Life Series #1: Onto Better Things

Chapter 15

"Happy birthday, my love."

I was stunned. Nagpalipat-lipat ang tingin ko sa kay Mark at sa mga regalo niya sa akin. Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala.

"But how... I don't... Paano?"

Mark took a deep breath and opened the passenger seat of his car. Pinaupo niya ako doon ng patagilid para nakaharap pa rin ako sa kanya. Ang mga paa ko ay nanatili sa daan. Nanatili siyang nakatayo sa harap ng bukas na pinto ng sasakyan niya.. sa harap ko.

"I wanted to surprise you. Pero ako ang na-surprise," he said while chucking soflty. "Sinadya ko na hindi mag-greet para magtampo ka ng konti. I didn't know it would go this far."

He lowered himself in front of me so we we're at the same eye level. Tinignan niya ako ng diretso sa mata.

"Ysa and I are nothing but friends. Oo, naging kami dati but that was just because we got pressured. We we're young and everyone was starting to get into relationships. Alam mo naman kapag high school diba? Ysa and I are close because our families are close too. And she was just there, you know. Kilala na niya ako, kilala ko na rin siya. Being with her came naturally."

Mark took a deep breath and continued staring at me.

"When she transferred schools we realized how incompatible we were. We would go through weeks na hindi nag-uusap at okay lang sa amin 'yun. We didn't even act like a couple. Na-realize namin na what we had was nothing but friendship. Hindi namin mahal ang isa't-isa. She really is my friend though. Isa siya sa mga tao na pinagkakatiwalaan ko not because she's my ex but because she's my friend."

As I was listening to him, I understood what he meant. Ganyan din naman ako kay Nicolai. I could never think of myself being romantically attracted to him but he is someone whom I can't live without.

"I'm sorry. I overreacted," I said to Mark lowering my head. Nahihiya ako sa inasta ko.

"No, it was my fault. Dapat sinabi ko na sa'yo para hindi ka na nasaktan," he said while holding my chin so I could look at him. Ngumiti siya sa akin nang magtama ang mga mata namin. Ngumiti rin ako. Oh how easy it is for me to forgive him. Isang sabi lang, okay na agad. Isang ngiti lang galing sa kanya, nakakalimutan ko na ang galit.

"So you planned this?" Sabi ko sa kanya habang tinignan ang balloons na nakalutang.

"Yes, my friends helped," he sighed. "And I was supposed to be here earlier kaso nagkaproblema nga. I guess you know what happened kasi na mention mo na nag-away friends mo."

Namuo ulit ang mga luha sa mata ko nang maalala ang pag-away ni Carol at Anna. Agad namang pinahid ni Mark ang daliri niya sa tumulo kong luha.

"Shush, everything will be okay," he said softly. His right hand cupped my face. Nagtama ang tingin namin at biglang may sumabog sa dibdib ko.

I was blinded by the sudden realization that I am so inlove with Mark. Hindi lang crush o admiration. What I feel for him go beyond what is usual. Never have I felt this way before. Siya at siya lang talaga.

I took a couple of deep breaths to calm the raging emotions inside of me but it was to no avail. Nag-panic ako. Kailangan kong sabihin sa kanya. Kailangan kong ipaalam ang nararamdaman ko.

"Mark-"

"Are you okay?" Alarm was evident in his face. I must've look like hell kaya nag-alala rin siya.

I nodded before saying something just to assure him that I'm fine.

"I need to-"