Exiled (AmBw)

Chapter 45

Layla Pov

Cherophobia: the fear of happiness, an irrational aversion to being happy. The term comes from the Greek word 'chero,' which means to 'rejoice.'

Sounds almost fictional.

Who in the hell could feel anxiety over things going well in their life?

I would have said that with full confidence just a few hours ago. Who in their right mind rejects opportunities that could lead to positive life changes because of fear. I would have never been able to comprehend this if I wasn't feeling this dread coursing through my veins as I waited for Crystal to open her door. Shaking as I held everything I brought to Japan in my hands, I waited. My emotions so fried from the panic attack I fought through thirty minutes ago, I couldn't think straight. I could only keep repeating the same thing over and over again.

I had to.

I had to.

Giving it no thought that Crystal might not be at home, I stood on my sore ankle at her door, wanting more than anything to see her and for her to tell me everything was going to be ok. The minute I saw her face after she opened the door, my eyes began to well up with tears. Almost like she knew why I was at her door, she looked at me for a bit before I spoke.

Shaking my head, I tried to find the words to say. Crystal just waited as I threw out whatever words I could manage to scrap together.

Layla: " I..." I said, feeling a tear stream down my face. "I just... Tell me I'm doing the right thing." I said, my voice cracking.

Crystal: "You're doing the right thing." She said calmly before hugging me.

Dropping all my things, I broke down crying in her arms. After letting me release all my pent up emotions, She patiently listened as I broke down what led me to her door in the first place.

Like a tsunami, my shores reseeded with every call I received this morning, starting with my first moment of hesitation, Naoto.

Last night after an almost perfect night with Crystal, Naoto lifted me into the bed and continued swooning me until he uttered the words that started this madness.

"What if you didn't go back home to New York? Do you think you could be happy here with me?" He asked, looking into my eyes the way he did the morning after the night we spend embracing each other.

De-escalating the question he dropped on me, he backed out of having the conversation last night and told me to think about it and that we'd talk about it today. Kissing me on the hand and then on the cheek, he said goodnight and left the room, not knowing what he had done.

He had opened pandora's box. I sat awake, thinking about his questions. I thought of all the pros of staying by his side before diving headfirst into all the cons. I thought about my life in New York and my life in Japan. Thoughts like these kept me up all night, and when I thought I finally came up with my answer, I received two calls and a voice message that reshaped everything.

The first was a call from Sato. He called to let me know they passed for qualifiers and offered me a position on the team as a lead choreographer and after as an instructor at EXPG.

The second was a call from Elizebath, HR at BAZAAR. She called to let me know I got the promotion I was working hard for and that she'll see me in her office bright and early Monday morning.

Then came a message left by Naoto on my voice mail because I missed his call. He sounded like he was smiling with every word. "Hey, I don't know why I'm leaving you this message. It just hit me. I think I'm falling for you. What am I doing? I shouldn't be telling you this over the phone. I should be telling you this in person. Anyways, I had to tell you. We'll talk more when I get home. Bye." He said then the message was over.