Shitposting the Sans AUs! (discontinued)

17

Horror: Just one question, if you saw yourself being sold on the Dark web would you  buy yourself?

Dust: Bold of you to assume I have money.

Horror: Bold of you to assume your expensive.

~•••~

Nightmare: Alright we're having a new sans join us their name is- HEY!

Nightmare: Dust! Stop playing rock paper scissors with Killer! Fell! Stop talking to Lust! LUST STOP FLIRTING WITH FELL! CROSS!... I don't know what the fuck your doing AND SOMEONE TELL ME WHERES HORROR?!

~•••~

Killer: *Playing with Airplanes and making sound affects*

Nightmare: *Walks up to him* Killer, ho-how old are you?

Killer, looking Nightmare dead in the sockets: I'm 21 years old.

Nightmare: *DYING INTENSIFIES*

~•••~

Dream: *Tapping on table lightly*

Nightmare: *Taps in table in responce*

Cross: The hell are they doing??

Horror: Morse code.

Nightmare: *Taps aggresively on table*

Dream: *gasps and slams hand on table* YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!

Dust, petting the table: You poor table..

~•••~

Nightmare: I want to be a reverse tooth fairy where I rob people and scatter human teeth on their bed.

Dust: A dentist.

Geno: I don't know what your dentist is doing to you but I think you need to go to the police.

~•••~

Nightmare: I'm not mad, i'm just wondering why you two would need a fake ID.

Dust: *Incoherent mumbling*

Nightmare: What was that?

Horror: ...You need to be over 18 to hold the puppies at PetCo..

~•••~

Dust: Attention crew, this is your captain speaking. We are going to be experiencing some high turbulence soon. Killer just bet that I couldn't do a 360 barrel roll in this thing and let's just say i'm about to be 20 dollars richer real soon.

~•••~

Horror: You can say "Have a nice day" and no problem, but you can't say "enjoy the next twenty four hours." And not sound vaguely threatening.

Lust, tired af: Babe, it's 2AM... Go to sleep..

~•••~

Horror: Coconuts produce milk and are covered in fur, so why aren't they clasified as mammals?

Lust: Horror what have I said abo- ...wait-

~•••~

Fell: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- / -... ..- - / -.-- --- ..- / .- .-. . / ... - .. .-.. .-.. / .-- .-. --- -. --.

Sci: What the hell was that?

Fell: Remorse code

Sci: ...Now i'm even angrier-