The Butterfly Code

41: 6 days left

October 8:

Jimin's birthday is soon.

In a week.

I'll be home in a week.

I'll be with people in a week.

I haven't had any contact since coming here.

Sijeon hyung was my only contact.

I've grown used to him.

He is not bad.

He is not hurting me, at least. That's what he's saying.

He says he's helping me.

Teaching me.

In a way, he is right.

I've grown thinner.

I've grown stronger too.

I don't cry anymore when he hits me.

I don't scream anymore when he uses me.

No.

I just sit there.

He's superior to me. I learned that. I'm lower. Much lower. I have to listen. Or else people get hurt.

Simple as that.

⚞☽☆☾⚟

When I go home, I wonder if the boys would be happy.

It's been floating in my head for so long. Would they be happy? Would they greet me? Would they smile? Would they hug me? Would Namjoon kiss me?

Namjoon...

I miss him.

I miss him alot.

I want to talk to him.

I want to just tell him that someone who isn't him is kissing me.

But I can't.

Namjoon will only be caught up in this.

He doesn't need to be.

He'll worry to much.

They seem to worry a lot about me.

Am I that helpless?

⚞☽☆☾⚟

Sijeon hyung hurt me.

It hurts alot.

Everything hurts...

I'm going to sleep...

Yes.

I'm just going to slee____________