Protecting Her Lost Soul

Chapter 17

When I wake the pain is back. I open my eyes and Miley is asleep on me. Another film is playing and I smell wine. I wrinkle my nose at the smell. I realise that Flynn isn't here. "Oh, honey," Mom smiles at me. "They went to the pub for a drink," I blink sleepily.
   "What time is it?"
   "Nine," I wipe my eyes and try to sit up but I can't with Miley and the dog on me. I cough and gasp at the pain. I hold my hand out to Mom and she assists me sitting up. It hurts so much again. I'm not sure what I prefer the drowsiness or the pain.
    I gently push the dog off me and pull Miley in arms. "Honey, do you want me to carry her?" Mom asks and I shake my head.
   "I've got her," I say through gritted teeth. I stand up and groan. "Good night," I say to everyone and they return the gesture. I walk out the room and make my way upstairs to my room. I tuck Miley in and I turn the light off. I make my way to the bathroom and freshen up getting ready for bed. Once I return I sit on the bed and lean against the wall holding my ribs. It hurts so much again. The dog jumps up and lays on my lap.
    I stroke his head as I watch Miley sleeping peacefully. I can't sleep with this much pain and I'm not tired as I've slept most of the day. There's a tap on the door and I grit my teeth and get up. I open then the door holding my ribs. Mom is standing in the doorway with a mug. "Honey, I brought you some hot milk. Why are you in here?"
    "Flynn might want to bring someone home," I shrug. Mom frowns at me in shock.
    "I don't think he will do that honey, he loves you. He's done nothing but worry over you these last few days. Tyler forced him to go out, he didn't want to leave." She passes me the cup and I thank her. "Are you in pain?"
    "Yeah, it really hurts."
    "Where are your painkillers?"
    "Dunno, I don't want them. I'll get nightmares, they make me drowsy."
    "Lee, they said it's bad for your heart if you're in pain."
    I set the drink down on the chest of drawers by the door. "I'm fine, stop fussing." I growl and Mom sighs.
    "You are like a pussy cat when Flynn is around and then you turn into a Lion when he's not here. I wish you'd let me look after you," I glare at her.
    "This is who I am now, I'm not a nice person. You need to accept that, I take care of myself now. This is on me not you."
    "No, Lee, it's not who you are. It's a barrier to protect yourself, you push people away before they hurt you. We are your family we will always be here."
    "But what if I'm not?" I growl.
    "What is that supposed to mean?"
    "Anything could happen to me, my heart, James, we don't know."
    "Lee. . ." she gasps. "Don't say that!" I look back at Miley and she's still fast asleep. "You are going to be fine as long as you take care of yourself."
    "But if something does, though. You'll take care of her, won't you? Don't ever let her go back into care."
    "Riley, stop talking like this."
    "Promise me!" I growl.
    "I promise, Lee. Now stop it," she says sternly. Tears fall from my eyes and I nod. She pulls me to her and I sob into her chest. "Shh, baby. Don't cry," she rocks me gently side to side. "It will all be okay. I promise," she reassures. I hold back my tears and she releases me. "Get some sleep honey," I nod and I walk back into my room and shut the door.
    I walk to the bed but decide to sit on the floor. I rest my back on the wall and slide to the floor. The dog lays on my lap again and I cough. Tears silently fall as I stroke the dog. I don't even know why I am crying. I don't even truly believe Flynn will bring anyone back with him. I don't think I'm going to die anytime soon so I shouldn't have any reason to cry apart from the pain.
   I continue to cry for what seems like hours. The door opens and my eyes hurt from the light in the hallway. Flynn spots me on the floor and walks over to me. I can smell the alcohol on his breath and I wrinkle my nose. He doesn't say anything only lifts me off the floor and I call out in pain. I look at his face and he screws his face up like he's in pain.
   He carries me out of my room and pulls the door to. He walks down to his room and flicks the light on and lowers me on the bed. I stay in a sitting position and hold my ribs. The dog gets on the bed and rests his head on my lap. "What the hell, Ri?!" he growls once the door is closed.
    "What?" I grumble.
    "I leave you for a couple of hours and your Mom tells me you've been a nightmare. How can I ever leave you if you do this?" he paces around the room.
    "I am not your responsibility!" I retaliate.
    "Yes, you are! Why can't you see that?"
    "Because I'm not anything to you! I'm not your girlfriend, I'm not your wife or fiance, I'm not anything!"
    "Fuck, Ri. We haven't got a name for what we are but you are everything to me. I tell you all the time so why would you think I would bring someone else back here? Are you insane?"
     "Why wouldn't you bring someone back here?"
