The school day was over and Jahseh took me to McDonalds. Jahseh ordered my food for me because I kept telling him I wasn't hungry but he insisted that I ate. We sat down and waited for our food.
"So......you gon tell me why you not eatin?" He questioned
"Not in the mood" I said with no emotion
"Whatchu mean 'not in the mood'?" He asked
"I just don't.....I don't know Jahseh like....honestly I really don't.....I don't know" I admitted. He nodded his head.
"How's your mental health?" He questioned
"Horrible. I feel like.....I feel.....I feel like I don't fit in because I'm crazy" I admitted
"That's makes you different. You don't have to fit in and I'm crazy too" he says
"That's one things the boys and I love about you. You're obviously different from the other girls around here. We call you 'lil crazy' because you're crazy but it's not a bad thing" he comforted. I nodded my head. Our food was served. I wasn't eating it.
"Eat" Jahseh spoke. I picked up by burger and bit it. I felt like I was going to throw up. I was also eating it slowly.
~
We left and Jahseh drove me home.
"Imma call you when I get home to make sure you don't do anything stupid" he says
"Okay" I agreed
"I love you" he says
"I love you too" I said. He then drove off. What does he mean by 'don't do anything stupid'? I thought to myself. I went inside.
~
Jahseh called me and we had a regular conversation.
"Bubbas" he spoke
"What's one question you always asks yourself?" He questioned
"Mine is........does she like me back?" He added
"Who do you like?" I questioned
"Don't worry about it" he laughed. I felt a wave of jealousy rush through me.
"Whatever" I said
"Mine is.....will they miss me when I go?" I said truthfully.
"Why?" He questioned
"Just a thought" I shrugged my shoulders
"Not a good one" he said
"Y/n are you okay? Like seriously" he asked
"I'm fine Jahseh. Stop worrying about me all the time" I said
"Well of course I'm gonna worry about you cuz you say shit like that" he said
"Ok whatever" I rolled my eyes
Y'all in my SOS class (Signs Of Suicide) we had to answer these poll questions that would determine if you're like suicidal or whatever and then my counselor emailed me her number and she was like "text me if you wanna talk" like ion wanna talk to you. She also sent me the suicide hotline number.
