terrible things e.s.

4 ay ay

On the night of my eighteenth birthday, Ed was placing sloppy kisses down the base of my neck, leaving love bites in random places. My lips parting as a soft moan left my mouth. Ed chuckled against my skin. "Shut up," I mumbled as he took the little bird necklace between his teeth. He let it fall back against my collar bones as I sat up, pulling my tank top off, throwing it on the floor. He took in my bra clad chest. I lent forward and brought his lips back to mine.

Ed's lips on my skin felt like fire on ice. With each fiery kiss, my heart melted a little more and a new flame was lit. My hands roamed Ed's body, starting in his hair and then his neck, moving down over his chest to his back and back again.

Each press of the lips and each touch was needier than the last. Ed's lips attack my neck and a whole new sensation ripples through my body, forcing a small moan to escape. Ed's hands move down my body, stopping at my jeans. The button pops open as he continues to distract me with his lips.

With my hands finding a place on his neck, Ed's find a place in pulling down my pants. At this I push my hands against Ed's chest. "Stop, stop."

My heart rate is fucking skyrocketing and my breath blows out rapidly, trying to blow out the mind fogging flames from the intense kissing.

"What's wrong?" Ed pants out, his cool breath hitting my heated skin.

"It's my first time."

"Shit, yeah, sorry, I almost forgot," Ed was somehow no longer of the virgin category, no body really knew how anyone would willingly fuck Ed. Then again, here I was.

"It's okay... Just, let's take it slow. I want to do this with you," Sometime in the millisecond between deciding whether to stop or give this boy my virginity, I made the best decision I believe I had ever made.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Yes I'm sure. I want this. I want this with you," I ran my hands over his chest and neck and the fiery kisses started again. I helped him pull off the suffocating jeans he wore, more kisses were shared, and our tongues fought battles and before I knew it, I was only in my underwear and Ed was only in his boxer briefs. I was really starting to get excited about losing my virginity to Ed. If I was going to do this, he would be the one I wanted it with; I couldn't think of a single person I would rather be doing this with.

My hands went down and played with the waist band if a Ed's underwear.

"Hold on, I have to put on a condom."

"Right," I said, awkwardly.

It amazed me when Ed just casually reached his hand over me to grab his wallet that sat on the bedside table, pulling out a silver packet, ripping it open, and sliding out a rolled up circle.

Ed removed his boxers and I saw my first ever three diminutional penis. It was different than I thought it would look up close. I figured it would be slimy or something but it only resembled skin. Nothing exciting, other than the fact that it propelled off of his body like the fucking limb of a tree. Also, it was big. I honestly didn't think it was going to be that large and I had a gut feeling that it just wasn't going to fit, and if it did, it was probably going to rip a muscle or something-- if that was even possible

I couldn't stop staring at it as Ed rolled the condom onto it, and even after that, when we were just in this awkward position where Ed was hovering over me, naked, and I was just laying under him-- stif as a board and frightfully staring at the most private area on his whole body. Ed must have caught up on the fear of my face, because he lightly tapped my chin and placed a kiss on my unmoving lips.

"Are you okay?"

"I think I'm going to throw up."

"Why?"

"I'm scared."

"Don't be it's alright. But if you don't want to do it, we don't have to."

"No, I want to."

"Well as long as you don't throw up on me."

"Okay."

"I'm going to take off your underwear now."

"Wait," I take a deep breath and reach back to up clip my bra. I take it off and throw it off of the bed, leaving my breasts fully exposed. If I'm going to do this, might as well do it right, "Ok you can now."

I feel my underwear slide down my legs slowly.

"I'll go slow, I promise, and if you want to stop, just say the word."

"Ay ay, captain."

"I think you just killed it," Ed sighed, dropping his head low.

"Killed what?"

"The mood. Rephrase, murdered. You murdered the mood."

"There was a mood?"

"Um, well, I mean..."

"Well shit does this mean no sex?"

"Not unless you want to stop."

"I guess you should put it in then," I smirked.

"Good idea," and then I just feel a high amount of stretching and pressure, like when you stretch for the first time in, like, a year and then times that by ten.
I'm pretty sure I'm bleeding too, I heard you do that. It's not bad actually but I am finding no pleasure in this once so ever, I am just highly uncomfortable. How do people do this?

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm grand."

"Are you going to open your eyes?"

"Is it over, yet?"

"I haven't started..."

"I think I'm dying," I squawk, covering my face with my hands.

"What? Love, we don't have to continue doing this if you don't want to," he removed my hands from my face.

"Just move," and then it hurts. Really hurts. So, he pulls out slowly and then slowly pushes back in and it hurts even more. Ed is moving very slowly and, to be honest, I think it would be less painful if he went a little faster.

"You can go faster."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Ed moved in and out of me at a slow but more steady pace and the pain lessened. Eventually, I open one eye and then the other until I'm met with, most likely, the hottest thing I have literally ever seen: Ed with sweaty hair and bare chest, pulling the sexiest face with a small smile, just to make me feel a little better about the situation.

The sight aroused me, but all I could feel down there was a dull pain and the friction of Ed moving a tad bit faster.

It didn't take long for Ed's breath to pick up after that and his neck craned back, as the sexiest sound escaped his lips. And then he just got up and went into the bathroom, leaving me naked and laying in bed, exposed and unable to move. A few minutes passed before
he came back with a warm towelette and laid down next to me.

"Here, to clean yourself up, yeah?"

"Thanks," a few moments past before Ed spoke again.

"Well was it all you thought it would be?" I thought over the question for a few seconds before answering.

"I think you broke something."

-

I aM sO aWkWaRd

(( btw in case you didn't know "ay" is actually pronounced like "eye" or "i", as in pirate, not this mess of a generation ))