     "Fuck, you're challenging today. Because I love you, and only you." He walks to me and kneels between my legs. "I love you, baby. I don't want anyone else." He rests his hands on my knees as the dog has my thighs covered. Tears continue to fall and he sighs. "Why are you crying?"
   "I don't know," he shakes his head.
   "You are frustrating." he gets up and grabs the painkillers. He tips it on the spoon and I hesitate, "Don't fucking start Riley. I'm still pissed that you spoke to your Mom about dying." Of course, she told him about that. Is nothing sacred around here?
    "I don't want to sleep anymore," I protest.
    "For what I have planned sleep isn't involved but it's not happening if you're in pain," he raises his eyebrow and smirks. "Are you game Riley Blake?" he challenges me playfully.
    "But I want to be able to feel it," I sigh.
    "Oh trust me, you'll feel it," everything is tingly inside my body and my sex is throbbing at his challenging words. I open my mouth and he slides the spoon in my mouth. He kisses my lips briefly and looks at the dog. "I think Tyler did this on purpose," I look at the dog on my lap and giggle but soon stop. "Enough of that," he smirks. "Move the dog," he commands and I push the dog gently off the bed.
     Flynn gets up and locks the door. It looks like he battles with himself with the light but chooses to keep it on. He comes towards me and lifts my hoodie and top over my head. I grit my teeth hoping he won't stop because I'm in pain. I rest my palms on the bed behind me and he grabs my bottoms and panties and slides them down my legs.
    He grabs my hips and moves me on the bed properly with my head on the pillows. I watch as he undresses himself. Once he's finished he reaches into the bedside table and produces two handcuffs and a blindfold. He smirks like he has his own secret game.
   "Are you going to play with me?" he says playfully. I nod and he grins. He places his knee on the bed and slides the blindfold on. I can't see anything so my other senses heighten. My breathing is laboured and I hear the cuffs clinking. He takes my hand and fur covers my wrist and it clicks together. He kisses my wrist and repeats the process with the other one.
    Every fibre of my being is standing to his attention and he's barely touched me. He grabs my ankle and I gasp. He abruptly pushes my knee in the air and he attaches the cuff to my ankle. I feel so exposed but I feel comfortable in my own skin. He repeats the process on my other leg and I'm stuck. I can't move and at the complete mercy of him.
    I know he's on the bed but he's completely still, I'm so uncomfortable predicting his next move. I hear something buzzing softly and something touches my breast and I gasp. "Shh, you look so beautiful. Tell me to stop if you need me to but you never disappoint."
   Vibration touches my breasts and I pull against the restraints. I feel my nipples harden and I can't find any release right now. He moves the vibrator to my stomach. "Flynn," I whine and he quickly places his finger on my lips causing me to jump. His touch is so much more right now. I've never been blindfolded or used sex toys. Hell, I've never let anyone cuff me either.
    He slowly moves the vibrator to my sex and I pull against the restraints again. He moves it up and down against my sex and then he slides it inside me and I groan. "Flynn," I mumble. We don't need foreplay his touch means more than this anyway.
    I bite my lip trying to muffle the sounds. It feels so alien inside me but it also feels glorious. He withdraws it and presses it again my clit and I throw my head back as I come. My mouth falls open and I screw my eyes shut. Fuck! I hear the buzzing stop and he moves on the bed and I feel him hover over me and he thrusts inside me and I press my mouth to his shoulder as I call out.
    Hell, I'm so sensitive. I listen to his heavy breathing and groans which spurs me higher. I want to touch him but I can't. He moves my mouth away from his shoulder and his lips crush mine. His teeth graze my bottom lip. He builds up the rhythm and I try to match his thrusts but I can barely move.
   His soft lips graze across my jaw and he starts softly kissing my skin from my jaw to my neck and then to my breasts. My skin is on fire and pleasure is radiating across my body. He sucks and nips at my nipples and my back arches trying to absorb his touch. "Flynn," I whisper.
    "I'm nowhere near done, baby," he growls into my ear and I purr. I don't know if I can keep up with him. "Do you have any idea how hot you look right now?" I feel hot, I'm burning hot. I need him to put the fire out. He's burning me again even though I feel warm inside. He repeats the process with the other nipple and I'm lost again. I pulse around him as he continues to thrust inside me.
     He pulls out of me and he touches my ankle and unlocks the cuffs from my ankle. He does the same with the other one. He lifts my arms above my head and I hear the cuffs click shut. He grabs the back of my knees and pulls me further down the bed until the restraints are tightly securing me. He pulls my knees apart before he thrust back inside me. I'm so wet which makes it easier for him to enter me deeper.
