hyunjin couldn't help it- the irked feeling of paranoia nibbling in his chest had pushed him to turn on his phones flashlight to look up into the vents in the middest of the night. he could feel them. he could feel the anxiety of someones eyes boring into him and it made his throat feel dry. pointing his flashlight towards the door handle, he couldn't help but feel his chest squeeze with fear as he swore he saw the door handle turn slowly, but when he blinked it was still.
in all honesty, hyunjin felt insane. he felt as if he was some sort of weirdo. the thought of his members whispering about him all the time, talking behind his back about how he was too sensitive or loud- too over dramatic or too moody was something that consumed majority of his thoughts.
he just wanted to be normal- have normal friends, be able to relax throughout the day and sleep easy without having to scan his room constantly looking for a camera, or a pair of eyes. he was sick and tired of struggling to do something as simple as going to the toilet without thinking someone had planted a camera within the toilet to watch him, or someone from above was judging him.
in simple, it made life for hyunjin extremely hard. and he wasn't going to lie when he the thought of having some sort of paranoia disorder lies on his mind in his spare time. but he didn't have the time, nor money to get professionally tested. so he delt with it, often feeling his heart twinge after another wave of anxiety hit him repeatedly.
"turn off the light, hyunjin" a voice seethed at him from the opposite side of the room. from the dull light illuminated by his light, hyunjin could see minhos siloutte perched up on his elbows, and he could practically feel his seering glare as it burned into him. within a second, the room was once again pitch black. "sorry, hyung" he mumbled a hushed apology, his heart stammering in his chest.
"yeah, yeah, just go to sleep, jin. we have a packed schedule tomorrow and you'll need as much sleep as possible"
and with his thoughts racing, hyunjin hummed, sealing his eyes closed and hoping that sleep would hit him soon.
but it didn't- well not until five am, in which he was awoken barely an hour later and rushed to get prepared for the day.
oh, how he despised life.
