Eyes Blue

Anywhere but here

Two days later
I hadn't expected Hikaru to storm out of the music room but what really shook me was that there was no Kaoru trailing after him either...someone had broke the world! I tried to reach out to him as he ran past but he was too angry to notice me

Haruhi slipped out the door, she needed to stay with Kaoru who I presumed was in the music room. She called after Hikaru clearly struggling with the two "You stay with Kaoru, I'll talk to Hikaru" I knew my attendance record would suffer probably causing another beating but if it meant my friend was okay then what did it matter?

I trailed him outside where he kicked over a plant pot and sat himself down on the mini garden wall with his head in his hands, as I put my hand on his back, he slapped it away without thinking but it's what I expected from everyone these days - if my parents could hurt me, who couldn't?

"Sorry, I didn't mean to-" he realised I hadn't had that much of reaction to his aggression "You don't seem surprised?" I sat myself next to him "it's a long story. What brought you out here?" I didn't even look at him, I just let him talk when he was ready

"Kaoru and I got in a fight, we're over. Do you know what he said to me?!" It was clear Hikaru wasn't thinking clearly, he was driven by his emotions which were clouding his ability to make choices.

That's why I couldn't let him leave the host club in this state, I knew how much it meant to him and he'd regret it later but be too proud to say anything, typical Hikaru behaviour but I knew how to work with him

"And what did you say to him?" Each word that spilled from Hikaru's lips showed his emotions in such a raw manner, it made me second guess whether this was Kaoru just pretending to be Hikaru? But Kaoru wouldn't burst like the music room in rage like Hikaru had done. And it was clear I needed to fight for him - he wasn't going to

"I see why you left the host club, wish I had sooner" I watched the boy turn away from me in shame, it was a feeling I knew all too well, I knew it everyday walking into school looking like I'd taken on a rhino and lost repeatedly before escaping. What I had to be careful of was how deep I went into things, Hikaru wasn't a talker or at least not with his issues

"Because of Kaoru?" His gaze shot right back to me when my question struck too deep as he flung his arms out drastically knocking over another flower pot accidentally but I didn't flinch, I needed him to believe I felt safe with him and that meant convincing myself first.

I tried to picture all the times I'd been to a festival and smashed plates for fun, but only one time came to mind however it wasn't a time I was comfortable sharing, not with anyone.

"Who else?!" It was a question with endless answers, I hadn't been in the room when the argument had broke out so for me, it could've been anything. But I'd been part of the club once, and I knew each member well - that shortened the list down to who would regularly interact with Hikaru

"Does this mean the game is on pause?" I thought changing the subject might help or at least distract him, and maybe get them off my back but my hopes were too high for the Hitachiin. Games were his way of life, of course he wouldn't drop it if I asked!

"No, I still wanna know! What happened at the physical exam?!" His body was fully facing me now, I had his attention when I didn't want it "Why didn't you flinch with the flower pots?! When I accidentally hit you?!" my mind raced for a subject change but none came, or at least none that would hold his attention

"They love you, you realise that don't you?" His face shifted into one of confusion but he still went with it. Why couldn't I face him? I couldn't bring my body to turn that extra inch just to face the boy who was now ready to talk like I wanted him to

"Yea, of course but-""So except for Kaoru...what's the issue?" He opened his mouth then closed it again trying to come up with a valid argument but no words came out, i watched him turn away slightly avoiding my gaze as if he was embarrassed, who knows? maybe he was...

"You're not there anymore!" I was taken back by his comment, I didn't think I had so much of a presence there which I thought would lead to everyone forgetting I was ever there. Maybe it was more of a hope? That it would be easier to move on for both sides of the spectrum?

"Hikaru...I wish I could explai-""Why can't you?! Huh?! What's so hard about opening up to me?! To us!" I stood with my head hung low, I knew that deep down he needed me but I didn't know how much of this I could take. When I became their manager, I learnt not to take things too personally but this was different - this was directly at me, and aimed where it hurt the most

"If you must know - a year ago, my father went on a business trip to sestriere in Italy, he met a woman out there and fell in love then had a illgetimate child...Dad wants to make the kid the heir of the family and Mom, wants me to be the heir" he kept looking at me as if there was more to tell, I mean - there was but he wasn't getting it

The moment I did it, I knew it was wrong. I turned my back towards Hikaru who gripped my wrist causing me to hiss more than I usually would "that's not it is it? There's more to it than that!" I ripped out of his grip clutching my wrist in my hands still staring at the floor

"I hate to say this but as former manager of the host club, it would be best if you spoke to Kaoru and made up before things spiral" he stood there frozen as I slipped my hand out of his strolling away into the distance, it felt like he'd finally pushed me over the edge but that wasn't quite it

I was the twin's first 'princess', guess who they tried the game out on elementary school...me. When they entered the host club, I was their test dummy for the first few weeks then they got the hang of it - like training wheels I guess, but now it was like they didn't need me anymore and I didn't quite know how to deal with that...

maybe I should give them space to experiment on their own without their 'safety net'...