clashildr one shots

Bog Lesbians

     "I once woke up in a swamp, covered in moss and severely hypothermic, with nothing but a Hoizer song playing in my head." Ashildr spun herself around on the office chair with her foot.
     Clara erupted in laughter from where she sat, on the floor, in the corner of the room.
     "You should have seen the faces of the poor nurses who had to deal with me at A&E when I said I'd been laid in a bog for a week."
     Clara was still laughing.
     "My girlfriend at the time called me Shrek for six months."
     Clara had finally regained her composure. She sat covered in biscuit crumbs on the floor of the office (that they never saw the point in having as neither ever actually did any work). Perhaps the TARDIS held onto the room for nights just like this one - when the careless owners would stumble home slightly giddy from their travels and sit with a frankly ungodly amount of custard creams. Perhaps the TARDIS held onto the room as a subtle hint that they should probably be trying to earn some from of money as Ashildr did need to eat. Either way, it was a prime location for the swapping of dumb stories.
     Ashildr stood from her office chair, crossed the room, and plonked herself down next to her wife. "Of course, medical records around me were hazy. They thought there was a mistake because I had entries on the NHS from the 1960's and this was, like, 2100 or something stupid. 'I think someone has mistaken you for your great grandmother,' they said. 'You do look so alike.'"
     "Bog Woman of the 22nd century is alive and wants a kebab," Clara stuck on.
     Their laughter filled the room again, pushing the ceiling slightly higher. Ashildr pulled one knee up to her chest and rested her elbow on it; Clara saw this as an opportunity to shift as so she sat between Ashildr's legs, facing her side-on, and leanied her back against Ashildr's raised leg.
They sat in contemplative silence for a long time. Ashildr's mind floated from one inconsequential thought to another until she fell asleep and with a mind full of pleasant nothingness.