Book reviews
Because we appreciate the effort taken to carve out a story.
Do you want a honest review, guiding you at your weak points and showing you where you are best at?
Here is the place!
~ ~ ~
There was a time in everyone's life here. They ha...
Title : Little Steps is a very communicable title yet very ordinary. One may feel it as another similar story to hundreds out there, which may be the case but when thinking a bit more about the title made me wonder – we start running only after learning to take our first step. Little by little we take a step towards our destination, be it a story or life.
Cover : A cover is the first impression a reader has on the story – the ability of telling your theme of the story through a picture design and express your message is very important. Being a honest critic first I will recommend you to ask someone to make a relatable cover, which can draw much attention within a glance. You can order for graphics in our SPLASH PIXELS also, we have some amazing designers on board! (Just being a promotional fairy, please don't mind 😅)
Blurb : Basically what is a blurb? In simple words for me it is a window into the soul of the story. You write something incredible in the blurb only for two reasons – lure or cure – a reader into the story. An element of mystery always plays a prominent role in grabbing a reader's attention like why did a certain thing happen or what is going to happen, etc etc. Too many chefs spoil the dish and similarly too many unknown names kill the trap of curiosity. What I would suggest is instead of naming all the characters in the blurb, try showing what is happening in Sev's life and then pose the question of what will happen?
Summary : On a very honest note I don't like reading fanfictions. But this one was something different. I haven't ever imagined of how would it be when Harry and Prof Snape has exchanged shoes and roles. Little Steps is beautiful crafted leading to a never-ending run of sweetness and love. All the characters involved are very relatable to the Harry Potter series yet there is an essence of your own touch in the plot. Amazingly webbed and put out for us!
Analysis and Evaluation-
Character Development : As we all are already very familiar with Harry and his characteristics it must be a difficult job to show him with a different light but you have done very much justice to the Harry of Little Steps. The same goes with Severus also, although still the somewhat rude part was kept intact in the character but the new in spectrum was seeing the broken part of him. Of course it was set in a different space and attribute as compared to the original story but it was very relatable of how it would feel to read all the scene from Severus's point of view.
The supporting characters were placed all in the correct amplitude which kept the balance of the story perfectly intact. Good Job!
Plot : When I saw that it was a fanfiction, I didn't think it would have much of a different story line or anything much, new, because it is a vastly built story with a parallel world(Harry Potter Series) so bringing your own twist and a diabolic sprinkle of your magic made it specifically entertaining. Like how the interactions with the baby were described but again how Severus is scared that Harry might give up being a guardian because of their past experiences. It is having a beautiful storyline with a broken character and the other one who heals. In the most distraught of time eclipse we don't desire big car and big houses. All we need is a few kind words and an envelope of warmth.
Descriptions : If words and ideas are ingredients of a story then Descriptions are the step by step procedure of a recipe to get the best taste of the dish. This is what differentiates your writing style with others. What I generally suggest is not to use much of informative sentences because in order to pique someone's interest either throw them offset or pull them into the writing.
For example instead of writing – Sev was standing in the crib – you can try adding more adjectives and write it like – Harry felt both scared and happier to watch Sev standing on the crib, silently praying for a safe ovation.
On the side note I would like to add, as this is a fanfiction maybe you don't need to take the above tip because you have already done an amazing job in captivating the reader. That was solely a writing tip from both as a writer and critic for your future writing adventures.
Vocabulary, Grammar and Punctuation:
Well worked on all these three aspects. But, if I won't mention about the little slip up in the opening blurb of the much then it will be wrong to even give you a fake review. Even if gold is polished and newly bought there is always a chance to shine and shimmer it better so is the same with our writing work. We can always keep improving, so it would be lovely if you could take your time and do some filtering here and there.
Sensory Flow:
I am giving this completely to you. Awesome! That is one of the best plus points about writing in a third POV that you can connect easily with the readers but the minus point is only minimum characters connect because sometimes it is impossible to show the emotions of all the characters in the scene. The phase changing of ages, day and night helps to keep the balance of emotions between Harry and Severus although at points they do reach extreme points.
Conclusion-
Jubilant! With a little more polishing and watering I say it has awesome chances to make it big because very few become successful in attempting a fanfiction with a new background and a completely different concept. Kudos!
Last but not the least I would like to say that this was my way of helping you improve and in no way criticizing you. I hope you understand it and take the positivity from it.
I would love to read the completed product. All the very best!
