Trusting My Brothers

Chapter 9

No one talks on the way home, which just increases my anxiety. I can tell the boys are furious with me based on the way their jaws clench. When we get back to the house, my brothers grab my arm and drag me through the front door. I wince in pain because their hand is where one of my fresh cut are, but they don't seem to notice, or care. They sit me down on the couch and call my older brothers from the third floor to come down. I feel myself on the verge of an attack, so I dig my nails into my palm. It distracts me a little bit and I try to take a deep breathe to calm me down.

My older brothers come down about five minutes later with a blank look, but their eyes show that they are confused. 

"Why did you call us down? You know we are busy right now." said Savio. 

Luca is the one who answers. "Well, our dear Sorellina already broke a couple rules today. And apparently disobeyed Matteo during practice." All of my brothers turn their gaze toward me and I remain expressionless. I wasn't going to show them that I was intimidated. 

"First things first, what rules did she break?" asked Lorenzo. He seemed to stay calm, but that only scared me more. 

"She got into a fight at school and was looking pretty close to a boy. She was acting like a slut." said a smug looking Matteo, sounding like my mother. She called me a slut, whore, and bitch on a daily basis.

Now Lorenzo looked pissed. "What?! You have been here for only a couple of days and you already broke the rules!" he yelled. I made sure that I kept a look on my face that showed that he wasn't scaring me, but inside, I am freaking out. He reminds me so much of Nate, and my stepdad left me a lot of scars. I don't think that I can handle any more. Nico tried to stay calm and asked about what I disobeyed. 

"She was talking to a boy and we had Matteo supervised, but she spoke in a completely different language so he couldn't understand." Fabiano said. Here it comes...

"We specifically told you no boys and you decided to befriend one. Then you had a conversation with them and you could have been talking about something completely inappropriate and we would never have known. He could be a man-whore for all me know. What do you have to say for yourself?" shouted Lorenzo yet again.

Now I am no longer thinking about the trouble I will be in. When it comes to Liam, I will lose it if someone makes a comment about him.

"Well first of all, Liam was one of my best friends, so I don't care about the consequences. I won't stop hanging out with him and if you think you can dictate who I am friends with, you are very mistaken. And I fought because this wannabe barbie thought that she could tell me what to do and tried to slap me. I was technically defending myself and if you have an issue with that, then I guess we will have a problem." I said and they looked shocked at my outburst. Then my older brothers come to their senses. 

Savio says in a stern voice, "Well since you decided to back talk us, your punishment is going to be worse. Give us your phone. You won't get it back for a month and you are not allowed to talk to this boy, or any boy at school again. No more fighting also or the consequences will be much worse. You are lucky that this is your first time in trouble with us. Do you understand?" 

I roll my eyes, and say, "Whatever." Then I get up and go to my room, hearing them shout after me because of my show of disrespect.

Once I am safely in my bedroom, I let all the tears I have been holding since walking away fall. I don't even care about my stupid phone. What I care about is the fact that I can't talk to Liam. I know this sounds cheesy, but he was the light in my life. When living with my mom and stepdad, I was surrounded in darkness, but Liam was that glimmer of hope. Hope that everything would work out.

I may have gotten out of that awful situation that involved my mom and stepdad, but I don't know if my life now is better. My brothers created rules that may be there to protect me but they still neglect me. They never try to get to know me, like they don't know that I like music or that I write stories. They don't pay attention to me unless I break a rule. They don't notice anytime I flinch when they grab my arm or raise their voice. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful that I can get a good education and three meals a day. One thing I used to wish for when I was younger was older siblings and that they would protect me. All my brothers do is work or hang out with their friends. It's like I don't exist or hold any importance to them. I was hoping that they would make me break my own rule, which was never trust anyone, but they never gave me a chance to. These are the reasons I am crying right now. This is the reason why I am holding a razor blade right now and why I cut two lines on my arm. To replace the mental pain, I have to face it physically.