Mean Girls Missing

13

April 17

1:39 pm

Stephanie

One month of my life. Gone. Wasted. I would never get it back.

It was like I had been transported back to my childhood. The isolation, neglect, the lack of love that made me who I am. Or was. Now this was another entrapment of my life and I had no choice but to accept it. Just like when I was kid. It was strangely similar. Instead of hugs and kisses from Mom, I got gifts to satisfy me. Unfortunately there was affection on Arnie's side, but the lack of love resided with me this time. I just had to disguise it as real love to keep me alive.

Isn't that a depressing way to live? My life was fear of saying or doing the wrong thing and getting killed for it.

Sammi and I were curled up on the couch talking about the good old days. It wasn't often that we felt cheerful enough to chat and goof around. Today was going fantastic. We hadn't seen Arnie for two days now and each minute without him was stress-free.

Sammi had the bowl of popcorn in her lap. "Steph, do you remember when Mom found out you got your nipples pierced?"

Another fit of laughter. I slapped my leg a few times. "Oh my God, yes. She was mortified."

I had just turned eighteen. Now Mom couldn't stop me from getting tattoos or piercings. It was spur of the moment. I got them done just because I could. Fast forward a few months and we're on a family vacation. We were perusing the streets of Venice when out of nowhere, the hot sunny weather was traded for pouring rain. I was wearing a white top. Needless to say I got soaked and my top was see-through when it stuck to my chest. So Mom and Dad saw the silver bars hanging through my boobs and they were shell-shocked.

She had sputtered in amazement. But, w-w-why would y-you do something like that? That's for trashy girls, Stephanie. Are you a-a trashy girl?

No, Mom. I was quite the opposite. I held out on every relationship I had because the dude didn't feel like he was the one. Was a virgin until I was nineteen? Yes. I had no shame in that because I knew when I met Carlos, he was the one for me. I didn't have to think about giving myself to him. It felt natural. That's how I knew it was real.

"The belly piercing saga?" I offered.

Sammi and I had gone at the same time to get it done. Once I convinced the piercer to do mine, he didn't put up a fight to do hers. I paid him extra on top of a hefty tip for breaking the law for us, so it wasn't like I was ungrateful.

"Yeah, she was pissed." Sammi remembered. "Bro, she didn't talk to me for, like, a week after she found out."

"I know. I had to ask Dad for money instead."

"Yeah, but Dad gives us more when we ask."

Also true. Dad would slide us five hundred minimum while Mom usually didn't go over four hundred. He just wanted us out of his face. Well, they both did. Dad's technique was more effective.

Sammi popped some popcorn into her mouth. "What do you think they're doing right now?"

"Mom and Dad?" I clarified.

She nodded.

"Ugh, I don't know. Are they doing anything if we're still down here?"

Sammi giggled. "I know it can't be easy to track down missing people but damn, I thought they would make us first priority or something."

"You'd think..." I trailed off. Apparently Sammi and I weren't as important as we thought we were.

I missed spending time with Sammi like this. Good, quality sister time. We didn't nearly do it as much as we used to, but that's because we weren't always trapped. Quality time was getting our eyebrows waxed together or going shopping. It wasn't holding each other's hair back as we panic-vomit.