he's not good enough? Sure in an ideal world he wouldn't have anger issues but no one's perfect. I would be six feet under right now if not for him." 
     "I didn't say I didn't appreciate what he's done, Riley. This relationship isn't normal. I see that you both love each other but that doesn't make it right." 
     "Why are you being so judgemental?" 
     "Sweetie, I'm not. I love you, I want what's best for you. I love Flynn, he's a brilliant handsome young man, I just don't want you getting hurt." 
    "I've already been hurt, Nanny. You missed that chapter of my life. He makes me happy when before him I was sad. He beats my heart when once it was icy and dormant. Without him, I'm a zombie. He makes me feel safe, he's allowed in my space when I still can't let others in." 
    "It goes that deep?" she asks shocked. 
    "Yes, it's not just some fling. He burns me when he touches me, James made me cold. I am so warm when Flynn is with me. The things he makes me feel. . ." 
    "Is he that good in bed?" she smirks. I blush awkwardly. 
    "Nanny!" I scold. 
    "Come on tell old Nanny Elsie." 
    "He's the only one Nanny. He makes me feels things deep inside that I didn't know existed. He's the only one that can make me climax." 
     "Oh, Honey." she laughs. "Have you been with some duds?" 
     "No, I mean they knew what they were doing. I told you, I didn't feel before Flynn. It's only him." 
      "That's odd," she says scratching her head. "No other guy has made you come before? Ever?" I blush again. 
     "No, Nanny. Now can we talk about something else?" 
     "Come on, not even close?" 
     "No, Nanny. I was shocked when Flynn could. I thought he had some magic tricks or something. I hated him at the beginning. I mean why him?"
     "Sweetie, you don't choose the one. They find you, everything happens for a reason. I can't say I agree but I'm going to support you." She hugs me again quickly and releases me. "Let's go finish our dinner. I love you Riley." 
    "I..." I can't say it. She frowns, "I'm sorry. I can't. . ." 
    "You used to say it all the time," she questions. 
    "I know, it's hard to say it to people. I'm sure I'll get there, it took me a while to be able to say it to Tyler and he's my favourite." She nods and takes my hand and we walk back downstairs. We take our seats again and Miley returns to my lap. 
   Flynn takes my hand, "You okay?" I nod. "Can you eat some more, please? You're wasting away in front of me." I roll my eyes but I eat some more. He starts to relax as I eat it. We talk around the table and Miley is on her second portion of food. I love how much she's eating. 
    Mom serves dessert too. She's amazing and served strawberries and ice cream for me. The ice cream soothes my throat even though it's not that bad with the pain killers. I walk to the couch when we are finished and I can't keep my eyes open. They all follow me in and Flynn sits behind me again and places the blanket over me and Miley lays on me. Nanny, Pop's and Dad sit on the other sofa and Mom sits on the sofa with us. She lets me rest my legs on her lap. 
   Tyler sits on the floor leaning against the sofa by my head. They decide to watch The Holiday as the Christmas film. I love this movie but I don't think I'll be awake long enough to watch it. My eyes grow heavy and I let them close. 
    I wake to something cold on my face and I hear Miley squeal playfully. I groan and something licks my face and I push it away. "She's going to be pissed man," Flynn warns. Something hits my ribs and I gasp. My eyes fly open and I'm met with a dog's face. What the hell? 
   I take in my surroundings and the dog is laying on me panting. It's a Dalmatian, my favourite breed. I rub my eyes hoping I am dreaming. "What. . . the?" I mumble. 
   "Mommy, look. Uncle Tyler's Christmas present!" Miley squeals again and I grumble. The dog doesn't stop looking at me as he lays on me. I look around the room for Tyler and he's stood by the door. I push the dog off me gently and sit up. 
   "Ri," Flynn warns. I ignore him getting up off the couch and I walk towards Tyler with my hand on my ribs. 
   I feel the dog follow me as I drag Tyler into the kitchen. "What the fuck, Ty?" I growl. 
   "She wanted a dog, so I got one. You didn't say no when she asked," he shrugs. 
   "But I didn't bloody say yes either. You should have asked me! I'm the one that will have to look after the thing." 
   "Look, I did my research. He's had all his jabs. He's two years old and he's well trained. Look, I think he loves you already." I look down at the dog and he's laying down next to my feet. 
    "Did you? Dalmatians are hard work. They are energetic and emotional! I live in an apartment Tyler." 
   "Then you're a good match then. You're emotional and you run a lot. Win-win." I groan in frustration. I push him and instantly regret it. He holds my elbows when he knows I hurt myself. I grit my teeth. I look down at the dog and he's on high alert. He has a blue bow around his neck. I cough and gasp. Fuck sake, this hurts. Tyler continues to hold my elbows whilst I'm hunched over my ribs. I cough again and I whimper. 
    Flynn enters the kitchen holding the painkillers. "Sorry, Ri, I didn't notice the time." I cough again whilst he pours it onto the spoon. I turn to face him standing straight and he pushes the spoon in my mouth. I swallow and rest my face in his neck. Tyler releases my elbows and I wrap my arms around Flynn's waist. He strokes my hair and the dog nuzzles my leg. 
   I look down at it and it's looking at me. "What?" I say to it. The dog holds it's paw up to me and I stroke its head. 
    "Come on, admit it. He's cute," Tyler says. "You're cute aren't you Rex?" The dog doesn't respond to Tyler just keeps watching me. "The owner has given us food for a few days. Honest, he's not going to be a bother. Miley loves him already." I roll my eyes and I walk out of the room and I walk to the bathroom. 
   The dog comes in the bathroom with me and I groan. Why has it fixated on me? I'm never going to be alone now. I go to the loo and wash my hands. I walk out the bathroom and I sit on the stairs. The dog sits on the floor and rests it's head on my legs. His blue eyes watch me longingly. 
   I guess he is cute. Mom was worried about responsibility and now I have a child to look after and a Dog. I stroke his head and I smile. I thought my heart was broken but here I am. It's swelling with pride. I love my family, they make me smile every day. They make me happy, how did I end up so lucky? 
   I think deep down Tyler got this dog for me. He knows I love Dalmatian's, he knows I love dogs. What's more, the dog has adopted me. We had a dog when I was younger and she died a few years ago. She was a Boxer dog, my second favourite breed. She was everyone's best friend. I was devastated when she died. I always said I didn't want another dog but Tyler is forcing one on me. I thought I had no more room in my broken heart but I'm proven wrong again.