     He grabs my hip tightly and I groan. The painkillers have started to kick in, although I'm not feeling any pain, his touch has made it dull the drowsiness is clouding me. I am a fit person, I work out a lot but right now I know I'm never going to keep up with him. His  fingertips graze down my hip to my thighs causing goosebumps and he grabs the back of my knee and hitches it up so I have to wrap my leg around him.
    He repeats with my other leg and he's so deep inside me it's almost uncomfortable. I pull him closer to me with my heels and he kisses my neck. His hands continue to explore my body, how am I hanging off the edge again already?
    His lips claim mine and his piercing strokes my tongue and I climax but this time he does it with me pulsing inside me and my whole body relaxes. His weight presses into me and I feel sated. We lay like this for ages even though my arms are hurting but I don't care.
    Flynn stirs and nuzzles my neck with his nose. He purrs and removes his weight from me and kisses my lips. He climbs off me and grabs my ankles and flips me onto my stomach. He lightly slaps my ass. He lifts my knees underneath me so my backside is in the air. He pushes my knees further apart. "Once more and I'll let you sleep, baby. I need you," I am so tired but he's reawoken my libido with those words.
    I've never had this many orgasms in one night. He pushes inside me and I'm starting to feel sore but I don't mind. I'll be reminded of where he has been and only him. His hand smooths over my back as the other holds my hip into place. It starts building inside me again. My body is so exhausted but it also can't resist Flynn.
    Time is meaningless when I'm with Flynn. This could have gone on for minute or hours, I don't even know. I just know I am shattered as he pounds harder inside me. He swivels his hips on each thrust and it's too much. I let go and call out into the pillow. I cough into the pillow and pulls out of me. He unlocks the cuffs and turns me over. He removes the blindfold.
    "You okay?" I blink sleepily and nod. He pulls me to him as he kneels on the bed. I wrap my arms around his shoulders. He eases me on to him and he kisses me. "I think you're thoroughly fucked." I smile, "I'll be quick baby," he promises. I help create friction grinding up and down. I look into his dreamy black eyes.
   These eyes used to haunt me and now they comfort me. These eyes are dangerous, they show pain and suffering but on top of that, they show love and desire. I touch his lips with my thumb and he brings my thumb into his mouth and sucks. I gasp and withdraw my thumb and I grab his face in my hands and I kiss him intensely.
    I try to take control but he overpowers me. His tongue demanding access, he lowers me back on the bed and takes my hands either side of my head. I love it when he does this, we are one and nothing can tear us apart. Nothing can change our feelings for each other.
   When I come around Flynn is dressing me. I mumble my protest and he chuckles. I don't help him at all so he is dealing with dead weight. When I am dressed he lowers me back down and kisses my lips. "Are you in pain?" he whispers.
    "No," I mumble. "You dulled the pain," I try pull him back to bed but he only kisses my forehead. I hear the door open and I feel the dog lay next to me. I turn on my side and curl up to the dog. Moments later Flynn returns with Miley and places her by the wall in bed.
    "I'm going to murder, Tyler. I've been replaced by a dog," Flynn grumbles. He turns the light off and climbs in bed behind me.
    "You could never be replaced," I whisper and he kisses the back of my head. He shuffles closer to me and hugs me from behind. "I love you."
     "I love you too baby, now sleep," I let my mind dream and it's mere minutes that I fall asleep. When I wake I can't breathe.
    I start coughing removing the phlegm from my airways. I hold my ribs, the pain is back. Flynn's hands cup my face but I push him off me. I cough again and my eyes water from the pain. I can breathe better now. He cups my face again and looks at me. "I'm fine," I assure him.
    "I think you need to see a doctor."
    "No," I mutter. The door opens and I see Mom coming in.
    "You okay? I heard you coughing," I roll my eyes. "I'm getting Doctor Baxter to come over to see you. Don't complain because I'm doing it anyway. I'll call him now." She leaves the room and Flynn laughs.
    "Kill me now," I grumble. "I want to get up," I inform him and it's Flynn's turn to roll his eyes. He gets out of bed and helps me up. He makes me take the tablets and the painkillers. He makes me get in the bath but this time he leaves the room instead of staying. I wash myself and I'm ready to get out.
    I try lifting myself out the bath but it hurts too much. I hear Tyler talking outside the door and I groan. "Ty!"
    "One sec," I hear him say. "Lee?" he calls through the door.
    "I need Flynn."
   I hear him groan in frustration, "I can help, what do you need?"
   "I'm stuck in the bath. I'd rather Flynn," I hear him sigh. I don't hear him anymore so I guess he's gone to find him. I need to make sure I shower from now on if I can't get out on my own it's embarrassing.
