*** OCCURS AFTER
CHAPTER 59 & DIRECTLY
FOLLOWING (NN) TREMBLING ***
( nn ) I WANT THIS;
A MATURE NUMBER
NEIGHBOR ONE-SHOT.
"i don't, um, feel anything," she said without wiring her words through her brain.
mike, hovering above her, choked on a laugh. he nodded, staring down at his wide-eyed girlfriend in amusement. "that's because i haven't put it in, yet."
her already flushed cheeks seemed to burn even brighter at his gentle, understanding tone.
everything was so perfect before. mike did everything right with the way he touched her and tasted her before, he made her feel better than she thought was possible. it was perfect.
but she's gone and she's ruined it.
she couldn't stop messing everything up, couldn't stop killing the mood with her words or slightly injuring him with her movements.
he already had one drawn out, scarlet scratch on his lower stomach when she reached out for his belt buckle without looking, catching his porcelain skin with her nail in the process.
then, after she left the removal of his jeans and boxers to him as a precaution, she tore the condom in two with her shaking fingers. luckily, thanks to max, they had an entire box at their disposal (which, despite the ginger's joke, were not petite), but it didn't make it any less mortifying.
she mumbled a soft 'sorry', and passed the next foil square in the sleeve to mike, scared she would only end up tearing it again.
he saw her embarrassment and kissed her cheek and then her forehead before tearing the packet open, rolling on the protection and pinching the tip to leave space on the end, ignoring how she only allowed herself to glance down once every other minute.
"are you sure you're sure about this, el?" he asked again, feeling how rigid she'd gone beneath him. he also didn't miss the way her hands trembled and the way she gnawed at her lip between kisses.
her voice was pitched higher than normal. "yes, i'm sure. why wouldn't i be? do i not seem sure?" she wasn't accusing him of anything, she was genuinely asking. did she not seem like she wanted this?
he gave her a small, crooked smile, tilting his head as he gazed down. "it's just that you're stiff as a board. i don't want you to do something you're not sure about—"
her hands left his back and came up to cover her face, a low whine sounding in her throat. "god, i'm sorry, mike. i'm sorry. i swear, i want this and i am, i'm ready. i want this with you, and i want to give this to you, i really do, but i just keep messing it up, and i'm sorry. i don't know what happened."
he sighed and shifted to lay beside her again, pulling one of the thin blankets over their naked bodies. he grabbed hands, and pulled them away from her face. "hey, it's okay. el, baby, it's fine," he soothed, holding her hands in his.
she shook her head. "no, it's not. this is supposed to be... okay, not magical, but not like this. not me totally spazzing out, and ruining it."
"you haven't ruined anything, you couldn't have. this is all about you," he promised, kissing the space between her brows.
she frowned. "no, don't say that. i can't handle that type of pressure, i'll—"
"i'm not trying to make you feel pressured. i just meant with it being your first time, i just—"
"no, no! you aren't making me feel, pressured. i was just saying that i don't want this to be all about me because it's about you, too. we—"
