Queer As Folk - What Happened Next?

67. Second Thoughts

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"What do you mean he's not coming?!" Justin's shocked face looks to Lindsay for answers.

He's stressed, stressed to the maximum. The gallery looks good, looks really good but the thought of having his own show, to carry the whole thing on his shoulders is pretty overwhelming. It's one thing having a few pieces on view at a gallery back home, it's a whole other level having nearly every piece you've ever created on view in New York City. For an artist, having your entire catalogue on show is like opening up your chest and showing your most vulnerable parts. 

It's personal, his art is so personal and he can't tell from the vibe right now how people are receiving it. What if everyone hates it? What if he's eviscerated in the press tomorrow? His career could be over before it's even begun. Also, the gallery is packed with people he doesn't know and he still doesn't do that well in crowds.

Lindsay is the only other person that really knows him aside from the gallery owner and his agent and he only met them a few weeks ago. He had counted, no depended, on Brian being there. Brian would be his safety blanket, the one person who he would feel protected with against the critics and anyone else who didn't like his work. The one person he knew would come because he...

"He promised!"

Justin's hurt and increasingly angry face has Lindsay trying to placate him. "Look, your Mom is coming, she'll be here shortly I'm sure and I'm here..."

"He promised Lindz."

The catch in Justin's voice, the hurt in his eyes had Lindsay wrapping her arms around him to give him a hug but Justin pulls away as soon as he can, unable to process the news without space and a little peace and quiet.

"Justin!"

"Hey Mom."

"This is amazing!"

Justin dully acknowledges and agrees with his mom that it does look good, as good as he'd hoped with his paintings covering the white walls of the gallery but he can't concentrate or give anything or anyone his attention until he finds out why Brian didn't come.

~~~

"Brian?"

"The keys are on the table, just give me a minute..."

Ted waits, a little nervously it has to be said, in the darkened ambiance of the loft. With just a couple of lamps on to light the space, he idly wonders exactly how many men have been through the door that he's just entered. None in recent months he guesses from how much time Brian has spent in the office. 

"Christ, did you sleep at all last night?"

"Thanks Theodore, you look good too..."

"Shit. Sorry. But...did you?"

It has to be said that Ted is shocked. Shocked at the decline even from last night to this afternoon.

"A little. No, not really. What did you tell Lindz?"

"Exactly what you told me to tell her. That an emergency came up. She's pissed. But said she'd pass the message on. Brian, don't you think you should say some..?

"No."

"But..."

"Ted for fuck's sake! Are you going to help me or not? Because if you're not you can fuck off right now!"

~~~

Justin plasters a neutral look on his face, turning to greet his dealer and the gallery owner who both want him to meet people. Influential people. Art critics, collectors, the media. Everyone in the room basically, or so it seems to Justin.

"He's rattled. Did Brian tell you why he couldn't come?" Jennifer asks Lindsay as they stand on the top of the stairs looking down into the crowd below.

"No. In fact I didn't speak to Brian at all, it was Ted who phoned me."

"I don't understand it," Jennifer muses out loud, unknowingly voicing all of Lindsay's questions. "Justin's told me that he's been flying over regularly to see him, so why not now? This is the biggest night of his career, and Brian's not here? You don't think he's having second thoughts do you?"

"Second thoughts?"

"About Justin!" Jennifer takes a gulp of white wine, glancing over at Lindsay as she does. One of Justin's earliest pieces that she saw was of Lindsay and Gus, if anyone knows Brian it's the woman standing next to her.

"No!" Lindsay' s voice is adamant and firm. There's no way that Brian is having second thoughts. Her hands grip the rail as she talks, "I've never seen him with anyone how he is with Justin. She looks to her left, making eye contact with Jennifer as she does so. "He loves him. I know he does."

"Well, he may love him, and I'm sure he does," She reassures Lindsay with a smile, "But he's got a funny way of showing it."

Jennifer's eyes scan the crowd looking for Justin before she finds him. Her heart swells when she spots him, her beautiful son, doing what his father never wanted him to do, and doing it brilliantly. She just wishes that the most important night of his life hadn't been marred by the lack of a certain Mr Brian Kinney.