Review - One Step Closer

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Title - One Step Closer

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Title - One Step Closer

Author - Asmita_Mukherjee

Introduction

Title – One Step Closer, is quite an encrusting way of putting up what you have to offer and I loved the thought behind the title. It left me with quite a handful of questions like – who is taking that step? For whom? Why? Then again when I pondered on it, these questions are the attributes which will pull the readers in. Well done!

Cover – That is a cool idea of showing a walking pair of feet in the picture. It totally relates to the plot. The font style is very fitting although on that note I would like to add, maybe a darker colour will make it look clearer and more dapper!

Blurb – Well, I couldn't yearn for a better peek into the story! You did an incredible job in introducing the two main characters, the prime concept of the story and letting us know what to expect from it, at least the minimalist idea.

Summary

I genuinely liked the message you are sending through the story; it is very impressive! The plot of guilt which soon turns into something deeper like love is really amazing. Ray is himself going through a lot but despite of all that he makes it his life mission to save Evan from not getting drowned in the clutches of loneliness, self-hate and low esteem on life is indeed so mature coming from a seventeen-year-old. The journey isn't easy for them but I liked the way they still tried to cope up and help each other, have each other's back at the lowest times makes the story even more beautiful and lovable.

Analysis and evaluation

Character development – You have crafted some amazingly relatable people in the story. Let me get started with Ray, he is a flat character who sometimes takes up the role of a round character and like switching between helping himself and Evan. I loved his maturity and innovative ideas, the confidence in him to approach Evan, that really made him what he is.

Mick is a dead character but I must give this to you because you webbed it so connectively that he almost carries the main idea of the story, I sort of miss him although there wasn't much of him in the story.

Evan is the round character of the plot, the one whose personality changed the most in the story from being naively alone to forming a bond with Ray. They make an amazing pair!

Sally and Dave are those friends which everyone has in their lives to spice up things when necessary and be the support system when in emergency.

Plot – Amazing Job! I liked the points where you created the innovative games for Evan to look back into his life and understand he is not alone. The basic concept of helping out a suicidal person was conveniently conveyed. Although I had this urging question of why did Ray assume that Evan is suicidal? Wasn't it too quick to come to a conclusion without proper evidence because even people suffering from antisocial disorder stay away from crowds and likes to blend alone? Rest all was perfectly put at spot. I was even wondering are you going to explore the self-love concept in the plot, because there is a powerful saying – If you want to love others, you should love yourself first – by a very influencing youth icon.

Descriptions – This is the area you can improve a lot, instead of using redundancies like – I nodded .... Dad nodded back – you can go with something like – I nodded . . .Dad acknowledged it with a head shake- well, these is just a suggestion based on my knowledge of literacy so you can just ignore if you did not like it.

Grammar and Punctuation – I didn't find any punctuation errors and for the grammar part, it is also well written although I would like to add that the first draft is the writer understanding their complete story so whenever publishing it is better to proof read twice for a better result, and I think you already do that!

Sensory Flow – I was really swept into the story with the way you have described the entire plot, step by step you took one step closer to the main aim of the story and not once did the scenes feel out of place. Kudos, for the good job!

Conclusion

Overall Impression – Honestly it is difficult to imagine a romance between the same genders but the fact that it didn't overshadow the other important aspects of the story helped me love them! I really enjoyed reading it.

Suggestion – I think I have given enough points in above categories where you can improve so I will take this opportunity to morally help you – if you are very passionate about writing be stubborn and don't give up because haters are going to hate that is players should keep playing!

It is not easy to write a story and complete it. Congratulations for doing it! All the best for its completion!


Regards,
breathes_oxygen

Regards,breathes_oxygen

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