The Butterfly Code

89

Midnight

Jin turned on his side for the nth time that night. It was a wonder how Namjoon hadn't woken up from his turning, yet Jin was also grateful. His dark eyes wandered aimlessly around the dark bedroom. He thought back to what he tried 5 hours ago.

death.

death.

de-

"Shut up," Jin growled, but then sighed.

He turned again, this time facing his leader. Even through the darkness, Jin could make out the aftermath of the tears Namjoon had shed. The tears that had been shed for him. The older frowned and finally, he decided that he couldn't sleep. Jin sat up, gently prying Namjoon's hands off. He gave a soft peck on the rapper's forehead, then swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat upright. 

Jin glanced down at his bandaged left hand and then at the sleeping bags that littered in between the beds that occupied the room. They were in Taehyung and Namjoon's room. Taehyung, Jimin, and Jungkook were sleeping together on Taehyung's bed. Namjoon and Jin were on the leaders. Yoongi and Hoseok had grabbed out two sleeping bags, settling for space in between the two beds. 

None of them wanted to sleep in a room where Jin wasn't present.

Jin closed his eyes, as pain filled his heart. He had scared them. He had watched them all fight and yell at him for the past six months. Each of them had argued with him for the same reason. Jin was a coward, he knew that. He was forever fearing to leave them. But he was forever running away from his suffering. 

Arms wrapped around his waist and Jin jumped, before hearing Namjoon's voice, "It's just me, love,"

Jin relaxed as much as his body would let him. He glanced up at the younger, who glanced down. Jin positioned his hands on Namjoon's, the two gently rocking side to side in the darkness. 

"Joon?" Jin called faintly.

"Yes, my angel?"

Jin slightly blushed at the name. He was still not used to Namjoon peppering him with love. 

Or perhaps he had lost such a comforting feeling for so long, he had forgotten how it felt...

Jin shook that away, closing his eyes and speaking his mind, "I'm s-"

"Nuh, uh, "  Namjoon cut him off, "No more apologies baby,"

Jin paused before speaking again, "I noticed this all year but, you six seemed different around me. I remember that book you said you read back in June, but...I just felt something was off,"

Namjoon stiffened against him. Jin opened his eyes, turning around to face the taller, "I'm right, aren't I?"

Namjoon was ready to reveal everything. But he knew he couldn't. Not yet. So, Namjoon just softly kissed the elder. They parted for a couple of seconds, in where Namjoon slipped, "You started acting weird in June...I guess because of that book we were attentive and it scared us,"

Jin hummed, tilting his head up to deepen the gesture. Namjoon pushed him back to lie down, the rapper now hovering over the singer's frame. When they parted, Namjoon nuzzled his face in Jin's cheek.

 "Good thing we did..."

A/N: so...im alive.

And im also tired and bored. But besides the point. I am so sorry for not updating but I really just couldnt bring myself to do such a thing when there was so much going on around me.