You Got Me (JenLisa)

Not A New Chapter But Please Read

Hello :)

I'm sorry to say but I got nothing for y'all this month. I know. It sucks. It does suck for me, honestly. I took a necessary break this whole month from, I don't know, I guess everything? Including writing. Don't hate me. :)

What happened was uhm...

Last August, I lost my dog due to blood parasitism. I had to rush him to the clinic because he was suddenly pooping blood and when we got there, he was already vomiting phlegm. They tried to revive him in front of me, but...

He was my roommate for years. He was a loyal companion. He was there when I got to wake up in the middle of so many nights and being unable to breathe. He was my comfort. When he died, it felt and still feels like a part of me has died, too. There were long nights back in August when I would just stare at the wall and with the lights on. I couldn't sleep.

And beside me was another dog, a female. Sweet, clingy. She wasn't really the best roommate but she was company. She was my sister's. Left under my care because she had to go back to the city for work. At some point back in August, I was like "I'd probably go crazy if I'll lose you, too" whenever I stare at her. And she was there. Bubbly and noisy and sweet and clingy. Vet said I had to take her to the clinic for check-up, just to make sure she was healthy. When she got there and got checked, doc said she was fine. She was a happy dog, doc said. But they still took blood sample, just to make sure. Results came out and she was sent with meds. Lots of med for I don't know what, except that I was told she was anemic and her platelets are abnormally low.

And so I gave her those meds. Eight, in a day. Barely a couple of days after, I noticed her tummy got bigger. I thought she was pregnant. One night, earlier this month, as we were about to sleep, I noticed she was breathing abnormally heavy. It wasn't even panting. She was struggling for air. Morning came, I asked my sister to bring her to the clinic because I couldn't do it myself. I got scared. I was shaking badly. I didn't want to go through again what I went through last August. Just barely 48 hours after I sent her to the clinic, she was dead. And within those hours, I was told by the doctor that she had: enlarged heart, edema, that her liver was compromised and she had worms. WORMS? Her poop had always been clean, dammit!

Anyway, the news of her passing was vague. And so I had to rush to the clinic late at night to check and get her. And got her, I did. Inside a box, wrapped in something they used in the operating table and with blood at the side of her face. I fucking died, honestly. It was a heartbreak beyond anything. I couldn't sleep with the lights off. I couldn't sleep with the lights on. And I couldn't sleep in my room anymore. I couldn't sleep at all. And so I decided to take a break. From everything. Because I could never forgive myself for what happened.

I know. I know. It's unfair. I should still be writing for a new update and everything, despite everything, but I couldn't. I mean, I tried, really. But it was so hard. So so hard.

I will update this October. Set me a deadline, if y'all must. :)

Anyway, thank you so much for reading the story and for being patient with me. I appreciate all of you. Each and everyone.

Love, K

P. S. If you have fur friends, or just anyone you love so dearly, please hold them and keep them close.