Cassiopeia

The Worst Thing About Feelings- Benji

I was walking back to Aaron's house, it was getting warmer as the day went on. But Lillith words were repeating in my head. I wasn't in love, and I definitely didn't love her. My phone went off in my pocket so I went to check it.

hi dude imma go to the store...do u want anything...we can eat it after ur dateeeee I smiled, and felt my heart beat a little faster. I stopped walking, and looked up. People were walking by, children running on the sidewalk.

"Oh." I said quietly. "It- it is you." I guess I just wished it wasn't true, that I could ever like Aaron as more than just a friend. Part of me wished I was still with Lillith, where it all seemed normal. But now that I knew it was Aaron all I could think about was him.

See that's the worst thing about feelings, they're uncontrollable. Feelings are like a rose, they seem sweet, they seem pretty, but the thorns prick you. To enjoy the rose you have to put up with the thorns. That's why people are so scared of feelings, they couldn't handle the thorns. Roses suck and feelings suck, and yet we all are born holding a thorn covered rose.

Now here I was, the rose stabbing at my skin. I had known all along I loved Aaron, but I ignored it, and the less attention you give the worst the thorns get. And now I was covered head to toe in thorns.

I walked back to Aaron's house. We ate some donuts. I called my parents. I went home. Aaron texted me, I responded. We stopped texting around two in the morning. I laid down on my bed. Thorns, so many thorns pricking at my skin and drawing blood. I fucking hate feelings.