Repeat Until You Love Me - DreamNotFound

~7~

⚠Trigger warnings: depression, blood, suicide, death⚠

George had died before, and it hadn't changed anything, but what if he just didn't die in the right way?

He opened a drawer and pulled out a standard smooth blade kitchen knife. He gently pricked his fingertip with the end of the knife, and a drop of dark red blood immediately appeared. If he had been anyone else, in any other situation, he might have hissed in pain and pulled away, but he was too far gone. He felt nothing.

He examined the knife, contemplating the best way to end it. No matter where he did it, there would be pain, even for him. The chest was the most known stabbing place, as that was the location of the heart; however, due to the existence of his ribcage, stabbing himself there might be somewhat difficult.

The neck was another well-known spot, as it would cause him to lose a lot of blood very quickly while simultaneously cutting off the path from his throat to his lungs. It would probably cause him to die the fastest.

Without a second thought, he plunged the blade into the decided spot. There was a searing pain and blood gushed out for a few seconds before everything went black.

——

The funny thing with falling is that until you hit the ground, it's freeing, feeling the air rushing past. Everything seems to stop around you. Then when you hit the ground, instead of the world, you're the one that stops. The fall isn't what kills you, it's the impact.

George sat on the railing at the top of his apartment complex, gripping the bar. The street beneath him was quiet, save for a few cars here and there. Once he let go of the railing, he'd fall down to meet them, feeling that rush on the way down.

He shut his eyes and leaned forward, releasing the cold metal as he did so.

——

Water is traditionally thought of as a very conductive substance, but in reality, pure H2O does nothing to conduct electricity. What so readily conducts the energy is the minerals present in tap water.

George sat in the filled bathtub, not even having bothered to undress. His cheap toaster was plugged into the wall next to him, the cord barely long enough to extend from the outlet to the water.

He pushed down the levers, picked up the appliance, and dropped it in the bath water.

——

"Hey Dream."

"Hey George, you ready to record soon?"

"I'm not feeling up to it today," George said. It was true; he wasn't feeling up to anything. None of his attempts had restulted in anything except another loop.

"Oh. You okay? You wanna talk about it?" Clay asked.

"No, that's okay, thanks," George said. "...Can I ask you a hypothetical question?"

"Shoot."

"If something big happened to you, something that changed your life, and there was no way to reverse it, what would you do?"

Clay thought for a minute. "Well, I guess I'd just have to accept it. If there's nothing I can do about it, why try?"

George exhaled, sitting up. "Yeah, you're right."

"Any particular reason you asked me that?"

"Don't worry about it."