terrible things e.s.

15

May

Wake up.
Brush my teeth.
Brush my hair.
Sigh at how much came out.
Take my pills.
Drink juice.
Drink water.
Let Eddy force feed me some toast.
Throw it up.
Grimace at how you can see the outline of all of my ribs.
Try not to cry.
Fail miserably.
Get myself together.
Watch the news.
Wish my family off to a good day at work and school.
Stay home and sit.
Watch meaningless sitcoms.
Stare into space.
Make some tea.
Take my pills.
Force myself to eat.
Throw it back up.
Knit.
Make fun of myself for acting like an old woman.
Read.
Pretend I don't have cancer.
Throw up, again.
Remember.
Try to relax.
Call mom.
Listen to her ramble on about my cancer.
Take meds.
Call Ed during his lunch break.
Dry heave.
Knit.
Watch useless sitcoms.
Read.
Wait.
Welcome home Ed.
Pretend to be happy for my family.
Let Ed force me to eat.
Take medication.
Throw up.
Cry.
Read to Lukey.
Put him to bed with a fight.
Get light-headed on the way back down the stairs.
Close my eyes and breathe.
Talk about our days with Ed.
Sleep.
Let the cycle repeat itself.