Don't worry My Son Mommy Will Take The Pain Away ( Complete ) [Editing]

an excellent ruler but a terrible husband

The tea cup had slipped out my hand as my mother spoke words that made my hands trembled I was terrified ofcourse I was

"What?!"

"Listen vivian what ever happened between you and his highness the empress would like to mend that so your father and I are going on a vacation you and Abigail will be spending some time in the imperial palace with the empress so I hope you and the prince could make things up"

"Must I go?" I asked bitterly while clinging my fist on the table

My mother close her eyes and nodded I look away

"How long until you depart?" I spoke trying to hide the fear in my voice

"Effectively tomorrow"

Nathaniel's prov

I was in my office doing official work while talking to my cousin miguel he was the free loader type despite being the same age as me one of my past life I executed him out of wrath and jealousy all because of a woman when I look bad at the me in my other lives I can't help but hate him I cause her so much suffering she didn't deserve I really am a monster who would have known that things I had thought was harmless would cause her so much pain I wonder which life she remembers if I had and option I would choose anyone except the second one are maybe the third all of them is terrible if I think about it

"What's bothering?" He asked

"Nothing"

"Wait I would like to ask you a question what if I told that I had a dream and in the dream I executed you because a woman framed you for having an affair with my wife you didn't but you did love her"

"Well it depends if you were a good man and you just did it cause you dislike me I'd carry a grudge if you weren't a good husband I'd hate from the deepest part of me"

It's just as I expected

I walk down to the cellar and look at my cousin miguel who was behind bars and chained to the wall he was an excellent knight that's why when I appointed him as her bodyguard I expected him to protect her but he did this how irritating

"What have you got say for yourself"

He look at me and laugh like some joke

"You really are a monster I don't understand how could she not see that even after everything you've done she stuck by you and this was how you repay her"

"What are ftalking she has your manipulated too you betrayed me because of her admit it she seduce you"

"Your right I did betray you you trusted me to protect her to be her bodyguard and I failed but believed me she never asked me to do no such thing when we were younger I always saw her as an spoiled brat and I was annoyed when you appointed her to me but then as I slowly get to know she was kind ,gently ,caring  I was starting to see her brighter side and the child you gave she was even more radiant than ever she cherish it not because it was her child but because it was your"

I wide open my eyes as he spoke my child

"She didn't saw the child as a political game she saw him as union between you and her then you made that woman child took him away did you know she fell into depression I bet you didn't she tried to kill herself several times it was close everytime"

I was speechless the woman who in prideful and calculative would never do such think she is too prideful for that

"No she's not prideful I can tell what you're thinking she tries to be so she could be by your side but it never seems to please you you tear her down as she tries to build up you say she seduce me I wish she would cause I knew I would never hesitate never treat her bad I had fallen for her that's why betrayed I've fallen for a woman that belonged to my best and cousin but do you know why I hate you because you take everything for granted and you suffer I hope you and that witch rot in hell"

That was the moment I realized how wrong I was about her but that moment I was too consumed by jealousy to realize that and in the end I lost them both and had to live with a woman I came to despise

"Yes I completely understand"

Suddenly my mother came in miguel bow I wasn't particularly close to my mother I'm sure I've mentioned this before but ever since regarding my previous memories I came to understand her more and some how desire to become closer I never knew she understood me so well she looked at me I eye signaled miguel to leave and he did so I stop writing for a second

"Yes empress mother"

"Lady vivian and Abigail will be taking some time here while there perants are out on a vacation this will be the perfect time mend the relationship with you and lady vivian so please do try to be nice but I guess you already know this and if it doesn't work you I won't force you to marry her anymore"

"Don't worry mother I want to marry and I will watch my behavior"

"You've changed your eyes seemed less violent I like it i must get back to work goodbye and your doing a great job I know  you will be an excellent ruler"

She walk through the door I continue writing Yes an excellent ruler but a terrible husband