Stray Kids | Imagines

I Hate to Admit - Bang Chan

*written from Chan's point of view*

(A/N: This imagine is inspired by the song I Hate to Admit It by Channie himself :). I couldn't help it, the song is too emotional and touching for me to not write something inspired by it.)

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"Will you stop ignoring my question?" I demanded, following Y/N as she walked out of the kitchen and slumped on the couch.

"What question?" she said obliviously, clearly not invested in the argument I was starting. 

I sighed exasperatedly before saying, "Y/N, I texted and called you a thousand times last night, and you did not respond to me at all! And you are acting as if nothing happened!"

She looked up at me from her seat, finally making eye contact with me for a few seconds before staring back at the TV. She then said nonchalantly, "So what? You literally don't reply to my texts sometimes either."

Huffing in frustration, I sat down next to her and made her look at me. "That's because I'm really busy, Y/N. For god's sake, how many times do we have to go over that? I have so much work to do as the leader of my team."

"Well, can't I be busy too?" she snapped back as I bit my lip, anger bubbling in my body before I pushed it away.

"You are always free on Sundays, don't give me that excuse. Plus, texting me back really can't take that long. You could have told me you are too busy to call," I countered calmly, careful to not cause a heated argument.

It was a routine at this point. Fight after fight after fight. Y/N and I's relationship has only begun about five months ago, still pretty fresh, but somehow already falling apart. There was always a reason for us to argue, whether it be small or serious. 

These days, we could never meet up without disagreeing on something. We couldn't do what a normal couple does. Taking her out on a calm, proper date seemed impossible. Even the tiniest of things such as holding hands was difficult.

"Chan, you can't just expect me to be there for you all the time! You can't expect me to be perfect!" she started to yell at me as she stood up, even when I was trying to resolve the situation calmly. 

"I know you aren't perfect, and I'm not saying you should be!" I stood up as well. "I just can't believe that you were so busy last night to the point that your phone wasn't around you for an entire four hours! I was worried you were in trouble!"

Silent, Y/N stared at me for a few seconds as she gulped nervously. I stared back at her, our fight turning into a staring contest.

"Where in the hell were you?" I asked her once again, tired and sick of repeating the same point. I just wanted to make sure she is safe and not in the dangerous side of this world.

"The club," she replied coldly. I couldn't be sure if it was the truth, but it didn't sound like a lie.

I frowned, not happy with the answer she gave me. "The club? Why would you go there? You know that's not the best idea!"

"High school reunion. My old classmates wanted to meet up and I didn't want to refuse," she sniffed, and only then did I realize that her eyes had teared up.

Even if she wasn't crying like crazy, seeing her tears still broke my heart. 

After all, I did genuinely love her.

My first instincts were to hug her, and I did so by wrapping my arms around her small, vulnerable body and pressing her tightly against me.

Sometimes I wished my feelings wouldn't take over me. Sometimes I wished that I can act logically rather than following my heart.