When Confidence Collides

Chapter 19: Soon?

"I am on my way now," I tell a very enthusiastic but nervous Syd before hanging up and returning my attention to the road.

Sydney had informed me that she was cooking dinner for us, something she only does when she has done something wrong or wants my approval. I feel like it has something to do with the Lucas and Syd thing, but I can't be sure. All I know is that she sounded more nervous on the phone than she did when she toilet papered and smashed one of our racist high school teachers house.

The teacher had made a comment on my skin tone, mentioning milk chocolate. The main thing I remember is Sydney's look on her face when I had told her, she was furious. It didn't even slightly bother me but must have touched a nerve for her. Syd had to deal with some racism when she was younger, she is Asian and where we went to school, kids would always pull offensive faces at her and say things as they walked past. I, however, not so much. So, I was utterly shocked when she told me that day what we had to do and even then, she sounded surer of herself than she did right now.

I stopped at a red light and looked out of the window. I have been trying to keep myself busy recently. It helped to fill my mind with what I was doing rather than letting it drift off into thinking about stuff that I would rather forget about. Occasionally my mind wondered to him, but I always caught it and replaced the thoughts of him with something else.

Weeks had passed and I was still waiting for soon.

Not a text, call, DM, not even me randomly bumping into Jace. It was just a kiss. No strings attached. No problem, right? It's not like I haven't kissed someone before. I didn't mean to be acting jealous, like at all, I just... well, I don't know.

I had just hoped that it meant as much for me as it did for him.

At least I now have my answer.

I wasn't going to act like some love-sick puppy that has separation anxiety just because I kissed some guy once, that's not me. If the feelings aren't returned, then what is the point of pondering over it? I'm not going to lie and say that it didn't hurt when I didn't hear from him, but I am used to men leaving me in life. My own Dad did, and he was blood.

The first few days I was excitedly checking my phone, waiting for a message. That died down on the second week and by the third, I had given up completely.

I decided to carry on like normal, as if nothing happened. I mean, nothing really did, did it? I was and still am disappointed. The one thing I hate in life is when people can't keep their promises, I grew up with a Dad like that and I am not taking it anymore. Enough of my life has been wasted with a person like that.

Sydney, Calla and Lucas all avoided bringing up the situation, it was obvious, but I was grateful.

I jumped in my seat as the horn of the car from behind me sounded, alerting me that the light was on green. I apologised and carried on driving home, trying not to think of him.

-

The clattering sound of cutlery hitting our plates filled the awkward silence between us all.

My gaze lifted from my plate up to Lucas. He was intensely staring at his food, keeping his head down. I turned to look at Syd, she was the exact same. They were both acting like they had done something wrong and I was about to tell them off. So, I acted exactly like that.

"So, have you two stopped acting the fool and actually decided to get your head out of your asses and get together yet or are you going to continuing torturing everyone by longing this out even further?" Like I have said before, I don't like beating around the bush.