Trusting My Brothers

Chapter 31

I could barely sleep that night, my mind reeling with everything that happened. Honestly, I don't really care about the conversation I had with Mr. Rivera; I care more about the sweet things that Cole did. The drawing, the paragraph, the hug. He caught onto things that Val has hasn't even noticed and we talk more than I talk to him. I mean why is it that the people that should be oblivious never are?

Even through dinner, I was quiet and wasn't processing what I was eating. To be honest, the only people talking at dinner was my younger older brothers; my eldest brothers were too on edge to engage in a conversation. All I could think about was how safe I felt in Cole's arms. The way his green eyes shone in happiness once he finished his essay and how a strand of his dark hair falls onto his forehead. Ugh, I sound like one of those dramatic tv characters.

On Tuesday morning, I just put my uniform on, add some concealer under my eyes for the bags, and put my hair into a high ponytail. My brothers were waiting downstairs and it became a routine for Nic to take me to school. I quickly grab a banana to eat and we head to school, just chatting about random things.

Once I get there, I walk to my locker and of course Cole is standing right there. Trying to ignore him, I grab my books and walk past him. He holds my wrist in an effort to stop me and I turn around to look at him.

"Is everything okay?" He asked.

"Of course. Why wouldn't it be?"

"Well you just completely disregarded my presence and usually you'll at least make some kind of  witty comment." 

"Yeah, well I guess I'm not in the mood today." Damn, I already feel bad and we have been talking for like a minute.

He looks genuinely confused. "Is this about yesterday? Because we can totally forget about that whole thing I it made you uncomfortable."

"No, it's not. I just want you to go. Please, I don't want to talk to you anymore. We both finished the project so there is no need to engage in conversation. If you do try to talk to me, I have information that can be exploited about you." I said harshly, and yet I feel terrible. He was trying to be nice and I am basically kicking him out of my life and blackmailing him.

"Fine. You know I actually thought that you were a sweet person with a fiery attitude, but I guess I was wrong. I guess your plan was to get the bad boy's wall torn down and hurt him. All I was trying to do was be your friend and you just push me away like I'm fucking nothing. Hell. Did you realize that I always tried to be open with you? Did you realize that I have stopped beating up on people once we started talking? You know, I have no idea how Liam can be friends with someone so manipulative." 

He sounded so hurt and I felt my heart breaking. It's funny how I have only known him for a couple of weeks and he was a asshole the entire time, but I still feel like I lost someone important in my life. I mean maybe its because he opened up to me and I just betrayed his trust. But how am I supposed to stay friends with him? It is different with Val since she is not a major person in the gang, whereas Cole is. There is no guarantee that his father won't figure out who I am. And yet, I feel myself giving into the side that wants him as a friend or peer, not a stranger.

I feel tears burn my eyes. "Just stop. I shouldn't have responded so rudely. But please leave just leave me alone." I say and walk to class, which thankfully, none of them I had with him.

I was barely paying attention in my classes, my body automatically doing the work but my head was spinning with all the thoughts. During lunch, I went to the the library instead of the cafeteria in an attempt to avoid Cole. Liam eventually figured out where I was and wouldn't stop asking about what happened between Cole and I. He told me that we seemed to have gotten along and we did, but it is just too dangerous, especially since he thought I looked familiar.

After school was over, I deemed that this has officially been the worse day ever. I lost someone that had kind of changed into a semi good person, I couldn't eat in the lunchroom because I was upset and felt guilty, I had a massive urge to cut, which I haven't really thought about until today, and I got into a argument with my brothers on the car ride home. To be honest, I don't think there was anything good about this day and I had Val blowing up my phone.

Once we got home, I went into my room until dinnertime and was quiet the entire time, eating the lamb stew that was served. My eldest brothers were exchanging looks of concern amongst each other, but didn't say anything at the table. After we finished, I went to wash the dishes and my oldest brothers followed me.

"Is everything okay?" asked Savio. It was the exact same thing that Cole asked me.

Deciding to be honest, I say, "No. Everything is not okay. Today has been terrible."

Enzo asks, "What happened? Is it about the Rivera boy?"

"It's about everything. You didn't see his face when I said we weren't friends. You didn't hear the pain in voice. Not only that, but I felt so bad that I couldn't handle eating in the cafeteria because of him. As if that wasn't enough, I got into yet another argument with my other brothers. I have never had such an urge to cut as I do now." I yelled with tears trickling down my face. They give me a hug and let me cry myself out.

"You didn't, right?" Nic pleaded. I knew what he was asking and I shook my head as if to say that I didn't.

Someone lifts me into their arms and carries me into my room, setting me on my bed. Since my bed is pretty big, my three brothers sit on it and try to calm me down. It must have worked because the next thing I know, I was asleep.

A/N: Hey guys! I'm struggling with how to get the younger older brothers to bond with her. I love the bond she has with Nic, Savio, and Enzo, but I don't know how to make the transition for the other brothers to start being caring towards her. Please comment if you have any ideas or suggestion for what I can do. Thank you!