   Minutes pass and still no one to help me. I get bored and try and get out the bath again but end up calling out in pain. Fuck this, I pull myself up despite the pain and get out the bath. I cough as I climb out the bath. I fall to the floor as I continue to cough. The dog's nose touches my face and whines. I push it away and he lays next to me. Flynn walks in and growls. "What the fuck, Ri?"
   He grabs a towel and covers me with it. "I don't need your help." I slowly sit up and he kneels in front of me. "I need to depend on myself more. I should be able to get out the bath."
    "Ri, don't fight me on this. You're feeling poorly as you've most likely got a chest infection. The meds are making you drowsy. Just let me help you."
    "No," I mutter. He sighs and scoops me up as he stands up.
    "I was sorting Miley out, I was coming back. Why didn't you just wait for me?"
    "Because it's embarrassing," I growl. He carries me out of the bathroom.
    He laughs, "Oh baby, I've had you in some pretty exposed positions and you're embarrassed about this?" he continues to laugh.
    "Stop laughing at me." I growl, "It's been me, myself and I for so long. It frustrates me that I can't function on my own."
     He stops laughing at me as we enter his bedroom. "Stop overthinking this, Ri. I want to do this for you, I need to do this for you. The thought of someone else doing this makes me sick."
     He sets me down on my feet and I hold the towel around me. I root through my bag for some clothes. "I don't want anyone else to do it. I just want myself to do it."
    "You've woken in a bad mood this morning," he sits on the bed and watches whilst I try get dressed. I fail miserably at the first hurdle with my bra. He pulls me towards him and spins me around and does up the clasp behind me. This reminds me of that black dress that I always used to struggle to do up and he always zipped it without saying a word.
    That was in the early days when I tried incredibly hard to push him away. He spins me back around and releases me again. I pull on some panties and I opt for jeans and Flynn growls. "I don't see what's wrong with the jogging bottoms. They will be more comfortable."
    I slide the jeans up my legs slowly. "Jeans are more practical," I snap.
    "Why?"
    "I find them comfy and they look good, they are smart, they keep you warm, versatile."
    "Are you going to snap out of this mood anytime soon?" he raises his eyebrows. I roll my eyes and do up the button of the jeans. I slowly slide on a baggy top and I look at Flynn. "What?"
    "Umm, I'd like a hoodie," I bite my lip and he laughs. He stands up and walks to his drawers and grabs me a hoodie.
      He returns to me and helps me into it. "I'd like to say you're predictable but you aren't." He goes to pick me up but I step back.
    "Let me walk," I demand and he curses. He holds his hands out in frustration telling me to lead the way. I smile and walk out the room. The dog is always with me. When I'm downstairs I walk into the kitchen and through the utility room to the back door. I open the door and tell the dog to go outside.
    "Ri, shut the door. You'll get cold," I roll my eyes and push the door to. He walks towards me and grabs my hips and lifts me onto the counter. "Stop being such a grouch this morning." He stands between my legs. He kisses my lips and I groan. "That's better, I thought I was losing my touch."
    "Mommy!" Miley calls and runs into the utility room. She holds her arms up to me and Flynn lifts her up to me. She clings to my neck and Flynn has to let her go.
     "You okay baby?"
     "Yeah, Pops said I can watch another Christmas film today. There's so many he said. And I'm excited to meet Ruby. Uncle Tyler said she's coming today."
     "She is?" I say to Flynn and he shrugs. "Great," I mumble.
     "It's time for breakfast Mommy! Let's go," she says and releases me.
     "In you go, I'll be in shortly. I'm just waiting for your dog." She nods and Flynn helps her get down. I scowl once Miley has gone.
      "There was me thinking your bad mood was gone, what now?"
     "Ruby is coming? For how long?"
     "Until new years I think. I thought you liked her?"
     "I do but. . ."
     "But what?"
     "Well, she's prettier than me and . . ." Flynn snorts.
    "Don't start this again. For one we have bro code and two I'm not interested Ri. I am actually looking forward to her coming." I glare at him and he laughs, "You should be too."
     "Why would I be happy that you are looking forward to the pretty girl coming? Christ!" I growl trying to keep my voice down.
     "You really are moody today. Look at it this way, the more Ruby distracts your brother the more he will leave us alone." I frown. Maybe I did jump to conclusions but in my defence, he shouldn't be interested in a moody fuck up like me. "See, you are warming to the idea too."
    I smile and he kisses me again and my bad mood fades. I didn't know Tyler was even considering having Ruby here. Things must be serious but they've only just met. I guess if you know you know right? I'm just fucked up that I fought against Flynn and my feelings. We could have been closer sooner if I wasn't so messed up.